


The Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Cafe

by HistoriaGloria



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Asexual Caduceus Clay, Asexual Character, COFFEE SHOP AU SORTA, F/F, F/M, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Modern AU, More tags maybe added as this goes on, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, the mighty nein - Freeform, widomauk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2019-10-14 07:05:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 45,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17503916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HistoriaGloria/pseuds/HistoriaGloria
Summary: Caleb Widogast was the proud owner of the Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café in Zadash. It's a small living, but the wizard can't imagine doing anything else, not with the rag-tag bunch of misfits that he calls friends? family? around him.But navigating learning to love oneself after tragedy is always hard and a certain lavender-skinned, tattooed, scarred tiefling walking into his life is making all the more complex. But maybe also a little easier.





	1. Freundlichkeit

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Trauma Cafe](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14806572) by [MeBeThem4815](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeBeThem4815/pseuds/MeBeThem4815). 



> Okay, so I may have watched all of Critical Role Season 2 in like... 2 months? Episode 26 does not exist and I will never let this ship go.
> 
> Also, I have never written a coffee shop AU, not in my seven years of writing fanfiction which is a Travesty. So, therefore, Widomauk gets my love.
> 
> I have no idea how long this will be or how often it will be updated; university is hard and I've just started DMing my own campaign, but I'm very invested, I promise!  
> I really hope you all like it. 
> 
> Chapter title means Friendliness

The _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ is settled deep in the centre of Zadash, down a small side street beside the Pentamarket and it is a teeny little place.

Caleb Widogast loves it.

He has owned the small store for 3 years now and it is his pride and joy, towering stacks of books and journals and magazines with little nooks for chairs and tables. Sure, in terms of space, it isn’t huge, but it makes it comfy.

It is home. And even if sometimes Caleb struggles to earn enough to eat on poor weeks, he would never give up his bookstore.

Every morning, at 5 am on the dot, Caleb wakes with the bleeping of his alarm, runs his hands through his flame-red hair and shuffles out of his little room, as quietly as he can, so as not to wake his flatmate, Nott. He gets quickly ready, slipping into soft, well-worn jeans and shirts and ratty jumpers. Then, at 5:30, he makes a cup of steaming tea and slips down the creaky stairs into the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ , beginning the process of setting it up. And, by 6 am, he is ready for the day ahead.

And this is the same way that all of his days go.

* * *

 

Usually, one of the mismatched group that is his friends turns up and today is no exception. Around 8 am, a sleepy-eyed Fjord stumbles in through the elderly wood door, the little bell above giving a cheery tinkle as the half-orc enters.

“Mornin’ Caleb,” he grumbles, rubbing his knuckles against his piercing yellow eyes.

“Good morning, Fjord. Your usual?” asks Caleb, already beginning to make the strong black coffee with an extra shot, just as Fjord likes it.

“Mhmm. Already a rough mornin’. An’ I’ve gotta go to physio today,” Fjord rubs his left leg, just above his knee. Caleb makes a sympathetic sound as he hands over the strong coffee to the ex-navy sailor.

“Your leg is playing up today, ja?”

“Yeah, think it’s bad weather rollin’ in.” Caleb gives a small smile. Fjord has a habit of saying this, no matter what the weather looks like, but the rest of their group always has entertained him. They’ve all got their quirks. It just so happens that Fjord’s focuses on the deep bullet wound in his leg.

“Well, you be taking it easy today, over at the store, don’t be putting too much pressure on it, okay? Or you’ll have Jester berating you again.” Fjord gives a playful shudder at the mention of his tiefling girlfriend.

“She keeps threatenin’ to call in sick to work for me but… well, I need the cash.” That, Caleb understands all too well. He works at his little bookstore every day, without fail and is the only one who does.

Well, Nott helps out when she can. But his goblin housemate, who is almost a mother to him, works late night security at a range of events and is often sleeping when the café is open.

And Beauregard, who Caleb could consider an annoying sister (not that he would ever admit it), works weekends with him. But all in all, the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ sometimes struggles to make enough money to pay Beau and feed Caleb.

“Ja, I understand that,” sighs the wizard, using Mage Hand to wipe down the sides as he continues to chat to Fjord. “But also, be looking after yourself, mm?”

“You know me, Widogast.”

“Ja, I do, that’s why I say it,” he fires right back and receives a crooked grin for his troubles.

“See ya around,” chuckles the half-orc as he lumbers out of the café, heading across the road to his own work, the small general store opposite.

“Have a good day,” Caleb calls as he moves around from the back of his counter to begin adding a couple of new books to his shelves calmly.

Caleb’s day continues to go quite well. The stream of customers has been steady this morning, with a couple of large groups of businessmen passing through. Admittedly, he is very sure he has coffee beans in the small bun that his hair is in and mocha smeared across his left cheek, amidst his beard. But that is very usual; he is a very scruffy wizard. Currently, there is a young grey-skinned tiefling curled up in an armchair by the window as they sip an iced coffee and read one of Caleb’s many books. This tiefling is new to the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ ; Caleb knows all of his regular customers by name. But he is always willing and excited to have new customers. They remain in the corner throughout the slight lunch rush. But just before Caleb can decide whether or not to talk to this newcomer, the door swings open and a seven and a half foot tall familiar firbolg ducks into the café.

“Ah, Caduceus, mein Freund!” beams Caleb as the pale-furred firbolg heads over to his counter. “What flowers did you bring me today?”

“Good afternoon, Caleb. Today, I have some forget-me-nots and edelweiss for you. Beautiful small flowers.” Out of the large wicker bag at his side, Caduceus draws out several small bouquets of blue and white flowers, placing them on the counter. Caleb reaches out, stroking his fingers over the tiny white flowers of the edelweiss.

“These grew lots up in the Zemni Fields where I’m from.” There is a gentle glitter in the florist’s eye and Caleb gets the sense that that is exactly why Caduceus brought them to him.

“They are beautiful,” is all he says. Caleb pauses for a second, images of his childhood and the little flowers that bloom across the area flashing across his memory. But then, he shakes his head and gives Caduceus a faint smile.

“What tea can I get you today, Cad?”

“Mhmm, do you still have that lovely rose and lavender one?” he asks in his warm, rumbling tone and Caleb nods immediately.

“Ja, ja, I’ll go make that, one moment.” He turns away, beginning to create the leaf tea which the firbolg is so partial to, heating the iron teapot with a very carefully controlled flame dancing from his fingertips. “So, how has the shop been?”

“Steady, I suppose. I have had several large orders but its been slow on the walk-ins.”

“Good, good,” hums Caleb absent-mindedly as he keeps his focus on the flame as the water begins to boil. “Glad that things are going good.”

“What about you, my friend?” As Caleb pours the tea for his furred friend, he frowns slightly. There appears to be a deeper hint to Caduceus’s question, but he evades it. He has always been far too perceptive.

“Me? Ja, it has been steady here. A little busy today but that is no bad thing.” He hands over the steaming mug as he flicks a mage hand over to clean up the items behind him.

“Good. But I was not asking about the café, Caleb, you know that.” The wizard huffs, his blue eyes flicking up but not meeting the gentle, searching pink eyes of his friend.

“I am well,” is all he says, knowing far too well not to lie to Caduceus. The firbolg raises one brow but does not speak, merely sipping his tea slowly. Caleb is saved from more questions as the grey-skinned tiefling steps up, hovering awkwardly at the counter. He darts away from Caduceus.

“Can I help you?” The tiefling gives a faint, sharp-toothed smile.

“Um, yes, can I buy this book?” They hold up the book, a well-bound leather book, which Caleb recognises immediately as a tome on the history of Zadash.

“Of course. That will be 2 gold please.” The tiefling’s brows crease and they pull out a small coin purse and count out 1 gold and 6 silver.

“Ah, I’m, I’m so sorry, I’ll put it back-”

“Nein,” Caleb says immediately. “That will be just fine, schatz.” He sweeps 1 gold and 5 silver off the counter, leaving the other silver piece for the tiefling. Their eyes go wide, and they go to protest, but Caleb shakes his head.

“Nein. The book is yours, my friend. You are always welcome at the Zemnian Traveller.” The tiefling grins, their pupiless yellow eyes crinkling with joy.

“Thank you, thank you. I… I’ll be sure to come back soon.” With that, they turn and walk out of the café, clutching the book to their chest, tail dancing behind them. Caduceus tilts his head.

“That was kind,” he rumbles.

“Ja, well. I was like that for a long time. Always wanting books but not rich enough to buy them.”

“You are much friendlier than you let on,” half teases the firbolg and Caleb rolls his eyes in response. 

“Ja, ja, whatever,” he huffs, but its playful, as he turns away to continue tidying behind the counter, rubbing absently at the mocha splashed across his cheek.

“I should get on, my friend,” says Caduceus, draining the dregs of his tea and sliding the cup across to Caleb who flicks his Mage Hand across to grab it and place it in the sink with the other mugs. “The shop won’t run itself.”

“Ja, of course, Caduceus. It’s always good to see you, thank you so much for the flowers,” says the wizard warmly, coming over from his cleaning as he gives Caduceus a one-armed hug over the counter. “Will I see soon?”

“Of course! I shall be over in the next few days for tea as usual,” he says as he heads over to the door, waving as he begins to head out.

“See you soon, Mr Clay!”

“See you soon, Mr Caleb.” And the firbolg ducks to step out of the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café._

* * *

 

The rest of the day passes unremarkably. Caleb rearranges the flowers on the tables, placing the fresh bunches of edelweiss and forget-me-nots into the tiny vases which had previously held small carnations from his florist friend, pausing at every table to cleans and readjust. The afternoon is quieter than Caleb would have liked but when he counts up the money from the day and its enough for the rent and the utilities for the week, which considering it is only Tuesday, is fantastic. He is smiling as he closes up the door of the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ at 5:30pm, per usual. It doesn’t take more than ten minutes to clean up the shop as its been quiet towards the end of the day before he heads upstairs, stretching out his shoulders.

“Nott?” he calls. “Nott?”

“Good evening, Caleb!” chirps Nott from their living room as Caleb unlocks the door and slips inside. The goblin is sat on the sofa, picking at her nails slightly, her glowing eyes fixing on the human as he comes in. “Good day?”

“Ja, pretty good! We have enough money for our bills all week and its only Tuesday!” She beams at him, her sharp teeth glinting at him.

“I’m really glad. I have work tonight too, so it looks like it shall be a good week.”

“Ah, we could do with one,” he sighs as he heads over to the little kitchenette to begin to produce some simple pasta dish for him and Nott to eat before she heads out to work. Frumpkin, the stray cat he adopted a couple of years ago, winds around his legs and mewls up at him until he puts some food down in the cat’s bowl with a small smile.

“Jester texted,” calls Nott as Caleb clatters around.

“Ja?”

“She says thanks for checking up with Fjord, he’s not doing so great today and she’s going to pop around the café tomorrow with this new guy who has joined the studio. He’s apparently very hot.” Caleb rolls his bright blue eyes at his meddling friends in his love life. Jester, who works as a freelance sketcher and tattoo artist, has a terrible habit of texting him about any individuals who she thinks he will find attractive. Admittedly, Caleb so rarely checks his phone that at this point, she now texts Nott to rely messages to him. Caleb is not well versed with technology at all and the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ runs basically off of manual functions.

“Honestly. Tell her it will be nice to see her and that I wish Fjord well.” He stirs the pasta, chuckling slightly. Nott doesn’t respond, but he can hear her laugh and tap out the response.

The night is quiet and normal. Caleb and Nott eat with gentle conversation before Nott gets ready for work, pulling on black uniform and strapping her daggers to her boots carefully.

“Don’t wait up,” she calls, as she always does. “And get some sleep!”

“Ja, I shall,” Caleb calls right back as he settles down to add a few new books to his catalogue of the bookstore. As the door closes behind Nott, Caleb scratches his pen across the notebooks he keeps. Frumpkin curls up at his feet, purring up a storm and he absently scritches at his ears in-between scrawled notes.

It is usual. It is the easy rhythm that Caleb adores, keeps him focused, keeps the darkness pushed to the back of his brain, at least for most of the time.

And when he falls asleep, curled around Frumpkin in the single bed at around 11pm, he feels calm, in control.

Caleb Widogast, proprietor of the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café,_ may have some skeletons in his closet, but he is doing okay right now.


	2. Kaffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb gets to meet Mollymauk, but his day really wasn't going well. 
> 
> It's been busy and there's cat fur in his hair and he hasn't had any tea.
> 
> But maybe Mollymauk can make it better?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you all so much for all of the fantastic responses to this! I really hope that you continue to like this.
> 
> Widomauk is beautiful and I think after episode 49 and Liam O'Brien Doing That, we need some cute early flirting. 
> 
> Title means Coffee and other German is translated at the end!

Unfortunately, the next morning doesn’t go as well. Caleb wakes late, Frumpkin fast asleep on his head and so it takes him twice as long in the shower, trying to clean out all of the ginger fur from his hair. He still manages to open at 6 on the dot, but he’s tired and hasn’t had his tea yet.

And he doesn’t get it for a while. He has his morning rush, making coffee after coffee and then he scalds his hand making a tea for a half-elf man who curses and hollers at him as he makes the second with a slightly shaky Mage Hand. By the time the morning rush is over, it is after 10 am and the scald on his hand is red and angry.

“Sheisse…” Caleb hisses, slipping his hand under the cold tap. “Well, just another burn to add to the collection.” His voice is bitter and muted, but there is no one in the café to hear him. Still grumbling under his breath, he pulls out his first aid kit from under the counter and shuffles through the kit, pulling out his burn cream and some bandages. Carefully, he cleans the wound and wraps his hand as he hears the gentle tinkle of the bell from the door. As he glances up, his stomach drops.

The tiefling who has just walked into his café is beautiful.

They have deep lavender skin covered in white criss-crossing scars and rich red eyes. They appear to glow in the warm morning light, sending sparks of light across the floor as the sun glitters across their various piercings and jewellery. Caleb makes a faint choked sound and then,

“Caleb!” chirps a familiar voice from the door and he manages to look around the beautiful tiefling to Jester behind them.

“Ah, hallo, Jester,” he mumbles out and is suddenly very aware that the jumper he is wearing has three holes in it; there is definitely cat fur in his hair still and the bags under his eyes are very heavy currently. He really does not want to confront this beauty. “This must be your new friend, ja?”

The little blue tiefling nods, beaming at him as she bounds over to the counter, tugging the other tiefling along with her.

“Yes! This is Mollymauk, he’s new and he works at the tattoo parlour, isn’t he pretty?” The newly-dubbed Mollymauk laughs and Caleb’s gut twists instantly. The sound is fantastic.

“Um, yes, hallo, Mollymauk, it’s nice to meet you.” The lavender tiefling presents his hand with a flourish and shyly Caleb shakes, cautious with his scald.

“Nice to meet you too, Caleb, wasn’t it?”

“Um, ja, Caleb Widogast.”

“He owns this, isn’t it great!” says Jester excitedly, spinning around on her heel. Mollymauk gives another laugh and nods, releasing Caleb’s hand to gesture over at his small coffee machine and tea counter.

“This is fabulous, such a warm and cosy set up,” he almost purrs, stepping over to draw the backs of his talons gently across the books closest to the counter.

“Ah, aha, thank you. I am very proud of it,” Caleb manages to choke out, trying desperately to keep his voice level. “Can, can I get you both a drink?”

“Tea would be great,” agrees Mollymauk and Jester chimes in with her usual coffee order.

“Soy latte with one shot of peppermint and two shots of salted caramel syrup!” Caleb’s mouth twitches up into a grin. He only has these two syrup types because Jester is basically the only customer who ever asks for them. He caters more for people who enjoy teas.

“Coming right up.” As his Mage Hand begins to work on the coffee machine, he heats the water for Mollymauk’s tea with his fingertip.

“So, Mr Widogast,” drawls Mollymauk, suddenly close again.

“Caleb,” he corrects automatically, glancing quickly up at the tiefling but not catching his warm red gaze.

“Mr Caleb,” continues Molly, unperturbed. “Have you read all of these books?”

“Yes,” Caleb answers honestly, but does not look at Mollymauk, far too focused on the little flicker of flame at the edge of his left index finger. The tiefling makes a faint wheezing sound and Caleb has to look up then, worried that something has gone wrong.

Mollymauk’s eyes are wide and his jaw is slightly agape.

“You have?”

“Ja, I mean, ja? I read very quickly,” Caleb mutters, slightly embarrassed and Jester giggles.

“Oh, yes, Mollymauk, Caleb is a massive nerd. Forgot to tell you about that one.” Caleb rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything, focusing on pouring the drinks for them both.

“I mean, I kind of got it from the context clues of this very lovely bookstore,” Molly teases and the wizard huffs at him as he hands over the tea.

“Jester, coffee.” She bounds over and takes the sickly-sweet mixture from Caleb’s Mage Hand, beaming almost as sweetly as her drink.

“Thank you, Caleb!” she trills as she pays for both hers and Molly’s drinks.

“You have just joined Jester at the tattoo parlour, ja? How is that?” Caleb asks, to shift the conversation away from himself.

“Oh, yeah! It’s great. I’m new to Zadash, just like, getting on my feet and stuff, so it’s really great to have a nice place to work. But Jester runs me ragged,” laughs Molly, over Jester’s indignant gasp.

“Molly! I do not! I only asked you to deal with one customer today.”

“Yes, but that was in the 2 hours we have been open.” Caleb watches this exchange with a slight smile, seeing easily how Mollymauk and Jester get on. She sticks her tongue out at the other tiefling and takes a long drink of her coffee.

“Oh, Caleb!” says Jester, suddenly focusing on the wizard again, as he turns to finally make that tea that he has been craving all morning. There is no one but himself and the two tieflings in the café and the quiet is very welcome. “Tell Nott we must have another Girls Night soon!”

“Why don’t you text her?” Caleb smirks and Jester squeaks in agreement, pulling out her phone to text Nott, who, Caleb is sure, is asleep upstairs.

“Girls Night?” echoes Mollymauk.

“Yeah! You should totally come, get to know all of the others… In fact, let’s not have Girls Night, lets just have everyone over! Group night!” Jester continues, at her usual fast pace and Caleb blushes at the idea of having to deal with so many people all together, even if they are just his friends.

“Oh, ja, okay, does that mean me too?” asks Caleb.

“Yes, of course, Caleb, you have to come! And Caduceus, I don’t ever get to see him!”

“Jester, you saw him two days ago, here,” the wizard points out and Jester waves her hand, dismissing his comment.

“Group night it is then! I’ll talk to Fjord and get it sorted!” Caleb gives a sigh and exchanges a quick glance with Mollymauk which clearly asks, _is she always this good at getting her way?_

_Yes, I’ve given up by now._

Mollymauk grins widely at his replying glance and Caleb feels a weird emotion settle in his chest.

He likes Mollymauk.

Caleb is usually so slow to trust, to open up, to like someone, but somehow, he feels like he could be okay with it with Mollymauk. Perhaps maybe they shall get to talk more at Group Night, as it has now been coined. Their friendly banter ends as the door to the café swings open and a few harried workers shuffle in.

“Oh!” says Mollymauk, draining the end of his tea. “We should let you get back to work and we should return to the parlour. But we will see you soon, yes?”

“Oh, ja, I will see you at this Group Night, ja? If not before. I will be here.” Jester bounds over and gives him a quick hug, as she finishes her coffee.

“See you soon, Caleb!”

“Ja, thank you for coming round, Jester.” Caleb is glad that the hug doesn’t last very long, but he is used to Jester now. She knows him well enough to be aware of when is too much for hugs. Mollymauk gives him a warm smile but doesn’t approach, which Caleb appreciates.

“Lovely to meet you, Caleb,” he says.

“And, and you Molly,” Caleb replies with a little wave as he turns to deal with the customers.

As Jester and Mollymauk leave, Caleb can smell the scent of lavender which follows the purple tiefling out of the door. It distracts him for a second but he has to go back to work.

Oddly, Caleb realises that he would genuinely like to see Mollymauk again. This is not something that he is used to; it usually takes him a long while to warm up to someone but Mollymauk is… easy apparently.

It makes Caleb smile.

* * *

 

The rest of the day goes well, like the encounter in the morning had suddenly turned around his entire luck. None of his other friends frequent his little café, but the afternoon is steady, giving Caleb enough time to finish his cataloguing of the new books he has ordered. And as he closes up at 5:30, heading upstairs, he is greeted by the homely sounds of Nott whistling through her crooked teeth and Frumpkin purring from his spot by the small radiator. He goes over to scratch behind the cat’s ears and he smiles at the mewl from Frumpkin and then the noted increase in purring.

“Gut Katze,” he murmurs, petting his head gently.

Nott and he share an uneventful evening, eating the leftover pasta from the night before. She heads to work around nine, giving Caleb a kiss on the temple and telling him to get some rest. Caleb smiles, ruffles her hair and tells her to be careful at work.

He appreciates Nott’s kindness, her friendship and her care more than he could ever say. She has been there for him for so long.

And, that night, Caleb falls asleep to the thoughts of lavender, cerulean skin and the gentle affection of Nott.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gut Katze - Good cat


	3. Furcht

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb's weekends are rarely as constant and anxiety-provoking as this. But perhaps he is just unlucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Hope you all continue to enjoy this, I've had some recent idea about where this is going which is good!
> 
> This is a long one, to make up for the time it took but I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Title means anxienty, fear or dread.

The weekend sneaks up on Caleb. The week is unexciting and constant, without much of much of note. The grey-skinned tiefling returns on Thursday and does some more reading, but before Caleb can go talk to them, they get a phone call and leave rapidly. He hopes he can speak to them soon; he likes to get to know his regular patrons.

But soon enough, Saturday morning dawns and Caleb gets his 2 hour lie-in as he opens the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ at 8:30 on the weekends. And, at 9 am, fashionably late as usual, Beauregard saunters mid-way through Caleb’s small morning rush.

“Nice of you to join us,” snarks the wizard and Beau flips him off,

“Yeah, yeah, Caleb, I’m here, ain’t I?” Caleb gives her a little smile, playful and small as she pulls on her apron and gets to work.

“Eventually.” Now that Beau is here, Caleb takes a second to clear up the tables which have been left, replace some of the books that have been moved and shift the flowers once more. Beauregard can be sharp and difficult but she is like family to Caleb by this stage. She basically took him under her wing when he moved into Zadash three years ago, not that either or them would ever admit it.

As their morning rush slows and Beau is arms deep in soapy suds as she washes the cups, Caleb asks,

“How is the gym going?”

“Oh, yeah,” she grunts. “S’fine. Had to teach the kids taekwondo yesterday and I swear I could have throttled some of ‘em. I’m never covering that class again.” Caleb’s lips twitch into what classes a smile for him at her grumbling. Beau loves teaching martial arts at the gym maybe thirty minutes from the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ but she has never claimed to like children.

“Does Yasha like children?” Caleb asks, his voice casual. Beauregard immediately scowls at him.

“I wouldn’t know.” Caleb gives a crooked smile as he sides the clean mugs that she balances on the drying rack. She hip-checks him with a huff as she moves away to deal with a customer, which hurts. Caleb is never prepared for the amount of power she can pack into her movements despite her background. As he looks up, a familiar white-haired, very buff women enters the café and he chuckles, hissing to Beau.

“Speak of the devil.” But before he can continue to tease her about her very obvious crush on their mutual friend, he notices the individual who Yasha appears to be happily chatting to.

Mollymauk Tealeaf.

Today the purple-skinned tiefling is casually dressed, wearing a sheer, flowing shirt which shows off the twisting tattoos all the way up his neck and down his left arm. Caleb inhales sharply and immediately shifts away to busy himself reorganising the books on the left-most shelf in the store as Beau deals with them. But, of course, he can still hear them speak.

“Ah, uh, hi, Yasha. Who, uh, who’s this obnoxiously dressed individual?” Molly scoffs playfully but Yasha is the one to reply.

“This is Molly. He’s recently moved back to Zadash but we’ve been friends for years. We used to work in a travelling carnival together. Molly, this is Beau. She works at the gym during the week.”

“And I help Caleb here at weekends,” grunts Beau and Caleb sneaks a glance out of the corner of his eye at Mollymauk. The tiefling is practically draped over the counter, smirking in a way which seems to be annoying Beau.

“Speaking of, where is the devilishly handsome wizard?” purrs Molly and Caleb shuffles further into the left corner, feeling his ears burn at the compliment. There is a snort from Beau.

“Devilishly handsome? Caleb? If scruffy and unfed is your type, I guess. He’s over reorganising the books somewhere.” Caleb’s embarrassment only rises at Beau’s words. He knows he’s not attractive. His hair is bright red and stringy; his face is gaunt but freckled; and his body is bony and lanky, but it still hurts a little to be so dismissed. Surprisingly, it is Yasha who challenges the comment.

“Beau, that’s not very nice. Caleb is a lovely man. He’s done a lot for you and for me.”

“Yeah… sorry, that was rude. Trying to be better at that kind of stuff, you know,” mutters Beau and Caleb glances back over at them and immediately meets Mollymauk’s eyes which were apparently trained on his back as he shuffled the books. Before he can say anything, the tiefling comes over.

“Good afternoon, Mr Caleb.”

“Ah, hallo, Mr Mollymauk. I did not know that you knew Yasha.” Molly smiles, shrugging ever so slightly.

“Known her forever. And when she suggested grabbing a coffee from here, I couldn’t pass up the chance to see you again.” Caleb tries fruitlessly to fight the blush rising in his cheeks.

“Ah, oh. I should, I should get you a coffee then, ja?” He slips away, Molly following him back over to the counter. “Hallo, Yasha.” He greets the woman quietly and she gives him a nod.

“Hello, Caleb.” He doesn’t ask Yasha for her order, knowing that Beauregard knows it by heart and has already started it.

“What can I get for you, Mr Mollymauk?”

“Oh, uh, just a white coffee. Need the caffeine today,” laughs the tiefling as Caleb nods and begins to work around Beau to complete the order. There is a not particularly comfortable silence for a few moments, punctuated only by the clattering of coffee-making. Then, Molly asks,

“Are these flowers new?” He points to the bunches of narcissi that sit on the tables that Caduceus had brought in.

“Oh, ja, Caduceus brought them yesterday. When you came earlier in the week, I had forget-me-nots and edelweiss.”

“Caduceus?” echoes Molly and Beau answers.

“Owns The Blooming Grove next door. Tall guy, firbolg. Bit of a weirdo but harmless.”

“He comes in for tea and brings me flowers for the tables. He’s a good friend. I think you will get on when we have this… Group Night, ja?”

“Oh, yeah, Yash, you coming to that?” asks Beau as she hands over Yasha’s coffee.

“Um, yes? I think Jester would be very upset if I said no. And Molly will be coming with me so that is fine.” Molly flashes Caleb a very toothy smile as he hands over his coffee. “You are both coming?” Caleb merely nods and Beau flashes a thumbs up.

“Anything for Jester.”

“She’s got us all wrapped around her little finger, you know that?” points out Molly and Caleb shrugs.

“She means well.” Caleb is worried about Group Night. Even if it is just his friends, interacting in groups always makes his stomach squirm and he really doesn’t want to make a fool out of himself in front of Mollymauk.

“We’ll have a lot of fun,” says Molly, sounding completely convinced and so Caleb just gives him a nod in response. Fun, he’s not sure about, but he will try. The other three continue to talk without his input which quickly devolves into very poor flirting between Yasha and Beauregard or playful insults between Molly and Beau. Caleb listens quietly, cleaning up the coffee machine and completing the washing-up. It’s fairly pleasant and to say that Molly has only been in Zadash for a couple of weeks, he appears to be settling in very well. At least into their ragtag band of misfits.

* * *

On Sundays, Beau opens the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ and looks after it all day. It’s Caleb’s one day off and he uses it to restock his own groceries as well as those for the café, purchase any new books he can afford and organise all of his bills. This Sunday is no different. Caleb gets up at eight am, works out his budgets and bills for the week followed immediately by heading out to the shops as soon as they are open 10 am. He restocks the coffee beans and the milk for the café, and his meagre cupboards for himself as well as purchasing two new books. As he slips into the café around midday, to restock, Beau is shouting at a customer.

“-if you don’t like our coffee, you can stick it up your ass and get out!”

“How _dare_ you speak to me like that?! Get me your manager immediately!” howls the halfing woman and Caleb gives a heavy sigh, sidling over to the counter.

“Can I help you?” he asks, quietly. The woman takes one look at Caleb’s jumper which is threadbare and the scrappy ponytail that his ginger hair is dragged into and the bandages up and down his arms which poke out of his jumper, and sneers,

“Get out of here, this isn’t your concern. This vile woman wouldn’t make me another coffee when I told her that it tasted like ground dirt. Not that you would be able to tell good coffee from that anyway.” She turns back to Beau. “Go on then, you good-for-nothing bitch, get your manager!” Caleb can see Beauregard’s fists go white with tension and he places his hand on her shoulder.

“Take a break, Beau. I’ll cover. Put the stock away.” Her teeth still gritted, she gives a cold, curt nods and stalks away. Before the woman can speak, Caleb holds up a hand.

“I am the manager. Please don’t make me throw you out of my café. What was the issue?” The woman goes quiet for a moment and then spits,

“You couldn’t throw me out if you wanted to! The coffee was disgusting, and I want a different type of coffee!”

“We only serve the one kind, ma’am. I would like you to leave please, you have been incredibly rude to me and my staff.” Caleb is surprised as to how calm and steady his voice sounds, even as his stomach twists itself in knots. She looks astounded and then she does something which Caleb isn’t expecting.

She climbs on to one of the stools at the counter which sit there for customers so that she is at his height and slaps him hard across the face. In surprise, he stumbles back, tripping over his feet and he can hear Beauregard cursing and rushing over so he holds out his hand, the fingertips blackening with flame.

“I will not ask you again, ma’am.” This time, Caleb’s voice is icy; his flames are dancing in his blood, licking at his fingers, begging to be let loose on this woman. Her face pales at the sight of his magic. It is something which is not especially common and those who do have it tend to be scholars and archmages, not café owners. Seeing that the situation is far worse than she expected, the halfling woman slips down from the stool and leaves in a huff, spitting something in Halfling back at them which Beau immediately snarls something right back at her.

But Caleb barely hears that.

The blood is rushing in his ears and the flames are still licking at his fingers and he can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t, can’t, can’t…

There is a hand on his shoulder, a gruff voice in his ear.

“Caleb, fuck. C’mon, c’mon, you gotta breathe, man. In and out, yeah?” This isn’t the first time that Caleb has had a panic attack in front of Beau, and he is very glad that she knows how to respond as she forces him to breathe in time with her.

“In. Out. In. Out. There we go… Oi, we’re at little busy right now!” she growls at a customer as Caleb hears the bell of the door ring and then again as the customer clearly takes the hint and leaves.

Slowly, reality comes back into focus and Beauregard stops sounding like she is underwater.

“Beau?” he croaks.

“Right here, man. You’re okay.” He shifts to pat her hand weakly and then struggles to his feet. When did he start sitting down? He doesn’t remember doing that. It must have happened when the panic attack kicked in. Beau frowns but doesn’t challenge him.

“Thank you, Beau. I… I should get this upstairs.” He shuffles over to the shopping bags that he abandoned when he entered but his friend is quicker.

“Nope, I’ll take them upstairs and make sure Nott looks after you today. You shouldn’t be alone.” He wants to protest but Beau is already heading up to his flat, shopping in her arms. With a sigh, he follows her up.

“Nott? Nott!”

“Yeah, Beau?” As Caleb reaches the door at the top of the stairs, he sees the glowing eyes of his goblin housemate peering out of her room.

“Caleb needs you,” grunts Beau as she starts to put away the groceries.

“Nein, I am fine,” Caleb protests, even as he slumps down on the sofa and Frumpkin immediately hops into his lap, nosing at his hands until he starts to pet him. Nott rushes out and places her green-skinned hands on his clammy face, staring into his eyes.

“What happened?” she hisses.

“Panic attack…” he mumbles, not holding her gaze. She sighs softly and rubs her fingers gently over his cheeks.

“Alright. Come on, let’s get you some tea.” He waits, quietly petting Frumpkin, as Nott goes to make him tea. Beau gives him a curt nod which is kind for her as she returns to the café to finish the day. Caleb can feel his body slowly begin to return to normal. By the time Nott brings over a steaming mug of tea, Caleb’s heart is no longer beating rabbit fast and he even manages to give her a little smile.

They treat themselves to take-out that night and Nott curls up with Caleb on the sofa whilst they watch a film on Nott’s old laptop that overheats halfway through, so they have to pause it for ten minutes. Which really, is the perfect amount of time to make more tea and popcorn so it is fine.

Caleb sleeps poorly that night, his dreams full of fire and fear and loneliness. But it is not something he is unused to...


	4. Unterhaltung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb and Nott continue to struggle to get by and Caleb continues to worry about Group Night and if it is a good idea at all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for sticking with this! My uni term is almost over so expect more updates; I have a few things planned! But also, I'm currently watching Vox Machina so I might get caught up with loving those early, early babies. 
> 
> Lots of love to you all! 
> 
> Chapter title means Conversation.

“Jester says Group Night on Friday,” says Nott in greeting on Tuesday evening as Caleb drags himself back upstairs into their little flat. “It’s at their house and there will be pizza and alcohol but also bring drinks too.”

“Oh, ja.” Caleb drags a hand down over his face, rubbing habitually at the scruffy beard on the edges of his jaw. “I had forgotten that that was happening.” He lies, but he knows that his housemate won’t think very much of the statement. Nott looks over from the sofa where she is curled up, hood pulled over her head and her ears poking out of the little slits that Caleb had carefully crafted for her.

“We are going, right?”

“Ja, ja, of course. It will be nice to see Jester and Yasha and everyone in a place that isn’t work. I shall tell Caduceus when he comes in tomorrow with flowers.” Nott nods and looks down at her phone, tapping out a response to Jester, no doubt.

“How was the café today?” she asks, not looking up as Caleb shuffles over to the kitchen to look through their cupboards and create something for dinner.

“Quiet…” sighs Caleb as he pulls out a few cans of vegetable soup. “We didn’t really make enough today but we will live, I am sure.”

“I could always get a little on the side,” Nott offers, waving her notoriously sticky fingers at him and Caleb winces.

“Maybe, _schatz,_ I do not want to get into any trouble with the law, we have had enough of that.” Nott gives a slight shrug in agreement and settles back down into the sofa as Caleb heats the soup with his carefully controlled Firebolt.

“I have work this week as well. I am sure we will survive,” points out the goblin as Caleb brings her over a bowl of steaming soup. He sits beside her, quietly eating whilst Nott picks at the soup. He knows that she much prefers meat, but they are a little low on supplies currently. They sit there together, quietly eating as Frumpkin mewls and noses at Caleb’s feet, wanting attention. He absently pets the cat, thinking about how to improve traffic in the café. Perhaps a new drink? Maybe Caduceus would have some advice on a new tea he could sell. Or some new books? He had been thinking of developing a section discussing relationships academically as well as fictionally, maybe that would be worth it?

“Caleb!” came Nott’s rasping high-pitched voice, rousing him from his thoughts.

“Ja? Sorry, _schatzi_ , I was thinking. What is it?”

“You looked very far away, are you okay?” Her big glowing eyes are fixed on him. “Do you need me to stay home from work tonight?”

“ _Was?_ Nein! Nein _,_ I am just fine, Nott, I was just thinking about ideas for the café,” he assures her, reaching out to ruffle her hair. “Go to work, I am doing okay.” Nott doesn’t seem convinced but she nods, rubbing one clawed hand over his knee comfortingly.

“If you’re sure…”

“I am, go on. Go get ready.” Nott even gives him a little kiss on his forehead before she scurries off to get ready for work. Caleb decides he will ask Caduceus for his advice when he sees him tomorrow.

* * *

 

As per expected, Caduceus comes in on Wednesday, carrying his usual wicker basket and wearing a wide-brimmed sun hat which matches the warm spring day outside.

“Good afternoon, Caleb,” he rumbles pleasantly as Caleb looks up from sorting some books.

“Good afternoon, Caduceus,” he responds, siding the last few books before heading over to take the bunches of flowers offered out to him by the firbolg. They are irises this time, bundled into small bunches with matching purple ribbons. “These are beautiful.”

“Why, thanks Caleb,” hums Caduceus as he helps to refresh the water and the flowers in the little jam jars which sit on the tables.

“Ah, there is a Group Night on Friday evening at Jester’s if you are free? Jester misses you.”

“She saw me last week?” questions the firbolg but he’s smiling. “I shall be there. Would you and Nott like a lift?” Caleb pauses for a moment. Jester’s house is within walking distance, but its over 40 minutes on foot and Caduceus never drinks anyway.

“If, if that would be okay, we would really appreciate it,” he replies and earns a warm smile in return.

“It would be my pleasure.” Caleb flashes the firbolg a smile, private but grateful, as they finish replenishing the flowers.

“There,” says Caduceus with a wide gesture. “Beautiful.”

“Ah, ja… actually, Caduceus, I have a question for you.” Caleb shifts over to the counter to begin automatically making tea for Caduceus who follows him without question.

“How can I help?” he rumbles.

“I need some advice. It’s been quiet here the last few days and I need it to pick up again. What do you suggest? Should I perhaps try a new drink? A special offer?” Caleb’s brows are furrowed as he gently boils the water for the tea.

“Mm, that is difficult… Perhaps try advertising a new drink. And change a window display? That might catch people’s eye. What sells better for you, tea or coffee?”

“Tea, mainly. We have a coffee rush in the morning, but mainly its tea.” Caleb pours Caduceus’s tea and rubs absently at his scruffy beard.

“Mmm, perhaps try a new blend? What about a flavoured black tea? Those are often lovely,” recommends the firbolg as he calmly sips at the mug Caleb has given him.

“You know more about this than me,” says the wizard and immediately Caduceus’s brows furrow.

“You should be kinder to yourself. You know far more than you give yourself credit for; you have been working at this for years.” Caleb feels the blush rise in his cheeks and he shuffles his feet slightly but doesn’t question Caduceus. He knows better than to do that.

“Black tea, ja? Flavoured perhaps with, mm, lavender, honey and liquorice?” Caleb changes the topic quickly and though Caduceus frowns, he lets it pass.

“Those are nice combinations. Advertising that and shuffling up the window displays will probably get people interested,” confirms the firbolg with a smile. And Caleb relaxes a little. He appreciates the support from his companions. Caduceus doesn’t stay much longer, finishing his tea and promising to see him that weekend at Jester’s Group Night and Caleb spends the rest of the day that he is not dealing with customers working on the blend of his tea. He is quite happy with it by the time he closes up and hopes that it will attract some more customers.

* * *

 

Incidentally, Fjord is actually the first to try the new black tea blend which Caleb has artfully called ‘Aniseed Honeybee’. He comes into the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ on Thursday afternoon, clearly swinging by after work on Jester’s insistence to see that Caleb, Nott and Caduceus are coming to Group Night the day later. The day had been steady, but Caleb still perks up when he hears the mismatched and lumbering gait of the half-orc through his door.

“Fjord!” he hums happily, getting up from the little stool that he has positioned behind the counter, to help him reach the shelves mainly. He may be tall enough at 5’10 but he really isn’t strong enough to get down items from the higher shelves without a good angle.

“Hey, Caleb,” he replies as he sweeps his golden eyes over the menu. “Not my usual today, I think.” He catches Caleb just before he begins to make the coffee and it makes the wizard give a breathy chuckle.

“Nein? What can I get you instead?”

“This new ‘un? Aniseed Honeybee, what’s that got in it?” Caleb grins a little and takes the jar of tea which he had spent all night blending and drying properly.

“It’s black tea with lavender, honey and liquorice. Nice and calming.”

“Oh, I could probably do with that, yeah. Been a long, long day.” The wizard nods understandingly and shuffles away to make the tea. “Jes wants me to check that you’re coming tomorrow.”

“Ah, ja,” Caleb says. “Caduceus is bringing us so we will all be there around 7:30 or 8 if we both get closed up on time.”

“Yeah, Ducey stays open later than you, right?”

“Ja, until 6:30, so we will be over when he is ready.”

“I’m sure that’ll be fine with Jes,” Fjord mutters as he takes a sip of the freshly brewed tea and his shoulders slump a little. “Goddamn, this is just what I need, Caleb, thanks so much. This is really great!” Caleb’s cheeks flush at the compliment and he gives the half-orc a little smile.

“Just glad it is nice.”

“Oh, hell yeah it’s nice. Gonna have to get the whole gang to try this one, you tea wizard. I’m sure Ducey will adore it. And probably the new guy Jester won’t stop going on about. Tea something? Molly Teacrisp?”

“Mollymauk Tealeaf,” cuts in Caleb immediately, feeling his cheeks continue to darken at the idea of the tiefling which he is definitely not developing a small crush on trying his tea. Fjord gives him a little grin that tells him that Fjord knew exactly what Mollymauk’s name was and Caleb’s eyes narrow.

“That’s him. I’m sure he’ll be over tomorrow too, Jes is very excited to get us all together.”

“I am sure.” Caleb gives a little huff and Fjord laughs, loud and easy like he does.

“It’ll be fun, Caleb!” teases the half-orc playfully as Caleb cleans up around him. He doesn’t respond to that. Deep down, Caleb knows he will likely have a good evening with his friends, however, his anxiety continues to flare at the idea. He will be more comfortable when he is there. Besides, most of them know the signs of him having a panic attack or getting overwhelmed and can calm him down now.

It’s nice.

It’s nice to have people he can trust with be able to work with his messed up head.

Fjord slides the cup across the counter to him and Caleb flicks out Mage Hand to catch it without a second thought, making the half-orc grin.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Caleb. Say hi to Nott for me and keep making that tea, it’s delicious!” Caleb begins his meticulous routine of cleaning up for the day as Fjord leaves, but he is focused on tomorrow, on Group Night. On his friends.

It’ll be okay, he tells himself as he wipes all of the tables down. He is going to have a nice night with his friends, and it doesn’t matter whether or not he deserves it, because they definitely do and that is what is important. And he would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit there was a little part of him that was excited to see Mollymauk and how he fits into their jumbled group of colourful misfits.

As he finishes up the cleaning for the night, Caleb feels prepared for Group Night.


	5. Gemeinsam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Group Night swings around, Caleb is a little bit excited. 
> 
> Pizza, alcohol, shitty rom-coms...
> 
> What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about how long this took, but it's nearly 4k words so I hope you forgive me with the length of this one.
> 
> Vox Machina totally took over my life, hence the Not So Subtle references in this chapter.
> 
> I have so many plans for this fic, so keep your eyes open for updates!
> 
> Title means Together

The work day of Friday passes far too quickly for Caleb’s liking. The café is busy and it keeps him on his toes all the way up to closing time. As he locks the doors behind himself at 5:30, he can already hear Nott upstairs, shuffling about excitedly in expectation of the night. Caleb inhales sharply and then heads upstairs, absentmindedly rubbing at his sleeved arms. Nott captures him the moment he steps in the door.

“Caleb!” She grabs on to his hands and yanks him inside excitedly. The wizard can feel the tips of his ears turning red as she pulls him inside, trying to shuffle back.

“Nott, I know you are excited about tonight-” he manages to get out before she huffs and rolls her big yellow eyes.

“I am, and you should be too. It will be nice to see everyone!” Caleb sighs and looks down at his plain white shirt, now slightly tea-stained from work.

“Ja, well, I had better change this shirt, ja?”

“You don’t have to, I think you look fine,” Nott says, dismissively but Caleb just shrugs and shuffles away to change into one of his more comfortable flannel shirts.

“I am more comfortable. Jester said she would get pizza, ja?”

“Yes, she said she had a voucher or something,” Nott calls back from the living room as Caleb slides into a reassuring brown-red checked shirt, dusting down his worn jeans lightly. He runs his hands over the sleeves carefully; the texture of this shirt was especially relaxing as he returns to sit on the sofa beside Nott.

“You are not embarrassed that we often cannot contribute to these events?” he asks quietly, looking very firmly at Frumpkin.

“No? Why would I… you are embarrassed,” says Nott, her voice lowering into resignation and Caleb sneaks a glance up at her.

“A little,” he admits. “Most of our friends are wealthy and, well, then there’s us…” He hears the skittering of her clawed feet across the floor and her hand on his knee.

“Don’t you dare measure yourself on that, Caleb. We might not have lots of money but we’re doing just fine. The others would not judge us for that.” The wizard peers up at her from under his hair, not quite meeting her large glowing eyes, but she had never expected him to.

“It’s just-”

“No, come on. I know you’re nervous for tonight; you’re wearing your softest shirt and you haven’t looked at me all day. It’s okay to be nervous but they’re just our friends. And if it’s too much, we can go home, you know that.”

“I know, I just… I don’t want that,” he mumbles, scratching at the insides of his arms habitually. He feels Nott’s hands atop his own instantly, stopping the clawing.

“Caleb. We don’t have to go if its too much,” she whispers to him and, definitely not for the first time, he firmly believes he doesn’t deserve the kindness that Nott constantly shows to him.

“I want to go,” he murmurs back, and she presses a motherly kiss to his cheek.

“Then we shall go and come back if we need to.” Caleb manages to flick his eyes up off the ground to Nott’s face for a second.

“Thank you…”

“It’s nothing. You’re my boy; I have to look after you.” The wizard can feel the blush tearing up his neck but Nott continues, “Now, do you want to watch cat videos on my phone until Cad comes over?” He gives a quick nod and Nott hops back up beside him, pulling out her phone to find some silly cat videos on YouTube.

* * *

 

It isn’t until they are in Caduceus’s large black, tattered sedan half way to Jester’s house that Caleb realises his hair is still in the messy bun he had tugged it into for work. He pulls out the hair-tie and runs his hands through the ginger strands, making sure no errant coffee beans had managed to fall in today.

“There, Mister Caleb,” rumbles Caduceus from the driver’s seat, glancing in his mirror at Caleb. “You look much more relaxed now.”

“I had forgotten it was tied up,” admits the wizard, flashing a half-smile to their friend, who returns it immediately.

“It suits you both ways,” says Nott firmly and Caleb flushes under her praise, something which is almost constant.

“Are, are you excited for this?” asks Caleb, to direct the attention away from himself.

“Oh, yes,” hums Caduceus casually, as they turn down the road to Jester and Fjord’s apartment. “It will be nice to see them all. And meet this new man, Mollymauk? Jester seems just thrilled about him, according to her texts.” Caleb makes a faint sound of agreement as they pull up to the apartment and takes a moment to steady himself.

It will be okay.

He will have a good time.

Jester’s hug is nearly bone-crushing, as usual and Caleb smiles a little. His skin no longer crawls when Jester hugs him; it feels natural from her now.

“Caleb! It’s so good see you! And Caduceus!” And then the blue tiefling is gone in a swirl of skirts to hug the firbolg behind him and Caleb finds himself forced slightly into the living room of Fjord and Jester’s home. The half-orc in question gives him a crooked grin from across the room, raising his hand in a gentle greeting as Caleb shuffles in, divesting his coat and scarf carefully.

“Ah, hallo, Fjord, Beau,” he says, coming over to stand by the other easily and giving the woman slight head tilt as she walks past.

As per usual, he gets a punch on the upper shoulder. A punch that would be considered to be light from Beau but it still stings. They’re getting better at working out how hard Beau can actually show affection through punches recently.

“Hey, Caleb. You doing alright? How’s that tea selling?” asks Fjord as he gestures Caleb to come sit beside him whilst Jester fusses over Nott and Caduceus in the hallway.

“Oh, good, yes. It sold well today. And I am glad you like it.”

“Might have to drink that if I come in on an afternoon with Jes, hey? Rather than all that caffeine.” Caleb nods, smiling a little.

“Ja, that would be better for you.”

“Yasha and Molly will be here soon!” chirps Jester as he comes bounding into the room with Nott and Caduceus. Nott immediately takes her usual place for these evenings, sat on the floor at Caleb’s feet. Caduceus slips into the loveseat which is one of the only seats that is large enough for his lanky form. “Then we will get pizza and watch a film!”

“Not _Tusk Love_ again, please, Jester, I swear to all the gods…” grumbles Beau and Caleb nods, huffing a little.

“Ja, we have already seen that one so much…”

“Well, luckily for you~,” Jester sing-songs and Caleb winces. This can’t be good if Jester is willing to give up watching _Tusk Love_ yet again. “I found another love film that I love so much too!” She squeals and brandishes another film in front of their gathered friends.

“What’s this one, Jes?” Fjord asks, with a hint of weariness to his tone.

“Oh my gosh, this is called _Feathered Leather_ and it’s just so beautiful, Fjord! There’s these two half-elven lovers and its so romantic!” The tiefling is cut off by a rapid knocking at the door and she bounds over, haphazardly tossing the film to Nott who catches it immediately. “Oh! That must be Molly and Yasha!” And sure enough, as Jester opens the door, Caleb can hear the lightly-accented voice of Mollymauk reciprocating her excitable greeting. He looks up at Beau quickly and finds her brushing down her shirt and changing her position every few seconds, so as to look more casual. Nott tilts her head back to give Caleb a knowing smirk as they watch Beau get flustered before Yasha has even stepped into the room. The taller woman is actually the first to enter, carrying a pack of cider and Beau straightens up.

“Hey, hi, Yasha. Um, do you want me to carry that for you? Not that you need help or anything, I just, uh, um hi.” Yasha looks somewhat shocked by the sudden discussion and Caleb hears Fjord groan quietly beside him at their antics.

“Um, no, I am fine. Shall, where shall I put them?”

“Oh, um, in the kitchen? Or maybe we should just give them out, or-”

“Just put ‘em on the table, Yasha, that’s fine,” Fjord interrupts Beau immediately before she can become anymore of a disaster. Yasha nods and flashes the others in the room a quick smile before she moves to place the drinks down. Caduceus gives a lazy wave to Yasha, as Jester and Molly enter.

Suddenly, Caleb struggles to focus on anything else.

Mollymauk is wearing extremely tight jeans, with his tail curling out of the back and long-sleeved glittery off-the-shoulder shirt which shows off the bright peacock tattoo which crawls up the left side of his face and neck. His warm blood-red eyes are accented with silver eyeliner and his hair is artfully swept over to the left and braided.

He looks stunning, ethereal, just **_perfect._**

Caleb wonders if Mollymauk Tealeaf is actually a fey creature.

“I think you have met most of the group, aside from Caduceus and Nott, right?” Jester is saying as Caleb manages to tear his eyes away from the other tiefling and feels Nott hop up from where she is sat beside his feet.

“Ah, yeah, I think so, I met Beau and Caleb at Caleb’s café,” agrees Molly as Nott sizes him up and then holds a hand out for him to shake.

“Hi,” she says curtly.

“Um, hey?” Molly replies and Jester giggles as Nott, seemingly satisfied, nods and returns to her perch to look back over the _Feathered Leather_ DVD.

“Hello, Mister Tealeaf,” rumbles Caduceus, getting up to give Mollymauk a hug which the tiefling accepts happily.

“Molly to my friends, Caduceus.”

The firbolg chuckles happily,

“Hello Molly, then. That’s nice. That’s very nice.” He returns to his seat, smiling that soothing smile and Jester bounds over to tug Fjord up so that they can go cuddle on the other sofa.

“Alright, pizza time!”

It takes them nearly twenty minutes to order pizza, due to a very heated argument that swells up, headed by Nott and Mollymauk on the ideas of anchovies as a food stuff but finally they have ordered and Mollymauk takes the last remaining seat; the one Fjord had vacated next to Caleb.

“Hello, Mister Caleb,” he says, voice low and close to Caleb’s ear so that he can hear it over the excited chattering of Jester and Nott.

“Ah, hallo, Mister Mollymauk,” Caleb replies, desperately try to wish his blush away at the tiefling’s proximity. “How are you?”

Molly's smile is playful, teasing as he adjusts himself into a comfortable spot.

"I'm very well. And how is my favourite tea-making wizard? Fjord has been telling me that you've got a new blend I should try."

Caleb glances over at Fjord, who is sat with Jester on his lap, talking to Yasha. _Meddling half-orc._

"Ah, ja, it's black tea with honey and lavender and liquorice. It's been selling well today. If you come in, I'd be happy to show you?" Mollymauk grins as Caleb speaks, his tail slipping down past Caleb's thigh to settle on the sofa.

"I'd like that. I'll definitely come in next week, so I can see you too." Caleb knows he has no chance of willing his blush away this time so he turns his head slightly, hoping Mollymauk somehow doesn't notice that he's going the same colour as his flaming red hair. He hears the tiefling give a breathy chuckle but he doesn't comment. 

"So, um, welcome to Group Night, I guess. Jester likes to have these every few weeks. Because 'oh mi gosh, Caleb, I haven't seen you in **_forever_**!" Caleb impersonates his friend as best he can but considering the way that Mollymauk immediately snorts and begins giggling, he didn't do a great job. He has never been very good at impersonations. His thick Zemnian accent tends to get in the way.

“Ah, I see. So, darling Jester is the one who organises all of these? That doesn’t surprise me at all.” Molly glances over at the other tiefling, who is lazing over Fjord’s legs as she conspires with Nott. “She is always talking about you guys, you know?”

“She is?” echoes Caleb, partially surprised but mainly not.

“Yeah,” Mollymauk hums. “She loves to chatter on at the tattoo parlour about you and Nott and Caduceus. It’s nice to finally properly meet you all together. Caduceus seems like a fun individual.” Caleb smiles as he glances over at the firbolg, a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest.

“He’s an excellent friend. I haven’t known him very long but he has been good to me and Nott,” he murmurs and Molly gently places a hand on Caleb’s leg which makes the wizard twitch but he doesn’t pull away.

“I’m glad. You seem like you certainly need people who will be good to you,” says the tiefling, his voice low and soft. Caleb opens his mouth to argue that he doesn’t deserve it when there is another knock on the door and Jester bounds up with a shout of,

“Pizza!” And Mollymauk is immediately distracted. Caleb breathes out in relief and catches Caduceus’ attention briefly. The firbolg raises one brow in a clear question.

_Are you okay?_

Caleb nods immediately, giving Caduceus a small, reassuring smile. It doesn’t appear to completely appease the firbolg, but he always was too perceptive for his own good.

* * *

 

Caleb begins to relax a little as the pizza is passed around and the drinks are opened. Nott shoves a can of cider in his hand and he accepts it without question, smiling at his housemate. As they all settle down, Jester puts on her new favourite DVD and Mollymauk curls his feet under himself on the sofa next to Caleb.

“Have you ever seen this?” Caleb asks, munching on a piece of vegetable pizza.

“This film? _Feathered Leather_? No, I don’t think so. Should be fun!” chuckles Molly, eating a slice of pepperoni pizza himself.

“Anything is better than _Tusk Love_ again,” groans Nott from on the floor at their feet and Caleb nods wholeheartedly.

“I think we have seen that film more times than the editors themselves,” mutters Caleb as the film begins to play, showing a profile of a young half-elven man with long black hair and black leather armour covered in raven feathers. Mollymauk chuckles warmly, deep in his throat and Caleb sneaks a glance at him out of the corner of his eye.

The tiefling is lazing, spread out across the back of the sofa, the low light of the television catching on his many piercings and horn jewellery. He is beautiful and Caleb is struck by it again. He lets his eyes drift over the other members of their group. The people who he had slowly learned to trust. Sure, there were some he trusted more than others, like Nott and Beau who were the only ones who knew about his past. But he trusted Caduceus and Fjord and Yasha and Jester too.

And maybe, he could learn to trust Mollymauk. They are all focused on the screen, Jester mouthing along with the words of the film as the half-elven man flirts a little with a dark-skinned human wearing purple robes and lots of gold.

He reminds Caleb a little of Mollymauk. Flashy, loud, playful, but with a softer side. The wizard hopes that there is a gentleness to the tiefling. Perhaps he will get to see it.

“He reminds me of myself,” whispers Molly into Caleb’s ear, as though reading the other’s thoughts and the wizard starts a little.

“I was just thinking that,” he replies quietly and Mollymauk gives him a sharp-toothed grin.

“Great minds think alike.”

Of course, because this is a film chosen by Jester, there are some rather explicit sex scenes. Caleb notices that Caduceus averts his gaze just like Caleb does, but it doesn’t appear to come from the same experience of shyness that Caleb has. Caduceus just does not appear interested. Jester has a habit of shushing them all, despite no one talking and its later on when Caleb is looking instead at Mollymauk’s peacock tattoo, mentally cataloguing the markings and colour shades when she hisses,

“Shh, everyone, this is the sad bit!” Caleb quickly looks back to the television in time to watch a female half-elf with fiery red hair, similar to his own, cry out for the male half-elf. He catches Beau out of the corner of his eye, scrubbing furiously at the tears in her eyes and Yasha hugging her with one arm. He looks back to Mollymauk and finds the tiefling chewing on the tips of his talons, his red eyes glistening with unshed tears. As the red-haired woman on screen collapses to her knees, sobbing, Mollymauk’s tail winds its way around Caleb’s leg. And surprisingly enough, Caleb doesn’t resist. Feeling a little brave, he gently places his hand on Mollymauk’s knee and the tiefling jerks, surprised. Immediately, like he had been burnt, the wizard went to draw his hand away, but Molly catches his hand with his own and twines their fingertips together.

Warmth blossoms in Caleb’s chest.

Oh no.

**_Oh no._ **

It may have been some time since Caleb has been romantically involved with anyone, but he remembers this feeling.

He has one hell of a crush on Mollymauk Tealeaf.

* * *

 

As the film draws to a close, leaving Beau, Jester and Molly to hastily wipe away their tears, Caleb realises he hasn’t let go of Mollymauk’s hand.

And he doesn’t really want to. _Just for tonight,_ he tells himself. _Just for now, we can pretend that we deserve him in some parallel reality where I am not the garbage human that I am._

“Wasn’t that romantic?” gushes Jester, fake swooning back into Fjord.

“I didn’t realise it was going to be sad!” whines Nott and Caleb realises that she is rubbing her own eyes. He reaches down with his hand and gently ruffles her hair affectionately.

“But he loved her so much!” insists Jester and she and Nott immediately get into a desperate debate about the beauty of love.

“Did you like it?” Mollymauk asks quietly into Caleb’s ear and the wizard shivers at the feeling of his breath.

“Ah, ja. I was not expecting it to be so, um, saddening? Is that the correct word? At the end though.”

“Sorrowful? Melancholy?” suggests the tiefling.

“Ah, ja, sorrowful, that is the word,” Caleb agrees, flushed at the mistake in his Common. Mollymauk doesn’t seem to mind.

“What would the word be in Zemnian?”

“ _Traurig_ would be the closest, but it is not… exact, I guess.”

“ _Traurig_ ,” muses Mollymauk and Caleb smiles at the truly awful pronunciation. “You sound very attractive when you are speaking Zemnian, you know.” The wizard’s eyes go wide and he begins to stutter out his denial when Molly laughs. “No, no! You do. You do.” His red eyes are soft and inviting as he raises their joined hands to press a light kiss to the back of Caleb’s hand. “I would not lie to you, Mister Caleb.”

“And I would not lie to you, Mister Mollymauk,” the wizard manages in return, his voice faint. Then, Caduceus chuckles and the moment is broken. Mollymauk looks away and Caleb burrows his face into his collar, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks.

“Thank you, Miss Jester, for this. But I think that me, Miss Nott and Mister Caleb should get home. Mister Caleb and I have work in the morning.”

“You do?” asks Molly, carefully relinquishing their hands and Caleb flushes, nodding sheepishly, a part of him desperately want to go back to holding Mollymauk’s hand.

“Ja. The _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ is open 7 days a week.”

“Wow, that’s quite the commitment.”

“Well, Beauregard helps on Saturdays and runs the café on Sundays, so I can do my other chores,” he explains as Nott hops up to go get her shoes. “But ja, thank you, Jester,” Caleb addresses their hosts, with a small smile. “This has been very lovely.”

“You know, you’re always welcome here,” says Fjord in his comforting southern drawl and Jester nods.

“Yes, you all are! But we should definitely do more Group Nights! I’ll make sure to text you all, except Caleb, of course, who never looks at his damn phone,” she teases and Caleb huffs, stepping out of the room to grab his scarf and coat.

“Text Nott if you want me, or come to the bookstore,” he replies, as is usual now whenever it is brought up that Caleb never uses his phone.

“Yeah, yeah,” replies Jester. “Get home safe and we’ll see you soon!”

“Bye, Jester, bye everyone!” chirps Nott, waving as she laces her boots and Caduceus waves, smiling in that easy way of his.

Caleb gives everyone a quick wave, his eyes lingering on Mollymauk for a second longer than everyone else, before the three of them leave and get back into Caduceus’s car.

 _By all the gods beyond the Gate, I’m completely and utterly fucked,_ he thinks as they drive home.


	6. Schleichend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mollymauk makes good on his promise to come see Caleb for tea and Caleb struggles to deal with nightmares of his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! Thank you guys so much for all of your really kind words! I appreciate it all!
> 
> I really hope that you guys stick with me as this continues to run away from me more than I ever expected but hey.  
> Also big thank you to anyone who read my Percahlia oneshot because that ship wormed its way into my heart Very Quickly
> 
> CN: Nightmares and accidental self harm in this chapter as well as panic responses. To avoid, stop reading at 'The nightmare that Caleb has that night throws that logic out of the window' and pick back up again at '“Thank you,” he whispers when she is done, and she gives him a warm smile.'  
> Please take care of yourselves!
> 
> Chapter title means Tiptoeing!

True to his word, Mollymauk comes to visit the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ on Tuesday, late in the day at precisely 5:02pm according to Caleb’s clock. Today, the café has been steady, but Caleb has been on edge all day. Nightmares of his past have been plaguing him more than usual recently and it has left him nervous and twitchy. As the small bell above the door chimes, Caleb jerks in surprise and gets up. There stands Mollymauk, his dark purple hair braided down his back and he is wearing casual clothes, black jeans and a patterned turquoise shirt which a little part of Caleb’s brain chimes in, makes his tattoos look incredible.

“Molly, Mollymauk,” says Caleb, a small smile on his face as he fiddles with his sleeve absently. “It is good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too, darling,” Molly replies, sidling up to the counter and his red eyes crinkle slightly as he looks him up and down. “You look tired.”

“Ah, it is nothing. Just a late night,” Caleb lies immediately, and he notes the way that Mollymauk’s brows furrow. The tiefling places his hands on the counter and Caleb smiles a little at the pearly iridescent colour that Molly’s talons are painted.

“I see. Well, um, can I get one of these lovely teas I have been hearing about from Fjord?” Mollymauk seems a little unsure but he gives Caleb a warm smile.

“Oh, Aniseed Honeybee? Ja, of course. One moment.” Caleb turns away, glancing over at the empty café with a smile as he flicks his finger, creating his usual Firebolt.

“Do you always use magic to work like that?” asks Molly, lazing on the counter somewhat. “It’s so… I don’t know, I’ve never seen anyone use magic in the way you do. I mean, I’ve seen Jester use her magic and heal people or play tricks, but it always takes like, consideration. You just do it?” Caleb can feel the flush creep up his neck quickly and he shrugs a little.

“I, um, it is habit, I suppose? I have always used my magic like this, to keep things functioning. I trust it more than technology. Though, Beauregard did manage to pester me into getting a coffee maker because that is easier to create that way. When it comes to tea, this is just as fast, if not faster than electricity.”

What Caleb doesn’t say is that he fears his own magic just as much as he trusts it. What Caleb doesn’t say is that relied upon his magic for so many years that he doesn’t know where to go beyond it. What Caleb doesn’t say once upon a time he was only ever seen as his magic, not a person.

Mollymauk grins.

“It’s certainly something to behold,” purrs the tiefling as Caleb pours the boiling water in a mug with the tea leaves to allow it steep. The wizard can feel the flush crawl rapidly up the side of his neck and he gives a little shrug.

“Thank, thank you.”

“Hey, um,” Molly flashes Caleb a slightly wicked smirk. “Make yourself a drink. Come and sit with me, whilst the café is quiet?” Caleb pauses for a second, mulling it over. He would be closing soon anyway, and it is unusual for people to come in so late. He acquiesces without words, merely moving to brew himself a cup of his favourite assam-based black tea. And, out of the corner of his eye, he sees Mollymauk beams at Caleb’s choice.

“Find somewhere to sit, I will be over in a moment,” replies Caleb lightly as he passes Molly’s drink over to him.

“I knew you would agree,” says the tiefling as he winks, taking his mug of steaming tea over to one of the chairs by the window. Caleb stalls a little, taking longer than usual to brew his tea as he tries to pluck up the courage to go over and join Mollymauk who is now lazing all over one of his high-backed arm chairs, like a particularly decadent monarch.

Gods, he is beautiful in the evening sun.

Finally, Caleb can avoid it no longer and he shuffles over, to take the chair opposite Mollymauk, folding in on himself as Molly both figuratively and literally takes up space.

“So, Mister Caleb,” Mollymauk purrs, taking a long sip of his tea. “How have you been in the few days since I saw you last?”

“Me? Ah, ja, I have been well. It has been fairly relaxed here. A comfortable level of busyness but nothing bad. What, what about yourself?” Mollymauk shrugs slightly.

“The tattoo parlour has been fine, nothing stressful. I did some lovely work on another tiefling yesterday, very dark and gothic. It was a lot of fun.” Caleb hides his smile by taking a sip of his tea as Molly rearranges himself on the chair. “Fjord was completely right; this tea is excellent.” And there is no hiding the blush that hits Caleb’s face at that. The tiefling’s red eyes go soft and playful and he doesn’t push.

“I am glad you like it.”

The conversation flows better than Caleb could have possibly hoped for. He tells Mollymauk about his love for cats; about how he speaks Sylvan; about how Nott and he like to bake cakes which taste great but look _terrible._ In return, Molly tells him about being able to read tarot cards; about the odd intricacies of Infernal as a language; about the wide range of flowers that he has tattooed on people’s bodies. The time passes easily and Caleb is barely paying attention to it until there is a patter of footsteps and they both look up to see Nott burst into the café from the little staircase in the back of the kitchen.

“Caleb! I, oh…”

“Nott, schatz?” Caleb asks, turning to look at her with a furrowed brow. “Is something wrong?”

“No, just… It’s late and I got worried that something had happened,” she explains and Caleb pauses. According to his internal clock, it’s around 6:30 and his eyes go wide.

“Oh, _schatzi_! I am so sorry, I just, Mollymauk and I, we were talking and I did not realise.” He stands up and Nott skitters over to look up at them. Beside him, the tiefling stands too.

“Oh, Nott, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry by stealing away your dear boy, we just got distracted talking,” Molly says, and he looks genuinely apologetic, scratching sheepishly just behind his left horn. Nott gives him one of her signature distrustful looks, but she doesn’t say anything.

“We were just talking, and I was not paying attention. I am sorry for worrying you.” Caleb bends down to embrace her and Nott accepts the hug with a small huff.

“It’s okay. Just, don’t do it again?”

“I won’t,” he promises, ruffling her hair ever so slightly. Out of the corner of his eye, he watches Mollymauk shuffle to the door sheepishly.

“I’m truly sorry, Nott. Thank you again for the lovely tea, Caleb. Will I see you later this week?”

“I will be here the whole time,” Caleb replies truthfully with a smile which the tiefling returns immediately.

“Then I will certainly come back to get more tea,” he promises. And then, Mollymauk is gone with a smile, a flick of his lavender tail and the quiet chime of the bell above the door. Nott looks up at Caleb.

“You like him.” It’s statement, unquestionable but open enough to invite conversation. Caleb is quiet for a long moment before he nods ever so slightly.

“I do like him.” Nott grins, her crooked teeth so comforting for him now.

“Good. You are allowed to like him, Caleb. You’re allowed to have nice things. Now, come on, let’s eat, I have work soon.” As the wizard follows his goblin housemate back up the stairs, those words play on his mind.

He is allowed to have nice things.

He is allowed to like Mollymauk.

Despite everything he has done, which Nott knows all about, she thinks he deserves to have good things. And that has to count for something.

The nightmare that Caleb has that night throws that logic out of the window.

* * *

 

_It’s so dark, his eyes straining against the inevitable blackness, the consuming void when he hears the voice. The voice of Trent Ikithon._

_“Come along now, Bren. Prove to me your worth. Prove you have what it takes to destroy traitors and enemies to our home.”_

_Then, there is light. Bright, red and orange firelight, glowing in front of him in his hands, illuminating two figures in front of him._

_His parents._

_They are mere silhouettes against the fire dripping from his fingertips and there is Trent’s voice again, the man who had kidnapped him; brainwashed him; raised him in his terrifying doomsday cult to the New Gods._

_“Obey, Bren. Prove your worth to me.” And, unbidden, the fire jumps from his hands, engulfing his parents and he hears them scream._

_He hears them scream like he did so many years ago._

_And he screams too._

Caleb falls straight out of bed, his voice hoarse but he continues to scream, grasping at his hair, clawing at his arms, desperate to feel something, anything that wasn’t the crushing fear and self-hatred.

There is a familiar mewl and Frumpkin pushes into Caleb’s lap, but he’s too distraught to do much but wail and claw and tremble.

Footsteps in the hallway and Nott bursts in, but Caleb can barely see her, only knows it her from the familiar sound of her clawed feet on the wooden floors.

“Caleb, Caleb!” She’s pulling at his hands now and he tries to stop screaming, forcing the wounded sound in his throat to an animalistic whimper as she grasps his wrists, pressing against him. “Caleb, it’s okay, I’m here, you’re safe, it’s okay.”

“Nein, nein, ich werde dir weh tun, ich will nicht, nein,” he whimpers, unable to draw himself together enough to speak Common and not his native Zemnian.

“It’s okay, Caleb, it’s okay, I’m here,” Nott reassures him, still holding tightly on to his wrists as he weakly struggles in her grasp. He could probably break free if he wanted to, but he really doesn’t right now. He gags and retches weakly, his body desperate for air after his consistent screaming but Nott doesn’t flinch away. He can feel her fingers gently massaging the pulse point on his wrists and it helps a little as he finally manages to draw breath.

“Nott…” he sobs faintly as she presses closer to him.

“I’m here, Caleb, I’m right here. You’re safe. You’re in your room in our flat above your shop. Can you tell me the time?” Caleb reels. The time is something he has always known but his mind is so scattered and disparate at this moment he doesn’t even know where to begin.

“The time, Caleb?” Nott prompts gently and the wizard inhales. She’s trying to help, trying to get him to focus on something he knows, something real to tie him down but he can’t think, and it only makes him give a faint sob. “Okay, okay, something easier. Can you tell me the name of the man who works next door?”

Now, that is something Caleb does know.

“Caduceus. Caduceus Clay, owner of the Blooming Grove Flower Shop,” he whispers, his voice hoarse.

“Good,” says Nott, her voice still carefully level and she hasn’t let go of his wrists. “Who invited us over for Group Night last week?”

“Jester Lavorre and Fjord Tough. Our friends.” It’s helping. Bit by bit, Caleb can feel his mind relax, the fire burning in it creeping back to the edges and the desire to vomit fades.

“Last question. Who kept you talking late in the shop today?”

“Mollymauk Tealeaf. And… the time is around 4:30 am,” he manages, finally and he catches out of the corner of his eye, Nott’s face relaxes into a smile.

“Good, good. There we go, Caleb. There we go. Now, we need to get you cleaned up and back into bed. I’m going to call Beau in a bit and see if she can cover the shop for the morning.”

“Nein, nein, I am okay, I can do it,” Caleb protests as the goblin realises his wrists but takes his hands to guide him up to standing. His head swims immediately and he staggers which probably doesn’t help his case and when his vision returns to him, Nott is scowling in that motherly fashion she has.

“No, Caleb. You are not opening the shop tomorrow morning. Not before 11 o clock at least. You need to rest and take care of yourself. Either you open at 11 or I will call Beau and get her to open.” Caleb pauses. He needs the money of the café open but also, he doesn’t want Beau to know how bad he is. Nor does he want her to have to miss her own job at the gym to look after him. Maybe he can negotiate a bit.

“I will open at 8 o clock?”

“No. 11.”

“Okay, well, at least give me 9:30, bitte, Nott,” he wheedles and her yellow eyes narrow.

“10:30, not a moment before.” He sighs, knowing this is fight he is not going to win and acquiesces with a slight nod. She is right; he needs the rest. Caleb has been so focused on his argument that he hasn’t noticed them move until Nott has him sitting on the toilet seat as she scrambles up to grab the first aid kit from the cupboard above the sink.

It’s only then he notices the blood on his arms. In his fit of helpless desperation, it appears he has clawed long gashes into the pale skin of the underside of his arms and he look at them faintly.

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh,” huffs Nott as she hops down, retrieving an antiseptic wipe and a roll of soft white bandages from the box. “You need to rest and take tomorrow to be careful, okay?” With all the gentleness of a mother, she cleans the blood from his arms. Caleb has nothing to say so he just nods as Nott bandages up his arms.

“Thank you,” he whispers when she is done, and she gives him a warm smile.

“You are my boy. I look after you. And now, you need rest. Would you like me to stay?” The question is posed without judgement, and Caleb cannot find enough words to thank her for it. He would have never asked her to stay with him himself, but he needs to know she would be there if he has another nightmare.

“Bitte, if you could?” he asks softly, and she gets on her tiptoes to kiss his forehead.

“Of course. I’ll just go change out of my work clothes. You should put on a clean shirt and go back to bed, okay?” He nods and it is easy, calming, to follow her direction. He shuffles back into his room and Frumpkin hops off the bed to curl around his ankles reassuringly. Moments of fairly mechanical movements later, Caleb is in bed, a clean sleep shirt on and Frumpkin settled beside his head again. Nott peeks her head in and slips over to get into Caleb’s narrow bed. The single bed is a bit of a squeeze but Nott is small, and Caleb is a string-bean of a wizard so it is not terrible.

“Danke, Nott,” he whispers into the darkness as they settle down together.

“You are always welcome,” comes the reply and Caleb lets himself drift off into an easier sleep than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My German is a little rusty so blame dict.cc for poor translations but the German reads: 'No, no, I will hurt you, I don't want to, no'.  
> Thank you to Ser_Aedan for the corrections to my German!!
> 
> Thank you again!


	7. Sorge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb's friends are perceptive and it is something that Caleb both hates and appreciates.
> 
> They worry after his bad night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Hope you like this addition, it's a lot of Caleb comfort because we all need that. 
> 
> Also sorry about the name change, had been meaning to do it for aaaages.
> 
> Hope you are all having a lovely day~
> 
> Title means Worry

Caleb wakes slowly the next morning. It’s late when he wakes, around 9 o clock and Nott is still fast asleep beside him. He gives a small, careful smile down beside her as he slips out of bed to begin his usual day.

Showering stings that morning, the hot water catching on the scratches on his arms, but he doesn’t make a sound. He feels odd after his nightmare, like he has been hollowed out and refilled with cotton. As he stands under the hot water, his head tilted back, he sighs heavily. Whilst he doesn’t want to admit it, he is glad that Nott made him stay in bed today. He does feel muzzy and uncomfortable, but he knows he has to work. Frumpkin slinks around his legs as he dresses, mewling and Caleb shushes him softly as they slip out of the room that Nott is still sleeping in.

Caleb still goes through his usual routines, making himself tea and a little toast before he heads down into the café. It feels weird to be opening up so late and he heads over to the door as there is a note taped to it. He takes it down gently and turns it over to read it. It’s Nott’s handwriting, the comforting scrawl that he is used to.

**_Sorry, we are closed until 10:30. Caleb is unwell and needs his rest. Very sorry for the inconvenience._ **

He smiles a little at the wording and flips the sign on the door to **OPEN!** as he takes the note down. Caleb heads back over to counter, starting up the coffee machine and with a sigh. By the time he has managed this and opened up the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ , it’s close to around 10 am according to his internal clock. It’s a little early, considering Nott’s warning but he knows that she will forgive him for this. He has slept enough. It surprises him when the grey tiefling who he had seen a few times comes over the door around 15 minutes later and Caleb perks up.

“Oh, hallo, meine Freund,” he says with a small smile. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Hello, sir,” replies the tiefling with a smile as they head over to the counter immediately. “Yes, I’m sorry, I’ve been busy with work, but I came past earlier, and I saw you were closed. Are you well?”

“Oh, ja. I had a rough night, but I am okay. Need the cash, you understand that I am sure?” The tiefling chuckles.

“Ah, yes, I do.”

“What can I get for you, my friend? And, ah, would it be okay if I asked your name? I like to know my regular customers.” Caleb can feel the blush rise up his cheeks as he awkwardly stumbles over the words.

“Oh, oh, of course. Can I have an iced latte please? And I’m Ebil, Ebil Nowhere,” they reply with a smile as they move to get their wallet out of their pocket.

“Of course, one iced latte coming up. It’s lovely to meet you Ebil, I am Caleb, as I guess you might know now.” Ebil chuckles, running a hand through their dark hair.

“Yes, I put that together with the note on the door. It is nice to know your name too, after I have decided that this is my favourite coffee shop.” Caleb gives a small smile to himself at the praise as he continues to work on the iced latte.

“Well, I am glad you like it here, Ebil,” he replies quietly as he moves to hand over the coffee and take the change from the tiefling.

“I definitely do. Do you mind me taking a little while to sit and read?”

“Not at all,” Caleb replies with a small hand wave. “Take all the time you like, Ebil. You are always welcome here.”

“Thank you,” they reply with a warm smile as they slip over to their usual spot by the window. Caleb is just getting into the routine of cleaning up when the door flies open and Caduceus comes hurrying in, almost banging his head on the door frame.

“Cad-” he manages before the firbolg has crossed the floor to his side and is looking at him with a deep frown.

“I saw the note,” explains Caduceus in his deep, rumbling tone. “Why did you not call? If you are unwell, Caleb, I could have come over and helped.” The firbolg’s fingers are twitching at his sides and Caleb can see he is trying to resist reaching over to touch him. And all that it takes is a slight nod from the wizard to dispel that fear as suddenly there are soft, furred hands against Caleb’s cheeks, checking his pupils.

“I am okay, Caduceus,” he protests faintly, but allows his friend to continue his check. “Unwell is not, ah, the best term to use. I had a rough night and Nott decided that I needed more sleep and time to get my head back together.” Instantly, Caduceus’s demeanour changes, shifting into cautious movements.

“Oh,” he says, his voice low. “I am sorry. Is there anything I can do?” And Caleb can’t help the little smile that crosses his face. Caduceus is simply so perceptive; he knows Caleb far too well for anything to be hidden. Caleb gives a little shrug.

“Nein, I don’t think so. It is just one of those things, I suppose,” he admits softly. Caduceus shifts back slightly, removing his hands from Caleb’s face.

“You know you don’t have to be here. You should be careful and regain your strength.” The wizard shakes his head with a soft sigh.

“I need the money. I am sure you understand that.” And Caduceus nods, but his brow is still furrowed.

“Okay. Well, may I have a cup of tea and get yourself one too, okay?” Caleb chuckles and nods, casting Firebolt with a flick of his fingers before he moves over to get out his tea.

“Tea preference?” he asks quietly, and he hears a faint rumbling hum in response; the sound that Caleb has come to associate with ‘anything is good’ and so the wizard makes two cups of chamomile tea. He could certainly use the calming nature of the tea, almost consistently at this point.

“I see your friend is back,” says Caduceus in a low whisper, looking over at Ebil Nowhere sat curled up in their chair.

“Oh, ja. It is good to see them again. We have exchanged names and everything.” That makes Caduceus smile, slow and calming.

“Good. You need more friends.” Caleb doesn’t say anything in response to that, merely focuses on brewing the tea correctly. They stand in companionable silence for a short while until Caleb hands over their teas and Caduceus says,

“Did something happen to trigger last night?” The wizard startles a little, clutching tightly to his cup of chamomile.

“I, I don’t know. I have been having worse nightmares recently. But last night… I, uh, it was very bad,” he says, so quietly, he can barely hear himself speak. “It was bad. Nott, um, she, Nott, she helped.” Almost instinctively, Caleb takes a sip of the tea which burns the roof of his mouth, but it stops him from stumbling over his words.

“Caleb. You know any of our friends would be there for you, yes?” says Caduceus, his voice grave. “You just have to let us.” Caleb doesn’t respond to that. He knows that he doesn’t deserve the love of his friends; he has done far too much wrong in this world for that. But he also doesn’t want to argue with Caduceus. The firbolg sighs softly and takes a long hard look at the wizard. But he doesn’t push the point and Caleb thanks all of the gods for that. Caduceus begins to talk about what jobs he is working on currently and the usual nature of the conversation and the way Caduceus’s warm rumbling tones sound whilst discussing flowers makes him feel a little more comfortable. But soon, they have both finished their tea and the firbolg starts to look restless.

“I should return to the Blooming Grove… You will be okay?”

“Ja, I am okay, Caduceus. I will be fine. Go, you have work to do.” Caduceus sighs.

“Do you promise you will call if something goes wrong? I know you don’t use the landline here much but you can always call. Let me…” The Firbolg trails off as he moves over to the fairly new landline phone that Nott insists Caleb keeps close-by in the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ in case of emergencies. It has three numbers currently saved in its speed-dial; the emergency services, Nott’s mobile and Beauregard’s mobile. Caduceus moves over and pokes his own number into the phone.

“There. I am saved under speed-dial 4. You promise you will call if you need anything?” he presses. Caleb nods, smiling a little.

“I promise. Danke, Caduceus.” The only response he gets is a warm, slow smile.

“Good day, Mister Caleb. I hope it is better than your night.” And with that, Caduceus Clay slips out of the café and Caleb sighs a little. Cad was always far too insightful for his own good.

* * *

Ebil leaves not long after Caduceus does, with a grin and a promise that they will be back. Caleb keeps up with his slow stream of customers in the café when something suspicious happens.

Fjord comes in on his lunch break.

It’s very rare that the half-orc comes to see him because he doesn’t get much time on his lunch breaks. Fjord tends to spend that time with Jester or his co-workers. So, as soon as he lumbers in, favouring his right leg as usual, Caleb knows that either Nott or Caduceus has spoken to other members of their friendship group.

“Fjord, hallo. What can I get for you?” The ex-navy sailor gives a crooked smile in greeting as he comes over to the counter.

“One of your Aniseed Honeybee teas, if you wouldn’t mind, Caleb.” The wizard nods and immediately gets to it.

“So…” says Fjord and Caleb winces, waiting for the interrogation that he is sure will come next. “You know we all care for you, right?”

“Was?” Caleb asks, flummoxed.

“Everyone in our little group of friends, family, whatever you want to call it, we all care about you. And it’s okay if you’re not okay, but you can talk to us.” There are other customers in the café and Caleb is suddenly fighting back emotion that threatens to drown him. He can’t start crying now, he can’t break but Fjord sounds so sincere and gentle.

“I know,” he manages to say. The half-orc smiles and takes the cup of hot tea from Caleb’s trembling hands.

“It’s okay, I get it. It’s hard to admit to yourself that you need help. But it is fine, Caleb, we are here to help.”

“How, um, how did you know I was bad?” Caleb asks as he busies himself cleaning up. Fjord looks a little sheepish, but he answers.

“Caduceus said. And Nott had said earlier that you had had a rough night.” All the wizard can do is nod in response to that. It is true after all, but he is now absolutely certain that his friends are keeping an eye on him. And, surprisingly, it doesn’t feel bad or uncomfortable in the way he thought it would.

“I did,” he admits, looking down at his hands and scratching habitually at the bandages on his arms.

“Well. We are here to help. All of us.” Caleb looks up at Fjord who gives him a relaxing smile and he nods.

“Danke, Fjord.”

“You are welcome, Caleb.” The bell over the door chimes as a few customers step in and Fjord steps away to allow Caleb to work. And by the time the wizard has finished dealing with his customers, the ex-navy sailor is gone, the mug left on the counter for Caleb.

And it makes the wizard smile.

His friends were trying to help in all the ways they could.

* * *

That night as Caleb closes up and heads upstairs, it is to the smell of pizza cooking.

“Nott??” he calls. The day has felt uncomfortably long and now as he heads upstairs, Caleb can feel the darkness, the flames at the corner of his mind and the constant itch in his arms.

“In here, Caleb!” He hears Nott’s shrill voice call and he steps into their little kitchen/living room cross to see his goblin housemate checking on a pizza in their little electric oven. She turns to look at him and gives a smile that is always reassuring despite her crooked and misaligned goblinoid teeth.

“You are cooking?” he asks. It is not often that Nott cooks. Caleb is merely better at it and he doesn’t mind doing it, so it is just a habit they have fallen into.

“You need the rest. And I know you will insist I still go to work tonight, so I can at least look after you until 9 o clock, right?” He doesn’t know what to say in response to that. The demons in his head are screaming that he doesn’t deserve Nott’s kindness, doesn’t deserve this; he has done such terrible, unforgivable, irreparable things-

“Caleb?” Nott’s voice cuts his spiral off sharply. “Beau offered to come stay the night. Would you like that? She doesn’t have work until late tomorrow, so she is coming to help out at the café. But she said she will be here tonight if you need her.” Caleb manages to shake his head and walks over to Nott, feeling once again like he is made of cotton wool, not flesh and blood.

“Nein,” he says and his voice cracks on the word. “Nein, I am, I am okay. Thank you. I… Thank you.” Nott gives him a big smile and wraps her little arms around his knees, hugging him tightly.

“It is okay, Caleb. Just looking out for you.” He ruffles her hair as he feels Frumpkin curl around his ankles and it helps. It helps just a little bit knowing he has people who care.

Nott and Caleb eat pizza curled up on the sofa and she never once complains though they spend several hours watching cat videos on her phone because it gives Caleb something else to focus on. When comes close to 9 o clock, she gets up and kisses his forehead.

“Back in a second.” He watches as she hurries down into the closed café and she returns, moments later, with the landline phone in her hand.

“Nott, I…”

“No. I want you to keep this with you tonight. Call Beau or me or Caduceus if you have another nightmare. I need to know you are safe.” Caleb nods, taking the phone carefully from her.

“I will, I promise. But, you, you have to go to work.”

“I do, but I will come back if you need. I swear.”

“Danke, Nott,” is all he says in response and she kisses his cheek gently in reply.

“Get some rest, Caleb. I will see you in the morning.” Without saying anything, he watches her leave, giving her a slight wave as she heads out, to work.

Caleb goes to bed early that night. He doesn’t sleep though, he just lays there, staring at the ceiling for hours on end, listening to the usual rumble of Frumpkin’s snores beside him. When he does finally fall asleep, it is jagged, broken up with flashes of Trent Ikithon’s face which jolt him back into wakefulness. There are several moments where he looks at the phone on the beside table, but he doesn’t know what good calling his friends would do. He hasn’t had another nightmare, per say, he rationalises. He just hasn’t slept well either.

And the wizard’s broken sleep continues until around 4:30 am when he hears Nott come shuffling in back from work. She only takes moments to undress before she comes and curls up beside him like she did the night before.

And that helps him get a solid hour of sleep before he has to wake for the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I have a thing for eccentric tiefling names: looks at my tiefling bard DnD character, Argetinium Rosewood...
> 
> Also when I told my friend about Caleb making friends with Ebil, she replied #giveCalebMoreFriends2k19 and wow that's really a big mood


	8. Vertrauen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb still doesn't feel okay; he feels shaken and afraid and lost and alone.
> 
> But he's definitely not alone.  
> And his friends make sure to remind him of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you enjoy this addition. I mean, I couldn't not add my favourite non-binary half-elf, could I? 
> 
> Yes, the rating has gone up because Caleb is getting a little heated, not sure if this will end up smutty or not in the future? Guess we have to find out.
> 
> Thank you so much for all your support!!
> 
> Chapter title means Trust

As promised, Beauregard is there at 6:30 am. She looks unhappy as Caleb lets her in, but at the sight of the wizard, still somewhat bedraggled and exhausted, her face softens a little.

“Hey. You alright?” she asks, as brusque as ever as she slips inside the café, over to the counter.

“Nein, I don’t think I am. But things have to be done,” he replies, his voice small and accent thicker than usual this morning. Beau nods as she settles into her routine of setting up all the coffee machines.

“Take as many breaks as you need. I’m here until 4, then I have to go run karate,” she grunts, and Caleb manages a nod. The fuzz is worse today. He feels like he is made of cotton wool now, so vulnerable and easy to rip, to destroy, to catch fire…

There are flames, flames licking at his fingertips and dancing up and down his arms, scorching the cotton he is made from, burning him from the inside out and as he inhales all he can taste is smoke and soot and ash and-

“Caleb!” Beauregard’s voice jolts him, and he shudders, looking down at his hands which are usual, slightly soot-stained skin, no fire.

“Ja?” he croaks out.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” There is concern in her voice, hidden beneath the layers of disapproval and distance and coldness. Caleb glances over as a small rush of workers hurry in, looked harried from the spring showers which have drenched them on their way to work.

He can do this.

“Ja. We, we will just have to do tea another way.” Beau nods and reaches down to pull out her bagpack, stowed under the counter.

“Brought this, just in case,” she says gruffly as she pulls out a small plastic kettle and there is a rush of gentle affection through Caleb’s chest. He is lucky to have such supportive friends. He gives a small nod and turns to make orders as Beauregard deals with the customers. He’s much more useful doing this section, especially when his head is like this. The rush is a little longer than usual for a Thursday, but the miserable weather tends to draw people into his little shop. When they finally get a dip in custom, Beau turns to him.

“You should take a nap.”

“Can’t,” Caleb grunts. “I won’t sleep.” Beau fixes him with one of her familiar, stubborn looks but Caleb can be just as stubborn, and he glowers right back.

“For fuck’s sake, Widogast, at least go lie down. Just for half an hour. Go,” she growls and after another minute of intense staring, Caleb acquiesces. He huffs but heads up the little stairwell in the back of the kitchen, up to the meagre living room/kitchen area to lie down on the sofa. And for his worries, he was clearly exhausted as he passed out moments after he lay on the moth-eaten, lumpy sofa.

Caleb doesn’t sleep well. He is awoken maybe thirty minutes later with Trent Ikithon’s words running through his mind,

_End the traitors, Bren. Watch them burn, as they should._

He can feel his breath coming in sharply and his head swimming, but he sits up carefully on the sofa as he runs through a few exercises in his head. It is Thursday. Beauregard is minding the café. It’s approximately 9:15. He lives with Nott the Brave. He has a cat named Frumpkin. His name is Caleb Widogast. He is not Bren Aldric Ermendrud. He is Caleb Widogast. And slowly, Caleb takes a deep breath in, shuddering a little. Slowly, his mind relaxes, and he forces his limbs to respond as he gets up so he can slink downstairs. Beauregard is stood at the counter, cleaning up slightly.

“Oh, Caleb,” she grunts as she sees him come in. “You don’t look better, honestly.” Caleb shrugs a little. “Nightmares still bad?”

“Yeah, they don’t just go away,” he mutters, and she just ruffles his hair ever so slightly.

“I know,” she says, quietly but then immediately gives him a punch in his left arm to oppose her slight appearance of softness. It isn’t a hard punch for her but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt. Before Caleb can think up a response, the door opens and several workers run in before they have to be at work, so they suddenly have to deal with customers.

* * *

The day passes torturously slow, but around 4:30, just after Beauregard leaves, a friend that Caleb has not seen in some time enters. Bryce Feelid, a half-elven member of the local law enforcement, has always frequented the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ right from the beginning when it was opened three years ago and here, they are today. They smile warmly as they step up to the counter.

“Caleb Widogast, it is good to see you.”

“Ah, Bryce, it is excellent to see you too. You haven’t been around much recently.” Bryce gives a little shrug, as they stand tall in their polished uniform.

“I was in Alfied for a little while on business, but I am back now. Ah, do you still remember my usual?” There is a light teasing in their tone; they know that Caleb has a perfect memory.

“You know I do,” Caleb chuckles, turning around to make Bryce’s latte with slightly less milk than usual.

“How have you been, Caleb? Resting enough?” Caleb winces a little as Bryce narrows their eyes.

“I have been,” he tries but Bryce huffs a little.

“It doesn’t look very much like it. You have large bags under your eyes, and you are standing somewhat stooped.” Bryce’s eyes are far too piercing, and Caleb can feel his ears heating up as he turns around to hand over the latte.

“I have been having nightmares,” he admits with a small shrug. “But I have not been overworking myself, I assure you. Nott and Beauregard have been keeping an eye on me.” Bryce nods, taking a sip of their coffee.

“I trust them. They also message me when they can, so I know they have been keeping an eye on you.”

“Do all of my friends message each other to keep an eye on me?” mutters Caleb, mainly to himself but Bryce has sharp hearing, toned to make sure they catch criminal activity and apparently Widogasts being self-deprecating.

“Should we not? As far as we are concerned, you deserve and need our support. Pushing it away won’t make us stop.” Bryce always sounds so calm and measured, even when faced with Caleb’s resistance.

“I’m, I’m doing fine? I mean, I have my work here and I have Nott and Beauregard and Caduceus. I may have nightmares sometimes, but it is no less than I deserve,” Caleb challenges, his voice tailing off as he admits more to Bryce than he had anticipated.

“Doing fine is not thriving,” they return sharply. “Nott, Caduceus and the others who care for you do not want you to just be ‘doing fine’. We want you to be enjoying yourself. It is why we check up on you.” Caleb flounders a little. He does not deserve this kindness that he receives; he knows that. But arguing with Bryce about this is probably not a logical thing to do. But logic doesn’t really apply here.

“I do not deserve your friendship. I do not deserve happiness. You, fich mich, you do not know what I have done, Bryce, you don’t know how much pain I caused, how much sorrow-” Caleb cuts himself off before the sob building in his throat chokes him. Then, there is a hand gently placed atop his own.

“Caleb Widogast listen to me,” they say, voice like steel. “I do not care what you have done. You are my friend and I care for you. I will continue to do so.” Caleb inhales sharply and looks up to Bryce, unsure of what to say next. How do you convince someone that you are unworthy of anything they can give you? How do you explain to them how much you have done?

How do you explain to someone that you killed your own family?

And the real answer is, you don’t. So, Caleb doesn’t. He just inhales and doesn’t reply to Bryce, who keeps their gaze fixed on him but seems fairly satisfied by the lack of resistance. They finish their coffee in silence and then gives one last smile to the wizard.

“Try to get more sleep, Caleb. And do not forget that we care for you.”

“It was good to see you, Bryce. Don’t be a stranger.” The half-elf smiles and inclines their head ever so slightly.

“I shall not, not now that I’m back in Zadash for a little while.” And with that, they give a little a wave as they slip out of the door.

* * *

Friday brings yet more rain and another welcome visitor to Caleb’s café. It’s early afternoon when Mollymauk Tealeaf ducks through the door, his braided hair clinging to his head and his once flowing clothes stuck to his purple skin with rainwater.

“C-C-Caleb!” exclaims the tiefling through chattering teeth as he slinks up to the counter, dripping rainwater all across the hardwood floors. “Could I bother you for a cup of that Honeybee tea? And maybe a towel if that’s not too much to ask?” Caleb blinks slowly at the sopping wet mess that is Mollymauk and nods dumbly, moving away to grab the tea towel from the cupboard it resides in.

“I, uh, use that for the moment, I will be right back with a larger one.” With a grateful smile, Molly takes the tea towel and begins to dry his hair as Caleb manages to drag his eyes away from where the rain has outlined perfectly Mollymauk’s toned legs and the perfect v-line of his hips down to his crotch.

Caleb realises rather suddenly that he would like to follow that line with his tongue.

Which, unsurprisingly, makes him turn the same colour as his hair as he flees up the rickety stairs into his living abode to grab a towel. It takes him a few moments to return, not because it was difficult to find a towel, but because he had to will his brain to move away from fantasies concerning Mollymauk’s cock.

“Ah, here,” says the wizard as he hands over the beige towel to the purple tiefling who immediately begins to attempt to dry off with it.

“You’re a gift from the gods, Mr Caleb,” groans Molly and Caleb forces himself to recount the types of tea he knows so as not to allow that sound to go directly to his own crotch. He busies himself with boiling the kettle and retrieving the tea from its space in the cramped kitchen shelves.

“You, ah, you’re welcome?” Caleb tries, unintentionally making the statement a question, but Mollymauk seems more interested in the kettle.

“You’re not using magic today,” he points out as he dries off his horns with the tea towel and his sleeves with the larger towel.

“Oh, ah, um…” Caleb flounders, unsure of what to respond to that. Telling Molly the reason that he is not using magic to boil water for the tea is not something he had considered doing for some time.

In fact, he had never considered telling the tiefling about his past.

“You don’t have to tell me why if it makes you uncomfortable,” says Mollymauk, his voice gentle and Caleb is thrown. “I am sorry, I did not mean to pry. Your life is your own.” The wizard gives him a small, but grateful smile.

“I, um, I… Thank you. I suppose I will tell you about, um, my past, but, but not now. Not now.” Molly nods, wiping his face down with the towel.

“That is completely understandable. I would like to continue to get to know you, but at your own pace.” Caleb stares at him, the freshly boiled kettle in one hand and the mug in the other as he tries to process that. He has never expected anyone to be so understanding at how slow he is to trust people now.

“I, uh, uh, danke? I, people can be difficult for me so um, I understand if we are going too slowly…”

“Caleb,” Mollymauk says, his voice sharp but not unkind. “I do not mind if we’re going slowly. I care about getting to know you properly, in every way possible.” His voice is teasing at the end and it makes Caleb flush.

“Thank you,” says the wizard, carefully emphasising his gratitude as he pours the hot water into Mollymauk’s tea before handing it over.

“Thank you,” echoes the tiefling with a playful wink as he saunters away with the tea to peruse the shelves of books as Caleb deals with a couple more customers who hurry in out of the rain.

As soon as Caleb is free again, Molly comes right back over.

“So, darling. What is your favourite book?”

“Of the ones here? I, um, I’m fairly partial to _Beyond The River’s Dawn_. It is part of a series and I like the style of it,” Caleb replies as he cleans up. “What about you, Mollymauk?”

“Oh me? I, uh, ah, I don’t find reading very easy, so I don’t have a favourite book,” admits the tiefling, playing with the tip of his tail. “Like, I can read! But, uh, it’s not something I enjoy. Which annoys me because I like stories.” He looks almost sheepish at the admittance of the fact. Caleb’s brow furrows.

“That is frustrating. I will see if there is some way I can help you access stories. I mean, ah, aside from film night at Jester’s.” Mollymauk chuckles a little and sips his tea, clearly unexpecting the conversation to have turned like this.

“Thanks. Do you know when we will have another one?”

“Oh, I think very soon,” Caleb mutters a little dryly. “Jester has not been in yet this week, but Fjord has, and I am sure she will want to see us all again soon.”

“She has been busy at the parlour,” Molly muses. “Her Instagram really took off and lots of people have been requesting her work, especially on artful pieces. But she said yesterday that she was going to come in this weekend to see you and Beau, I think.”

“Ah, good. I am sure she will text with information. It is only me who she comes to talk to.”

“Yes, because you don’t check your phone, right?” Molly chuckles. “She has complained about it.”

“I’m not good at technology,” mutters Caleb, waving to the lack of technology. “I have the landline phone with emergency numbers of speed dial and that’s it. I do have a mobile phone, but it is upstairs, turned off. So if you want me, you have to come here or call Nott.”

“Oh, noted, darling.” Mollymauk finishes his tea and hands over the mug. “I know how to get in touch. Well, if you’ll excuse me, that’s my lunch break over, so I have to head back out into the storm. Thank you for the towels and the wonderful conversation, Mr Caleb.” Caleb smiles, flushing slightly.

“Thank you for coming in, Mr Mollymauk. I will see you soon.”

“Oh, you definitely will,” purrs the tiefling as he gives Caleb a wink and turns on his heel slipping out of the door.

“Sheisse,” curses Caleb under his breath into the quiet café. “Sheisse, fick mich, fick mich…” He hadn’t thought it was possible for his budding crush on Mollymauk Tealeaf to grow stronger, but his acceptance of Caleb’s resistance and the simple way he had come in on his lunch break has tugged sharply on the heart strings that Caleb though had been destroyed long ago. As he stands, holding the mug Mollymauk had just given him back, he inhales slowly, the smell of lavender filling his nostrils and it calms him.

As long as he kept his desires for the tiefling under check and the affection peaking through his chest locked in there, he will be okay. After all, he, Caleb Widogast, definitely does not deserve affection like Mollymauk Tealeaf could provide.

Not after what he had done at the side of Trent Ikithon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite literally all of the rest of the German in this is just cursing but hey
> 
> Sheisse - Shit  
> Fick mich - Fuck me


	9. Stützen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb continues to push himself too hard and Caduceus has to help him breathe. Also, Jester surely has plans that Caleb doesn't know about yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope you are still all enjoying this, I'm so happy to have found my muse again.  
> I blame Vox Machina.  
> Still, enjoy!  
> Chapter title means Support.

Jester does indeed visit on Sunday, Caleb hears. He spends the day curled up in bed, with Frumpkin, hiding from the world. He doesn’t even do his usual scheduled shop and when Nott pokes her head in around 2:15pm, he doesn’t speak, curling tighter into his blankets.

“Hey, Caleb,” she says, her voice as soft as her scratchy, high-pitched goblin voice can be. “Need me to get the groceries today?” The wizard manages an affirmative noise, burying his face into Frumpkin’s fur as the cat continues to purr. “Okay, I’ll go do that.” Nott shuffles out of the room and Caleb can hear her speaking quietly to someone outside. He can only make out phrases from where he is, and he certainly isn’t moving to try and hear more.

“… worse than usual… didn’t speak…” There is a reply from the other person, and he recognises Beauregard’s stern tone.

“… an eye on him… non-verbal isn’t… yeah, that’s bad…”

“… get groceries… think that Jes could… check with him?” The door creaks back open and Caleb graces the movement with a head shift.

“Hey, Caleb,” Nott says, coming closer. “Would you like Jester to come and sit with you?” Caleb shakes his head immediately. Jester means well but he really could not cope with the energy she has in this state.

“Okay, that’s fine,” Nott assures him and sighs a little. “I’m going to leave my mobile phone here instead then, okay? If anything happens, I want you to speed-dial 2. It’s the landline downstairs, so Beau knows to come help.” Caleb nods, but he knows he will not take up Nott’s suggestions.

He doesn’t deserve this.

He doesn’t deserve their kindness.

He deserves to be hated and ignored and left alone to die quietly in peace so that he could never hurt another individual.

He curls back up into his blankets, burying his face in his pillow and counts his breathing with the seconds as he listens to Nott and Beauregard move downstairs. He feels raw and exposed and like every ounce of self-hatred he has in his body is scratching and crawling up and down his own arms.

* * *

 

Caleb would like to think that he didn’t know how much time had passed before there was another soft knock on the door, but he does. Of course, he does. Precisely an hour and 17 minutes have gone by when the rapping comes. It’s odd; he doesn’t recognise the knock. It is not the usual scraping knock of Nott’s clawed hands, or the sharp, rhythmic knock of Beauregard. But when he makes a weak sound of assent to let the person know they can come in, a familiar pink-haired firbolg pokes his head in.

“Oh, Mister Caleb…” Caduceus Clay says and the sympathy in his voice makes Caleb’s skin crawl. He doesn’t deserve that. “May I come over? I have brought up some chamomile tea.” Caleb considers this for a moment and realises that his throat is rather sore. He would like the tea. He nods. That makes Caduceus smile immediately and the firbolg carefully paces over, putting the mug of steaming tea on Caleb’s nightstand. He looks over at the ball of a scruffy wizard that Caleb now is and ponders for a moment.

“Would you like me to stay? I have a book to read on gardening if you would like quiet company.” Caleb is quiet for a long moment. He wants Caduceus to stay, wants to know he’s not alone despite how he feels. But he doesn’t deserve it, he doesn’t deserve anything, he did so many terrible _horrible irredeemable_ things he doesn’t deserve can’t ever deserve _willneverdeserve_ -

“Mister Caleb,” Caduceus’s voice is sharp and deep, and it makes Caleb realise that he is hyperventilating, taking short, desperate breaths. “Inhale, slowly, exhale, slowly.” It takes a moment, but Caleb manages to breathe normally. Caduceus nods, like he has made a decision and takes a seat in the rickety armchair that Caleb has in the corner of his room. “I will stay.” And suddenly, it is easier. The wizard knew he didn’t deserve his friend staying but also, he cannot challenge the decisions of the firbolg himself.

They sit in silence for exactly 17 minutes according to Caleb’s internal clock as Caduceus flicks through the book he has pulled from his bag as Caleb takes sharp sips of too hot tea.

“Cad-Caduceus,” Caleb croaks and the firbolg’s long floppy ears perk up immediately but he turns to look slowly. “Thank you,” the wizard manages to say, barely peeking out over Frumpkin’s fur.

“Anytime, Caleb. Anytime at all,” replies the florist, his voice calming with its deep rumble. “Would you like to talk about it?” Caleb shakes his head, giving a faint whine at the idea of having to talk. “Okay, Mister Caleb. That’s okay. Would you like me to talk? I could read to you or talk about mundane things if you would like?”

“Talk please,” Caleb manages, his voice barely above a whisper. “About anything.”

“Of course,” rumbles Caduceus as he begins to launch into a long discussion about the correct type of fertiliser to use for lilies. Combined with Frumpkin’s purring, it is very relaxing. Slowly, slowly, Caleb begins to doze off.

* * *

 

And for a while, his sleep is uninterrupted and peaceful, but the nightmares find him as they always do. Flames and darkness swirl through his mind as he hears Trent Ikithon speak; he twitches and struggles.

_Bren. Give me all of your trust. Show me who you are. Burn them~._

As he struggles, there is hand on his shoulder and Caleb shoots up right, caught in the nightmare, his hands on fire, but the voice he hears is deep, rumbling and soft.

“Mister Caleb! Relax, you are safe, I am here.”

Caduceus. Caduceus is here. Slowly, he blinks and the large firbolg swims into focus and he can see the concern on his face. With a quick movement, he extinguishes the flames in his palms.

“C-C-Caduceus?” he manages to force out and Caduceus reaches forward, pausing just before his hair.

“I am here. May I touch you?” asks the florist softly and Caleb just leans into his large hand. Immediately, Caduceus runs his fingertips through his hair, gently scratching at his scalp.

“Cad…” Caleb whispers and he realises that he is crying, sniffling quietly.

“Caleb, it’s okay, I’m here, it’s okay, you’re safe, you’re safe,” rumbles Caduceus. Caleb reaches up to wipe his eyes quickly, trying to hide the tears but Caduceus just smiles. “It’s okay, you’re okay.” There is a long moment whilst Caleb manages to calm his breathing down.

“Sorry,” mutters the wizard, sitting up as Caduceus removes his hand from Caleb’s hair.

“It is no problem. Nightmare?” Caleb nods, looking around as Frumpkin appears to have left.

“Ja, I am used to them but… ah, sorry. You should not have had to deal with that.” Caduceus’s brow knits immediately.

“You are my friend. It was not an issue. You know that the Blooming Grove is not open Sundays; it is not like I had other things to do. I want to help.” Caleb almost says _you can’t help_ but the look that the firbolg is giving him is so sincere and gentle, he can only nod.

“Thank you. For staying. And helping.”

“It is no issue.”

Caduceus stays late into the evening. He makes sure that Caleb eats and does not leave until Nott assures him that she does not have work and will stay with Caleb throughout the night.

Caleb lets this happen around him, as though he is on another plane of reality, silent and careful. The nightmares don’t abate but they are easier to deal with when Nott’s small, warm body is beside him.

* * *

 

Monday dawns, bright and cool for spring and Caleb feels marginally better. There are less shadows and flames in his head and his fingers don’t tremble when he uses his carefully controlled Firebolt to make his own tea at 5:30am. Maybe he can do this. And, that is the nature of his reality. Some days are just easier than others.

The morning is busy, as Monday’s are, and Caleb is very glad that Nott had gone to the shops the day before because he would have definitely run out of coffee before 11am. It’s around then that Caleb gets a lull and he sinks onto his stool behind the counter. Ebil is here, curled up in their usual chair with their usual iced latte, reading a history book about the nearby country of Tal’Dorei. But Ebil is not the only tiefling visitor that Caleb has. It’s 11:37 when the door flies open and Jester bounds in, sucking on a lollipop from the side of her mouth.

“Caleb, there you are! I came to see you yesterday, but Beau said you weren’t feeling well. Are you okay?” Caleb manages a smile, habitually starting to make Jester’s usual coffee.

“I am okay. Just, you know that my head can be, um, bad sometimes?” Jester nods, gently smiling as she leans on the counter. “Ja, it has been bad recently.”

“Well, perhaps you should do something fun to with help that!” Caleb raises one eyebrow, questioningly as he hands her the coffee.

“Ja? Like what?”

“Come for milkshakes with me! This Sunday, please, please! We can talk and have milkshakes and I can show you the new work I’ve been doing!” Caleb frowns. He doesn’t really have any desire to get milkshakes.

“I don’t know, Jester…”

“Please? Pretty please with whipped cream, sprinkles and a cherry on top?” pleads the tiefling, batting her eyelashes at him and Caleb acquiesces with a sigh. It is rarely worth arguing with Jester about these things; she will just continue to nag until he gives in.

“I suppose. Sunday, ja?”

“Yes! Let’s say, like, uh, 3pm? At that cute place by the Pentamarket?” Caleb nods with a small, slightly shrewd smile.

“3pm it is.”

“You’re the best, Caleb!” Jester giggles as she takes a long drink of her coffee. “Perfect as usual. But honestly, are you okay?” The sincerity throws Caleb almost immediately and he manages a nod.

“Ja… I, I am better today. Yesterday was very bad but I am better now.” The little blue tiefling places her hands on top of his with a careful smile.

“I am glad you are okay. You know we all love you, right, Caleb? We all love you,” she says gently and Caleb manages a faint smile which dissolves into a blush when Jester says,

“Especially Mollymauk!”

“Ah-h, Mollymauk?” Caleb echoes, knowing that his face is likely clashing with his hair right now.

“Yeah!” Jester giggles, amused by the blushing. “He talks about you all the time. I think he really likes you.”

“You think so?” he manages and Jester nods.

“He keeps asking what you like and what your interests are and things like that. I really think he wants to woo you. Do you like him too?” Caleb doesn’t respond to that, but by the fact that all of the blood is currently filling his cheeks and Jester’s delighted giggles, he doesn’t need to. “Good!” she says firmly. “You deserve nice things, like Mollymauk, in your life.”

Oh.

But Caleb knows he doesn’t.

Caleb knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he does not deserve nice things.

But before he can refute it, Jester is finishing her coffee and moving to leave.

“I have to get back! But thank you for the coffee, Caleb! Sunday! Do not forget! Oh, and also, I think another Group Night is in order in a week or so, yeah?!”

“Ja,” manages Caleb faintly as the blue tiefling waves, leaving quickly. And as Caleb introduces his head sharply to the counter, trying to fix his running thoughts about Mollymauk, he hears Ebil chuckling softly.

“Oh, hush, Ebil,” he grumbles and the tiefling gives a playful snort before they return to their book.

_Oh, Mollymauk Tealeaf,_ Caleb muses. _You will be the death of me, even if you're not in front of me._


	10. Vollkommenheit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb goes to get milkshakes with Jester, but the little blue tiefling has been up to her usual tricks...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Thank you so much for sticking with me! And to everyone who is also reading my other Widomauk fic, I swear I will pull you from the tide.  
> Just recently went through a break up so wasn't feel super up to writing relationships stuff, but I'm feeling okay and I am really excited to continue!  
> Hope you all enjoy this!  
> Title means Perfection

Sunday comes far too fast for Caleb’s liking. The week continues to exist, his little family flitting in and out. Fjord comes in on some early mornings; Caduceus brings flowers and hovers a little longer than necessary in his protective manner; Yasha and Beau visit on Wednesday on a definitely-not-a-date-at-all-nope and Bryce ducks in to buy their usual latte with a small smile. The week is noticeably void of a certain purple-skinned tiefling and Caleb actively tries to pretend that he doesn’t care.

Of course, he does care. Caleb cares a lot.

But the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ is busy enough all week that he has been able to distract himself with the work.

And now, it is Sunday.

Caleb gets up and actually puts on a tidy set of clothes: dark jeans and a collared navy shirt with small white birds on it. Jester always nags him about looking like a scruffy wizard, so he makes at least a little bit of effort, considering that he is going to meet her. He does his usual weekly shop and Beauregard gives an unhelpful snort when Caleb struggles to lift the heavy bags containing gallons and gallons of milk into the bookstore, but she does come help him, after being amused by his struggling for a little while. He dithers around the café, organising books and restocking shelves until Beauregard gets bored of his hovering and tells him to go out to meet Jester already. Caleb sighs, but does as he is told, shuffling out of the Zemnian Traveller at around 2:33pm. He will be early for meeting Jester for milkshakes but that’s fine. He can find a good spot to sit in.

Caleb shuffles quietly into the warm interior of _Shake ‘Em Up!_ in the centre of the Pentamarket, scanning quickly for a good spot. There is a spot at the back, facing towards the window and bathed in the dappled light of the bright spring day. Perfect. Caleb slides into the seat facing the window and pulls out a battered copy of _The Tales of Tal’Dorei_ from his pocket, relaxing into reading as he waits for Jester.

Caleb is immersed in reading about the destruction of Emon at the claws of the Chroma Conclave when someone sits down in front of him and he startles, looking up.

It is not Jester.

It is in fact, Mollymauk Tealeaf. Molly gives him a smile, head tilted slightly to the left.

“Oh, hallo, Mister Mollymauk,” Caleb says hastily, putting away his book in the deep pockets of his coat.

“Hello, Mister Caleb. Wasn’t expecting to see you here, just came to grab a milkshake with Jester, but I saw you instead. I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to speak to my favourite wizard, could I?” flirts the tiefling and Caleb is already blushing when something clicks in his head.

“Wait, you were meant to be meeting Jester here?”

“Yeah, she said something about craving milkshakes on Friday and told me to come along?” Caleb gives a sigh.

“Oh, ja…”

“What is it?” asks Mollymauk, confused.

“I think there has been a bit of matchmaking and trickery here from our little blue friend,” explains the wizard. He is a little exasperated, but he can’t help but be happy to see Mollymauk again. He has missed him this week.

“Ahhh,” replies the tiefling, understanding. And to Caleb’s surprise, he begins to laugh. “Oh, Jester… So unnecessary. I had been meaning to come to the bookstore all week to ask you, ah, um, to ask you on a date.” He trails off at the end and Caleb’s heart leaps in his chest.

“You, you had?”

“Yeah, but I kept getting fully booked up and Yasha had a few meltdowns on me about her not-relationship with Beau and I never got around to it. Maybe that is why Jester did this. So…” Mollymauk raises his red eyes to look at Caleb dead on and winks. “Mister Caleb, will you do me the honour of considering this a date?”

Caleb feels like his heart is going to burst. This little crush he has been harbouring on Molly is in full swing and the very fact that it could be reciprocated is something he had not considered.

“I, uh, I would like that,” the wizard manages, his throat catching ever so slightly. The way Mollymauk’s face lights up could power the whole of Zadash.

“Excellent! Let’s get milkshakes, shall we? What would you like?”

“Ah-h, just vanilla please,” Caleb murmurs and Molly nods, getting to his feet.

“Vanilla it is,” and he winks at Caleb which makes his thoughts become anything but vanilla. Caleb takes a few minutes to compose himself, breathing slowly and trying to quell the slight panic in his chest. He is so unsure of himself around people, but Mollymauk especially.

It’s like being friends with a deity.

Mollymauk is so beautiful, gentle, playful, _he’s just so perfect._

How could Caleb ever compare to that?

Soon enough, the tiefling in question comes over, holding two milkshakes, vanilla for Caleb and what appears to be chocolate for himself.

“The couple two tables over from us have very good disguises, but very terrible accents,” he whispers to the wizard and Caleb looks over to see a gnomish woman sat talking to a beautiful half-elven lady. He sees exactly what Mollymauk means immediately. Jester and Nott might be able to cast Disguise Self to look completely different, but their mannerisms are the same and he knows it’s them immediately.

It makes him smile a little. Its nice to think that they care about this enough to make him and Mollymauk go on a set-up date.

“Copper for your thoughts?” asks Mollymauk, clearly catching the smile.

“Just amused by the antics of our friends,” Caleb clarifies, and it makes Molly smile in response.

“Ah, yes.” He takes a long sip of his milkshake. “Thank you for agreeing to the date though, Mister Caleb.”

Caleb can feel how read his ears are turning. “Ah-h, it was nothing. I am, uh, it was, it was unexpected. But not unwelcome,” he murmurs, not meeting the red eyes of his companion.

Mollymauk shifts, his skin a little darker around his cheeks and Caleb wonders if that means he is blushing.

“Good,” says the tiefling, looking down at his milkshake as Caleb takes a sip of his own.

“Oh!” Caleb says, perking up. “I have something for you. Well, not an actual thing, but a recommendation.” Mollymauk’s head tilts, confused.

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“Have you ever tried audiobooks? There are lots online and I, uh, I can get some into the bookstore if you like. It would mean you could enjoy stories without having to read,” Caleb babbles, a little nervous considering both the setting and the assumptions he is making. But Mollymauk brightens up immediately.

“I haven’t! That, those sound perfect, Caleb! I would love that!” And Caleb breathes again. “Okay, okay, what do you recommend?”

“Um, well, what stories do you like? Adventure? Fantasy? Real-life?” Caleb asks, running his mental catalogue to produce some ideas.

“I think fantasy and adventure. Makes me feel, I dunno, like I’m-”

“Somewhere else…” Caleb finishes with him and the wizard meets the eyes of the tattooist for just a second before they both look away sharply and have to take deep breaths to calm themselves down.

“Okay, ja, I can do that. There is _Beyond the River’s Dawn_ and that series, but also, I have just yesterday finished reading _Good Omens_ again, which is about a not-so-bad demon and a not-so-perfect angel and how they mess up trying to prevent the end of the world.”

“Oh, I like the sound of that,” Mollymauk says, resting his head on his upturned palms, elbows on the table so he can stare into Caleb’s face. “I will try to find those online.”

“Well, ah, if you can’t, I can get them into the bookstore for you.” Molly flashes him one of those stunning grins in thanks.

“What was the book you were reading when I got here?”

“Oh, this?” Caleb withdraws the tattered book from his pocket. “It is a book about the history of Tal’Dorei across the ocean. It is a little dramatized but still informational.”

“Mmh, history, not big into that,” replies Molly and the wizard can’t help but smile at the wrinkle in the tiefling’s face at the idea of history.

“Not history then, noted. What do you like?”

“I like art and I like dancing and being playful and seeing my friends happy,” says Mollymauk, completely honestly and Caleb takes a long drink of his milkshake to hide his smitten smile. Molly wasn’t only attractive; he was caring and gentle and loving and it was certainly not something that Caleb deserved. Slowly, Mollymauk reaches out across the table to take Caleb’s hand in his own, giving him plenty of time to pull away or protest. But Caleb does neither.

“I want to see you happy.” Caleb gently holds Mollymauk’s hand and gives him a small, shy smile. Behind them, there is a poorly muffled shriek of joy and Caleb can feel his ears burning heavily but Mollymauk is laughing.

It’s such a beautiful laugh.

Ringing and rich, his head thrown back and dark purple hair tumbling around his shoulders.

And for the moment, Caleb is far too smitten to care about Jester or Nott or what he does not deserve.

Just for the moment, there is just him and Mollymauk on this perfect day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I've been watching Vox Machina and Good Omens...


	11. Achtung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb has been riding so high on the joys of dating Mollymauk that a bad day really feels like he has crashed completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy! I've just got so many ideas and I love this fic so much.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Explicit discussions of house fires and loss of consciousness.
> 
> If you don't want to read that, stop reading at 'It takes him ten minutes too long to realise something is wrong'. I'll add a little summary at the bottom so it makes sense!
> 
> Thank you guys so much for all your continued support!  
> Chapter title means Danger or Warning.

Caleb has rather been enjoying the warm fuzzy feeling he has been riding on over the last few weeks after his date with Mollymauk. The tiefling had asked, just as they left _Shake ‘Em Up!_

“So, um, Mister Caleb, this was a lovely date. May, ah, would it be possible to have another? Maybe a few more? Perhaps, ah, if you comfortable with it, we, um, I would like it, if, if we could be considered, well, seeing each other, I suppose.” Caleb had smiled shyly, amused by how nervous Mollymauk was, but also so very excited at the idea of maybe dating the tiefling.

“I, I would like that. Another date it is. And, and… yes. I would like to, um, do the other thing too,” he had replied, unsure, but the smile he received in return from Mollymauk had been worth every stuttered word.

And in fact, they have been on several dates by now. Mollymauk knows better than to text him, so he comes to the bookstore or makes sure they arrange another date at the end of the last one. Caleb had once broached the topic of whether or not it annoyed Mollymauk, that he had to ‘court’ him like this and the tiefling had laughed.

“Caleb, darling, I love it. Don’t get me wrong, I would like to text you more, just so we can speak every day, but I always know where you are, and I know you would never be late for a date.” Caleb had gone bright red at that, and Molly had kissed his flushed cheeks, grinning in that insatiable way which made Caleb’s body melt somewhat.

They have been seeing each other for nearly three weeks now and Caleb is starting to admit to himself that he would like more from Mollymauk. They have exchanged quick kisses, held hands, even hugged when Caleb felt more comfortable around the tiefling. But the wizard feels a constant, desperate urge to spend more time with the tattoo artist. To the point that he has, obviously, memorised Mollymauk’s lunch times, so he can wait for the other to come see him. And if he does not, then Caleb gets irrationally down. Usually until Mollymauk comes in the next day.

Group night has gotten easier too. They had one only a week ago and it saw Caleb and Molly curled up together in the loveseat whilst a tragic action film plays out on the TV, watching as a family lost a member of their group and struggled to deal with the changes that came with time. Fjord had given the wizard a cocky grin as he gently wiped Mollymauk’s tears away with one finger, earning himself a sad smile from the tiefling in question. The little rag-tag band of idiots that they have gathered seem genuinely happy for him and Molly as they test out their new, fragile relationship.

Caleb wouldn’t go as far as to say that he is in love with Mollymauk Tealeaf, but he certainly cares about him a lot.

Especially as the tiefling has been so considerate; they have taken everything at Caleb’s pace, never pushing or asking for more than the wizard is prepared for. And it has helped so much as Caleb struggles with contact and interactions far more than he would like to let on, but Molly has made that easier. He no longer shies away from Molly’s hugs; he now reaches out to take the tiefling’s hand and for the first time, during their seventh or eighth date, Caleb leans forward to kiss him chastely.

But all this goodness, makes the bad days feel so much worse.

* * *

It is a Wednesday and Caleb and Mollymauk have been dating for precisely three weeks and three days now.

It is a Wednesday and Caleb has opened the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ as usual.

It is a Wednesday and Caleb feels like hell.

He wants to rip off his skin, curl in a ball, just stop existing, just stop, stop stop… But he has to work. His head is full of flames and the taunts of Trent Ikithon and more than once when the shop is dead, he slips into the little toilet at the back to retch, everything feeling uncomfortable. Caleb’s anxiety and stress are through the roof and it makes all contact feel unbearable, even the simple action of giving or receiving change at the counter makes him shudder. Nott isn’t even in. She had gone to see Yeza, an old friend of hers who had moved back into Zadash recently and she was trying to rekindle a relationship with him.

Caleb manages until 11:32am when a customer retorts something waspish concerning the time it had taken to calm his shaking hands long enough to make tea. Then he breaks. As the customer leaves, Caleb scrambles for the landline telephone and in a panic, hits 4 on the speed-dial. He doesn’t know Mollymauk’s number and Caduceus is safe, calming presence that he trusts with his panicked states.

“Hello, you have reached the Blooming Grove. Caduceus Clay speaking,” comes the gentle rumbling tones of the firbolg and Caleb inhales sharply, unsure what to say.

“’Deuceus…” he chokes out, hearing his own voice crack sharply.

“Caleb? Is that you? Are you okay?” Immediately, the florist sounds worried and Caleb makes a faint sound of agreement. “Do you want me to come over?” Caleb repeats the sound and there is an immediate shuffling sound. “Okay, I’m coming, put the phone down now, Caleb.” Slowly, the wizard draws the phone away from his ear and returns it to the cradle, just as the door swings open and in strides the firbolg. His apron is askew, and his keys are still in his hand, as though he had just locked up quickly. Instead of coming straight over to Caleb, Caduceus does a quick sweep of the bookstore and upon finding it empty, flips the sign to **CLOSED.**

“Oh, Caleb,” he sighs sympathetically, looking over at the bedraggled wizard cowering behind the counter. He approaches, hands outstretched, like one would approach a scared animal. “It’s okay, come out from there, come sit down.” Caleb makes a sound in the back of his throat, a cut off little squeak but he shuffles around the edge of the counter.

“Cad-Caduceus,” he whispers and the firbolg smiles, keeping his hands held out in front of him placatingly.

“I’m here, Caleb. Come sit down, then I’ll make you some calming tea, how about that?” The wizard nods, letting the firbolg guide him without touching into one of his softest armchairs. Then, keeping a close eye on him, Caduceus shuffles behind the counter to make tea with the abandoned plastic kettle. It is quiet and the ringing in Caleb’s ears calms a little at the peace. Only moments pass before Caduceus comes over slowly with two mugs of tea. Placing them both on the little side table, he pulls over another chair, sitting opposite the wizard. Caleb is curled straight up into the chair, clutching at his knees.

“There we go,” rumbles Caduceus. “Now, Caleb, can you tell me what’s wrong?” Caleb shakes his head slightly. There isn’t anything to say; it is merely his head is full of hatred and he deserves it all. “Okay,” says the firbolg, unperturbed by the response. “Would you like me to talk or not?” Caleb shakes his head again. Caduceus nods and picks up his tea. They sit there in silence and it helps. It helps so much. Caleb takes sips of his too-hot tea, clenched tightly between his fingers.

“I’m, I’m sorry for taking you away from your shop,” whispers Caleb after about ten minutes of quiet.

“No, no, it is no worries,” says Caduceus immediately. “I had closed up for my lunch break, so it was okay.” The wizard gives a little nod, still clutching at his now-empty mug.

“Thank you for coming,” he murmurs. “I am feeling a bit better now.”

“You should take the rest of the day off,” suggests Caduceus but Caleb shakes his head.

“I, I can’t. Need the money.” The firbolg nods sadly.

“I understand. Would you like me to stay longer?”

“Just, just, ten more minutes?” requests Caleb, with a twitch, eyes focused on the ground. Caduceus gives a reassuring smile.

“As long as you need.” Caleb gives himself exactly ten more minutes before he forces himself to stand, inhaling slow and deep. He still feels bad, but it’s no longer unbearable.

“Thank you, Caduceus,” he murmurs as the firbolg stands. He smiles down at Caleb and nods.

“I am here whenever you need me.” And with that, Caduceus leaves, flipping the sign back over **OPEN!**

Caleb inhales, exhales and slowly begins to clear up the shop.

* * *

It takes him ten minutes too long to realise something is wrong.

He is cleaning a table on the left side of the shop, next to the wall which connects his and Caduceus’s shops when he smells the smoke. He knows the smell of burning and his eyes go wide. He’s imagining it, surely, it is not the first time his mind has played tricks on him. But, just to be sure, Caleb places his hand on the connecting wall and curses.

It’s scalding hot to the touch.

**_Caduceus!_ **

The cups in his hand fall to the ground, shattering, but Caleb doesn’t care. He runs outside, not caring about locking the door and heads straight to the _Blooming Grove Flowershop._

Smoke. There are tendrils of smoke curling out from under the door and Caleb can’t see inside.

“Caduceus!” he yells, panicked, as he tugs at the door, finding it locked. There is no response. His throat closing up in worry, Caleb presses a finger to the lock and casts Knock, listening to the door click open under his finger.

And, he should have pulled his scarf up to prevent him from inhaling the smoke, but his mind is so addled with worry about his best friend, that he just yanks open the door and runs into the smoke-filled shop.

The heat is blistering, and breathing is immediately hard, but it is the smell that gets Caleb. The smell of wood, fabric cooking and it makes him gag. He’s seventeen again, stood in front of his old family home, watching the flames rise as Trent Ikithon whispers praise in his ear. But he can’t, he can’t go away now, Caduceus needs him.

“Caduceus!” he tries, coughing as the smoke reaches his lungs. “Caduceus!” His eyes are wild as he runs through the shop, to the back where he is met with a wall of flame rising from Caduceus’s little kitchenette. And, there, unconscious on the ground near the worst of the flames, is Caduceus Clay. His delicate fur is singed, and his clothes are burning, and Caleb can hear someone screaming. It must be himself. Immediately, he lunges forward, grabbing at the burning fabric. He feels the fire burn at his palms, but he is used to that. He uses fire all the time. Desperate and panicked, Caleb begins to drag Caduceus out of the reach of the flames, laying his own body over that of the firbolg’s to suffocate the fire eating away at his clothes. Caduceus is limp, dead weight under his arms and Caleb is shaking, trembling. He has to get them out of here. He has to.

But the fire is spreading. He can feel the heat blasting him in the face and he can’t breathe, the smoke choking his throat. As Caleb pulls Caduceus back out into the main area of the shop, he watches as the flames race across the ceiling, eating up Caduceus’s verdant plant life. His breaths are sharp and useless now and the door is still so far away.

Caleb isn’t going to make it.

The thought hits him like a ton of bricks as he struggles to pull the lanky form of his friend away from the flames biting at their back.

Everything is starting to go black.

Caleb’s ears are ringing.

His head is swimming.

In desperation, he lays his body across Caduceus’s as he watches a blazing hanging basket drop from the ceiling, blocking their escape. As he begins to lose consciousness, Caleb regrets. It really was rather poetic that this was to be the way he would leave this world. But still, he longs.

He wishes he could have said goodbye to Fjord and Jester and Yasha.

He wishes he could have gotten to see Beauregard and Nott once more.

He wishes he could have loved Mollymauk better.

As darkness fills his vision, Caleb presses himself over Caduceus, as protectively as he can.

Just as consciousness slips away from Caleb, there is a flash of blue light in his periphery. But then, everything goes dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To cover: Caduceus becomes trapped in his shop during a house fire. Caleb runs in to try and help him, but is unsuccessful. Both lose consciousness as the chapter ends.


	12. Befurchten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nott feels like something is wrong. She doesn't know what and she doesn't like it one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am terribly amused by how much stress I caused with the last chapter. I would say I'm sorry but I'm really not eheh.  
> Thank you all so much for reading!  
> Chapter title means 'To fear' as in the infinitive verb version of fear.

Nott feels like something is wrong. She is sat across Zadash, eating lunch with Yeza, talking calmly with the halfling whom she has been separated from for so long. There is a prickle on the back of her neck which will not go away, and she checks the time on her phone: 11:56am. She had promised herself she would call Caleb at lunchtime, just to check up on him. He had been so frayed this morning when she had left.

“Would you excuse me a moment, Yeza?” she asks, smiling in what she hopes is a reassuring manner. “I have to make a call. It’ll just be a second.” The halfling across from her nods easier, with a comforting smile.

“Of course, no worries.” Nott steps away for a moment, quickly calling the landline for the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café._

No answer.

Nott frowns. It is very unlike Caleb not to reply to a phone call. Perhaps he was serving a customer. She tries a second time, a minute later.

No answer.

Getting worried now, she tries Caduceus. Surely the firbolg can pop next door and check on Caleb.

Caduceus’s phone doesn’t even ring, cut off instantly and now Nott is terrified. It wasn’t usual for her to call but when she did, both Caleb and Caduceus always answered. Her next thought is Jester. The tattoo parlour is a three-minute walk from the bookstore and she can ask her to check in. So, her claws skittering across the phone in a panic, she calls Jester. She can feel Yeza’s concerned gaze on her as she grows more nervous.

The phone is answered.

“Hey, this is Jester’s phone, Mollymauk speaking. She’s with a customer right now, can I take a message?” comes the voice of the tiefling and Nott exhales sharply. Mollymauk will do fine. He is dating Caleb after all.

“Mollymauk, it’s Nott!”

“Oh, hey Nott, sorry about this. Jessie’s just finishing-”

“Listen to me!” she squeaks and Molly goes quiet. “Caleb and Caduceus aren’t answering their phones. Caleb had a really bad head day this morning and I’m worried, can you head over to the shop and check he’s okay? It’s probably nothing, they’re probably just talking to each other, but still.”

“Sure, sure, I was heading over there anyway,” he replies, sounding a little worried himself. “I’ll head off now and text you when I get there.”

“You got my number?”

“No, but I can get it off Jessie’s phone. I’m sure its nothing, Nott. I’ll text you in 10 with what’s happening, alright?”

“Alright. Sorry to ask, I’m just half-way across Zadash right now and I needed someone who was closer.”

“No, no, it’s fine. Go back to whatever you were doin’, I’ll text. Bye, Nott,” says Mollymauk as he rustles around in the background.

“Bye, Mollymauk.” Nott hangs up and goes to sit back down with Yeza.

“Everything okay?” he asks, worried.

“Yeah, yeah. Just, you know,” Nott says unhelpfully, but Yeza doesn’t push. Nott picks nervously at her food, waiting for the text from Molly.

Across Zadash, Mollymauk Tealeaf all but runs out of the tattoo parlour to Caleb’s bookstore. He hadn’t been worried, nothing had changed between them and suddenly now, he is terrified.

Something has gone wrong. Nott wouldn’t call if there weren’t something wrong.

As Molly hurries down the road, he watches a fire engine and an ambulance screech through the streets and feels a pang of pity for the poor people that those emergency services were going to.

Until he rounded the corner of the street that the bookshop and café resided on.

There is smoke and fire engines and ambulances and Mollymauk is sprinting now, his heart in is throat, his eyes stinging with tears. He collides with a red dragonborn firefighter as he reaches the Zemnian Traveller and the Blooming Grove. Both are choked with smoke and alight.

“Sir-uh, ma’am, Mixter, you can’t go in there, its not safe,” they say, holding Mollymauk’s arms.

“My-my partner!” he gasps out, struggling against the strong grasp. “My boyfriend owns that bookshop and my friend the flowershop, please, please.” The dragonborn doesn’t release him, sighing softly.

“Race and description, two individuals have just been pulled from the flowershop. And a cat from the bookshop.”

“Human, ginger hair, scrawny and, and firbolg, tall, grey fur, pink hair, please! Tell me where they are, please, I need to know.” he begs and the dragonborn looks over to a figure over by the ambulance.

“Cleric Toluse, does that match the individuals?” The figure turns around. She’s high-elven, wearing pristine clothes of a paramedic, with a cleric’s symbol around her neck.

“Yes, officer. Allow them entry. If they are family of the individuals, they may accompany us to the hospital. Though, this cat also has to be dealt with.”

“I’ll, I’ll call someone,” Mollymauk manages to choke out, fumbling for his phone. It takes him far too long to scramble up the number for Yasha but she answers on the first ring.

“Mollymauk, is something wrong?”

“I, I, Yasha, I need, I have, the bookstore, the flower shop, please, you gotta come now. B-bring, bring Beau, you, you need to take Frumpkin,” he stutters out, completely unsure of how to explain anything. “There was a fire, Yasha, please,” he begs.

“We are on our way. Are Caleb and Caduceus okay?” Molly made a pained sound in the back of his throat.

“N-No. I’m going to the, the hospital with the clerics. I gotta, ah, I gotta call Nott.”

“I will call Jester and Fjord. Will you be okay?”

“No, but, but… I have to do this,” whispers Mollymauk into the phone. He can feel the tears streaming down his cheeks.

“We will be there soon. Go, Mollymauk,” Yasha assures and he can hear her clattering around in the background.

“Thank, thank you. Bye Yasha.”

“Goodbye, Mollymauk.” And she hangs up. He looks up at the elven cleric.

“Someone is coming to get the cat,” he mumbles and she nods. Around them both, a number of tieflings, fire genasi and red and bronze dragonborns are tackling the blaze.

“Okay. Come along now, Mixter… what is your name?”

“Molly, Mollymauk Tealeaf,” he says, following her as she begins to stride quickly back towards the ambulances which are parked.

“Okay, Mixter Tealeaf. The human is in the ambulance with me and the firbolg is in the other ambulance with Cleric Shakaste. Who would you like to ride with?”

“You, please. He, he is my boyfriend.”

“You said he was the owner of one of the establishments?” The cleric is doing a fairly good job of keeping Mollymauk distracted as they clamber into the back of an ambulance.

“He, he is. Caleb, Caleb Widogast, owner of the bookstore. And the firbolg is Caduceus Clay, owner of the flower shop.” The cleric nods, closing the doors as they get in.

“Drive,” she instructs and Mollymauk can’t say anything else because there is Caleb. His skin is milk-white and parts of his body are heavily bandaged, the mask held over his mouth is so wrong he wants to vomit. “He is stable,” says Cleric Toluse, her voice gentle. “He will need time to recover, smoke had entered his lungs, but we got to both him and Mister Clay in time.” Mollymauk nods, sniffling as he wipes his eyes.

“I gotta, I should call…”

“Go ahead. Call whom you need to.”

Nott picks up on the first ring, unsurprisingly.

“Molly!” she gasps. “Is everything alright?”

“No,” replies the tiefling, his voice wobbling. “There, ah, there, there was a fire. We’re, they’re, we’re going to the hospital.” Nott is quiet for a very long moment.

“I’m on my way. Zadash General?” Mollymauk nods, until he realises that Nott can’t see him.

“Y-Yeah. Beau and Yasha, they, they know. They’re, they’re coming to get Frumpkin.” He is crying in earnest now, his shoulders shaking.

“Okay. You look after my boy, Mollymauk Tealeaf, you hear me?” Nott hisses and Molly sniffles.

“I’ll try.”

“Good. I’m coming.” And she hangs up without another word. Molly drops his phone on to his lap, curling up in the small backseat of the ambulance as it speeds through the streets to the hospital. The cleric leans over to gently touch his knee and Mollymauk sobs.

“They are going to be okay, Mixter Tealeaf.”

“How can know that, Miss, er...?” Molly sniffles

”Toluse,” says the elf with a reassuring smile. “Lieve’tel Toluse. And I know because my Queen assures me.” She holds up her Cleric symbol to show the feathered porcelain mask of the Raven Queen. 

“Oh,” says Molly, running his fingers through Caleb’s hair. “I, I see.”

”You care for them,” states Lieve’tel.

”He’s... we’ve not been dating very long but he’s important to me. As is Caduceus. We are good friends.”

”Mister Clay is more injured, but he will pull through, I am sure of it. Shäkaste is an excellent Cleric.” Mollymauk nods, keeping his eyes fixed on Caleb as an insistent buzzing began in his pocket. Scrambling for his phone, he realises it’s Fjord calling him. 

“Hi,” answers the tiefling roughly. 

“Yasha told me what happened,” says Fjord gruffly. “I’ve pulled off work and I’m bringing Jester as soon as she’s done with her currently appointment. Calianna is chill with you taking as much time as you need.” Mollymauk loves his boss so much. She is so relaxed with understanding how his head works and how to look after him.

”Okay, thank, thanks Fjord,” he manages to croak out, clinging to Caleb’s hand.

”How are they?” 

“Cleric, Cleric says they’ll be fine, but they’re, they don’t look good.” He hears Fjord sigh softly.

”Okay, Okay. Be careful, okay, Molly? We’ll be there soon.”

”Thanks, thanks Fjord. See you soon.” And the half-orc hangs up. As this happens, the ambulance pulls into Zadash General and Lieve’tel sits forward.

”Okay, Mixter Tealeaf. You can’t get into the surgery area, you’ll have to sit in the waiting room. We’ll come and get you as soon as they are settled,” she says and Mollymauk nods, not saying anything. As soon as the ambulance stops, Lieve’tel jumps out of the ambulance, helping the drivers wheel out the bed containing Caleb. Mollymauk can’t help but whimper as he is taken from him. As he heads inside, he allows the nurses to lead him away to a seat. And then, he slumps down, head in his hands, trembling.

The tiefling sits there for what feels like hours, but was likely only 10 minutes. Then, Yasha and Beau come bowling in.

”Molly,” says Yasha softly, moving over to scoop him up into a hug and without a moments notice, Mollymauk starts to cry again. He stays pressed into her chest, sniffling heavily.

”Y-Yasha...”

”They’re going to be okay, they’re going to be just fine,” she murmurs and he feels a rough hand on his shoulder. Beauregard. 

“Frumpkin?” he manages to ask. 

“He’s at our house. He’s fine, shaken and unhappy but fine,” grunts Beau. Mollymauk manages a nod.

”We, we can’t go in yet, they’re being seen to by the doctors,” he mumbles and Yasha nods, gently settling them both down into a seat.

”Okay. We’ll just wait here then.”

And so they did. They waited, afraid and upset but together.


	13. Warten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is on tenterhooks. Caleb and Caduceus are in the hospital but nobody is telling the Mighty Nein anything and it s really starting to grate on Mollymauk's nerves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!!  
> I'm so glad you're still all enjoying this! And thank you to everyone who read my Widomauk Soulmate AU, that was fun too! I hope to continue to bring you all joy and sadness with Zemnian Traveller.
> 
> Also, yes, Lieve'tel is here because I love her. She is wife and life goals.
> 
> Chapter title means Waiting.

Mollymauk feels a little like vomiting. Slowly, the group of rag-tag idiots playfully known as the Mighty Nein meet at the hospital. Nott is completely silent, with a little halfling man sat beside her, holding her hand. Mollymauk had never met him before he seems to be keeping Nott calm in this terrifying waiting room. Jester is crying quietly, pressed up against Fjord’s chest as the half-orc remains silent. No one is sure of what to say. Yasha hasn’t let go of Mollymauk since her and Beauregard have arrived, but the tiefling notices that she has also been tightly holding on to Beau’s hand. Beau and Caleb are like siblings; Mollymauk knows this. Caleb talks about her a lot, with the gentle exasperation of a brother. But all of the Mighty Nein are so afraid, so on edge. Only Mollymauk has seen either member of their injured family and he has only seen Caleb. There has been no word on Caduceus at all.

And so, they sit and wait. Hours pass. No one speaks. But, at the end of the third hour, something changes. A dark-skinned man in clerics clothes and wild white hair steps into the waiting room. His eyes are milky-white, but they fix straight on the assorted group sat together.

“Family of Mister Widogast and Mister Clay?” he asks and Beau shoots to her feet.

“That’s us,” she says gruffly. “What’s the news?” The man gives a reassuring smile.

“I am Shakäste. I have been caring for them both but predominantly Mister Clay. It was touch and go with him for a while, but they are both stable. They are in a small joint ward.”

“Can we see them?” ask Nott immediately, her voice pitching with worry. Shakäste nods.

“I will take you to them. It’s only meant to be 3 visitors per patient but as you are all seeing them both, I’ll let you all in,” he chuckles, winking. Nott sags, with a heavy sigh. “Hey, baby girl, they’re gonna be just fine.”

“You’re sure?” asks Beau, her voice rough but sharp.

“As sure as I can ever be,” replies Shakäste and Mollymauk feels strangely reassured. “Come on, let’s go see your friends.”

And so, they all follow Shakäste down the maze of corridors until they reach a small side room, labelled 317. The door is closed. Shakäste pauses there.

“They both look rough,” he warns, hand on the handle “The smoke damage to their lungs was pretty bad and both them were burned. But they are stable and will recover, with a little help from time and the gods.” Mollymauk clenches his teeth, inhaling slowly, as calmly as he can, as the door is opened. Nott is the first inside, darting to Caleb’s side. Molly steps in the door and just _stares._

Caleb lies in the bed closest to the door, his ginger hair ruffled, his scraggly beard caught in the oxygen mask strapped over his face. Everything is clean and Caleb is so still. His arms and shoulders are heavily bandaged, as is his neck, the bandages creeping up to his left cheek. Mollymauk can feel the tears in his eyes.

Caduceus lies on the other bed, which is a little too small for his long frame. He too is wearing an oxygen mask and most of his upper torso is swathed in bandages, including his delicate ears. His long pink hair is shorn short and somewhat patchy, revealing patches of burnt skin on his scalp. He looks worse than Caleb, sallow and his breaths are short and wheezy despite the support. There are vicious blisters from the flames on the pads of his feet.

They are both unconscious.

There is a weak choked sound from the door. It’s Jester, biting sharply down on her own hand so that she doesn’t cry out, but the long fangs that tieflings possess tear straight through the skin. Fjord gently touches her elbow.

“Do you want to stay outside, Jessie?” he asks softly. The halfling man who came with Nott is stood outside, not entering. Jester just shakes her head, removing her now bleeding hand from her mouth as she steps into the room. Yasha and Beau hang at the back; Beauregard is crying now, silent angry tears coursing down her cheeks as she lets Yasha hold her tightly to her chest.

“Does anyone know what happened?” Fjord manages to ask after a long moment of them all just staring. Mollymauk mechanically shakes his head.

“He, he,” Nott sniffles, pressed up to Caleb’s bed but not taking his hand. “He had a bad morning? He was, ah, nervous, but, but Cad wasn’t due to come in? I don’t-” she cuts herself off with a sob.

“The, the flower shop was more ablaze and, and the fire service said they were both pulled from there,” Mollymauk says and it doesn’t feel like he’s the one speaking. It feels so distant and disconnected. “But, I don’t… I don’t know.”

“I, I guess we won’t know until they wake up,” says Fjord quietly.

“How long will that be?” whimpers Jester. Nobody answers her. There are 4 plastic chairs in the room and so they are grabbed. Mollymauk takes up vigil beside Caleb’s bed with Nott and the halfling man curled up together in another chair. Yasha makes Beau sit down in one of the other chairs and stands over her. Fjord and Jester share the other chair, Fjord sat on Jester’s lap. Silence fills the room like a blanket once more. They sit together like that for around thirty minutes when a cleric quietly enters the room. It is Lieve’tel, whom Mollymauk has previously met. She nods calmly to the collected group before stepping over to their friends and weaving grey magic over them with one hand, the other settled over the symbol of the Raven Queen around her neck.

“Will they, when, ah, do you know?” Molly tries, his voice broken and helpless.

“It is hard to say,” replies Lieve’tel, knowing immediately what Mollymauk is asking. “They could wake today, or tomorrow. If they do not wake by then, that is worrying. If they do wake, alert me, yes?” Mollymauk nods, hunched in on himself. “They are strong. They will pull through this.” She finishes her ritual and nods once more before turning to leave.

“That’s all you keep saying,” snarls Beau. Lieve’tel freezes in place. “You just keep saying that they’re going to be okay, but, but, they’re so fucking far from it! For all I know, they could be fucking dying!” She gets louder as she speaks, tears flooding down her face. Yasha places a hand on her shoulder reassuringly.

“Beau,” she tries, but Lieve’tel waves her hand, looking straight at Beauregard.

“Who are they to you?” she asks, her voice completely even.

“They’re my family!” yells Beau, standing up so quickly that she overturns her chair. “Caleb is my brother…” Her voice tails off, choked by the insistent tears and Yasha takes her hand once more.

“That is why I tell you this. I would never lie to the family of one of my patients,” says Lieve’tel, her dark eyes calming and patient. “Mister Widogast and Mister Clay are strong. They are not dying. I would know.” She touches the symbol of the Raven Queen around her neck. “You are simply going to have to trust me.” Beau sags against Yasha, trembling slightly.

“Sorry, I didn’t, ah fuck. I’m sorry,” she manages and Lieve’tel smiles.

“Don’t worry. You’re definitely not the first family member to blow up at me and you won’t be the last. It is a stressful time, I know. I would suggest getting some rest, but from looking at you, I know that won’t happen.”

“What do you mean?” asks Fjord, his voice slightly cracked.

“Found family like this would never leave a member behind,” is all Lieve’tel says before she leaves and Mollymauk pauses. She is right. He has formed such as strong bond with these people so quickly, these people who already knew and loved each other. There is no reality in which any of them would leave whilst Caleb and Caduceus are unconscious.

And so, they wait.

* * *

 

Nott falls asleep, curled up on the chair. Jester doodles on napkins and scraps of paper that she has found, but she doesn’t look at the scrawling. It is more to keep her hands occupied. Yasha sits against the wall beside Beau and Mollymauk, silent and staring. Fjord fidgets silently. Beau unwraps and rewraps the bandages on her hands from her boxing session earlier. Mollymauk toys with the set of tarot cards in his pocket. It has been a while since he has done a reading, but they have been in his coat pocket since last week when he promised Calianna a reading.

He wonders what the cards will tell him now.

He draws a single card from the pack and turns it.

The World, reversed.

Incompletion and a lack of closure. Mollymauk huffs. He didn’t need the cards to tell him that he was feeling incomplete and adrift with Caleb and Caduceus in the situation they are in now. Yasha looks up at him.

“Okay?” she asks quietly. He shows her the card.

“Didn’t need tarot to tell me that I’m feeling incomplete,” he mutters sharply, and she gives him a small smile.

“You heard what the clerics said. They will pull through this.” He nods, curling his tail around himself.

“I know,” he mumbles. “I just, it’s a lot.” Yasha nods and gently rubs his knee.

“I know. But we are here and we support each other. Like we always have,” She promises. And Mollymauk smiles a little. Yasha has always been there for him. He has known her for almost 5 years now. For all of the life he can remember. Through being with the travelling carnival and the last 2 years he spent away, travelling on his own, were the hardest of his life. It is why he returned to Zadash, to where she was. And he is so glad he did.

Silence falls once more. It’s getting late now; the sun has long set, and no one has moved. Jester and Fjord are the next to doze off after the halfling and Nott. It can’t be a comfortable position, Jester slouched over Fjord’s shoulder as the half-orc curls up in the plastic chair, his back in a terrible crooked place. But at least they are sleeping. Beau and Yasha remain awake, almost out of sheer annoyance, but Mollymauk can feel himself dozing off. It has been such a long and draining day and he is so tired…

* * *

 

Beauregard smiles slightly as Mollymauk drops into sleep in the chair next to her. Yasha chuckles quietly.

“Good,” is all her partner says. Beau herself is far too stubborn to give in to the itching eyes and heavy limbs. Caleb and Caduceus need her.

She is frustrated. She feels, as illogical as it is, that she has failed Caleb. He is her brother in all but blood. She knows about his family, about the cult he was part of, about his mental health issues, about everything. And in return, he knows everything. He knows about her shitty family, about the fact that she was abandoned, about the fact that the only time she had felt save for years was beating punch bags in the gym.

And now, she has failed him.

He is hurt and weak and helpless and it was all because of fire to make it so much worse and she hates that she wasn’t there.

So, Beau definitely can’t fall asleep. She will not sleep until she sees that Caleb is okay. And now, as he breathes with the help of machines, that is not the truth.

The elven cleric she had argued with returns a little before midnight and smiles at the sleeping members of the Mighty Nein.

“At least they are resting,” she says as she makes several checks over Caleb and Caduceus. “You are the only one awake, dear.” And Beau notices that in her reminiscing, she has missed Yasha dozing off beside her, head resting on the side of Beau’s seat. She juts out her chin.

“Someone’s gotta be, in case they wake up,” she grunts, and the cleric gives a little smile.

“Thank you. It is possible Mister Widogast will wake soon. He is healing well.” Beau perks up at that.

“Yeah? Oh good. Yeah.” She gets a wink from the elf as she leaves.

“Do call if you need anything.” And Beau sags a little. Caleb is healing well. That’s reassuring.

* * *

 

The night stretches on and Beau has now resorted to pinching the skin on the back of her hand to stay awake. It’s likely around three am and the rest of the Mighty Nein are fast asleep. But someone has to look after Caleb and Caduceus. She can feel her head dropping, her eyes closing…

No! She jolts herself up right and realises someone is looking at her.

A familiar pair of worn blue eyes.

Caleb.

“Caleb?” she whispers and the wizard in question coughs weakly behind the mask.

“Hallo, Beauregard,” he croaks out and she shoots to her feet, coming to his beside.

“One sec, the cleric said I had to get them,” she explains and runs to the door, sticking her head out of it.

“Hello?!” she yells down the corridor. “I need a cleric in here!” And, looking mildly ruffled, the same elven woman hurries out. Has she even slept? “He’s, he’s awake.”

“Mister Widogast? Oh good.” She follows Beau back into the room, over to Caleb’s bedside.

“Beauregar-ard?” coughs Caleb and the cleric fusses over him momentarily.

“Stay still, Mister Widogast. I’m cleric Lieve’tel Toluse. You’re going to be just fine, but I think we shall keep that mask on for a while. Help your lungs out. Can you tell me your name?”

“Caleb, Caleb Widogast.”

“And your place of residence?”

“The Ze-Zemnian Traveller Book-k-kstore and C-café, Zadash.”

“Okay, good,” says Lieve’tel with a smile. “You’re healing well, Mister Widogast. Your lungs are damaged and I cannot be sure at this stage how permanent that will be. But for now, you need more rest.” She turns to Beauregard. “Will you call me if he changes?”

“I mean, yeah,” grunts Beau. “But, like, you should probably get some sleep too.” Lieve’tel waves her hand.

“Ah, I’ll be fine. I’ll be in my office, two doors down.” And with that, she leaves again. Beau glances around quickly, checking that none of the others have woken up and she grabs Caleb’s hand.

“Don’t you fucking do anything like that again,” she hisses. “You had me worried sick.” Caleb gives a rough laugh.

“Good to see you too, Beauregard. Where, where are we?”

“Zadash General. D’ya remember what happened?” Caleb nods but before he can say anything, Beau continues. “Tell me later. Your throat is wrecked. You gotta rest.”

“C-c-caduceus,” Caleb rasps out, his voice panicked.

“Cad’s okay, he’s right here. He’s not conscious yet, but the clerics are sure he’s gonna be fine. And Frumpkin is at my place. He’s fine too.” Caleb seems to relax at this, slumping back into the pillows.

“Good,” he mumbles and glances around at everyone. “You, you’re all here?”

“Course we are. Once we found out you and Cad were in the hospital, we had to come.” Caleb blinks, seeming shocked by this.

“How, how long?”

“We’ve been here since, like, early afternoon. Been a lot of waiting. But you know we care about you right? We’re family, dummins. We’d do anything to make sure you’re okay,” Beau says fiercely, and Caleb cracks a watery smile.

“Thank you, Beauregard.” She squeezes his hand and gives him a grin.

“Anything for you. Team human?”

“Team human,” replies the wizard, squeezing back faintly.

“Now, get some rest. You gotta heal. I’ll be right here.” Caleb gives her a wide smile, a little marred by the mask, but it’s so genuine. And he is fast asleep again in moments.

As Beau watches over her sleeping family, she begins to believe what the clerics had said. They were going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realised this fic had recently been lacking in Empire Siblings and that Was Unacceptable.


	14. Abheilend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb regains consciousness for a short while. Fjord worries. Coffee is definitely needed for this protective vigil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo, thank you all so much for reading!  
> And this week's episode, amirite? YOU GO FJORD. I couldn't not give him a little section after everything.  
> I hope you continue to like this; I'm not at uni right now so hopefully, there might be more updates soon!
> 
> Chapter title means Healing.

Caleb wakes to the sound of voices and machines beeping. He keeps his eyes closed, fighting the nauseating pain which continues to shoot through his nerves. Breathing is difficult; his chest is tight and each inhale feels like it is only filling half of his lungs. The voices that surround him are familiar.

“Jessie, want to go grab some coffee?” Fjord. And Jester, by the question. He remembers vaguely waking up in the middle of the night in the hospital. He had spoken to Beau and the others had been there and… Caduceus! Caleb’s eyes flicker open and the conversations continue, but a very familiar and relieved voice says,

“ _Caleb…_ ” Mollymauk’s red eyes are fixed on his own and it makes Caleb smile weakly under the unwieldy oxygen mask.

“Hallo,” he croaks out and Mollymauk grips his left hand suddenly which shifts his arm and pain shoots through it, making the wizard hiss through his teeth.

“Oh, gods, I’m so sorry, Caleb, are you okay?” Molly gasps and Caleb manages a pained grunt. “Wait, uh, Beau, can you-”

“I got it,” Beau responds immediately from Caleb’s other side and out of the corner of his eye, he sees her get up and move. But his focus is on Mollymauk. The rest of the conversations in the room go silent. He blinks slowly, unable to move his head much due to the machinery and the pain in his neck but from this angle he can see Nott, sat on the end of his bed, holding hands with a halfling whom he presumes is Yeza.

“Nott,” he rasps. He must have worried her terribly.

“Hey, Caleb,” she says simply, but her huge eyes betray how worried she is.

“’M sorry,” he tries but Nott shakes her head and gently places her hand on his leg.

“No, don’t apologise. It wasn’t your fault.” But wasn’t it? He was the one who distracted Caduceus which allowed the fire to start in the first place. It is his fault that Caduceus is in the hospital.

“Caduceus,” Caleb whines and he feels Mollymauk stroke his thumb over Caleb’s hand.

“Caduceus is okay, Caleb. He’s here. He’s just asleep,” says the tiefling, reassuringly. There is the sound of footsteps and he catches sight of Beau and another individual; a cleric by their robes, entering.

“Ah, Mister Widogast, you’re awake,” says the cleric and his voice is rich and reassuring. “I’m Shakäste.” Caleb looks up to this individual, making a faint pained sound. The cleric frowns, his bushy white hair shifting. “Ah, looks like you’re in a bit of pain, my friend. Let’s see what we can do about that.” He turns and fiddles with something and suddenly Caleb feels a lot more relaxed. They must have increased the pain medication because everything feels fluff and relaxed.

“Danke,” he mumbles and Shakäste gives him a smile.

“You’re healing well, Mister Widogast. As is Mister Clay.” He turns to Beauregard whom Caleb can see out of the corner of his eye. “Come get me if anything changes.” Beau gives a curt nod and Caleb sinks back into his pillow. The world is beginning to lose focus again and that’s okay with him. Sleep is okay.

* * *

 

Fjord smiles from his spot across the room. He had intended to go get coffee with Jester until Caleb had woken and they were all a bit more concerned with making sure Caleb was okay. But as he begins to doze off again, Fjord relaxes. He’s stood up, leant against the wall to allow Jester to have the chair they had been sharing. His leg is sore and aching but he really doesn’t want to complain. Not when Caduceus hasn’t regained consciousness yet. Not when Caleb clearly can’t move without significant pain.

Fjord sighs softly, placing all his weight on his good leg. He had asked Jester to get coffee because he hates hospitals. He hasn’t spoken to any of the Nein, aside from his girlfriend, concerning his issues with this but the last time he had been in a hospital, it had been for someone to dig a bullet out of his leg, whilst someone else told him that he was one of the few members of his ship to escape the explosion. It was where he was told that his mentor, the closest thing he had to a father, Vandren, was dead.

But it is not about him.

It is about Caleb and Caduceus and they are his family now. He would never want to cause them any pain. Jester turns to look up at him.

“Shall we get that coffee now?” she asks and Fjord nods.

“Anyone else?” he asks the group and gets grunts of agreement from Beau and Yasha. Which immediately starts an argument.

“You should sleep, Beau, not drink coffee,” Yasha points out and Beau scowls.

“M’not leavin’ him.”

“We’ll be right here, you need to sleep. You’ve been awake for far too long,” Yasha pleads quietly and Beauregard looks like she’s about to fight it, when Fjord pipes up,

“We’ll wake you up if he wakes. But its unlikely he will wake up for a bit. Those pain killers make you drowsy as all hell.” Beau seems to accept that and sighs heavily but acquiesces.

“Alright, no coffee.”

“Alright,” says Fjord. “Coffee for Yasha, anyone else.”

“Oh, ah, yes please,” says Mollymauk, looking up from staring at Caleb. Fjord gives him a reassuring smile which Molly manages to return faintly. The half-orc reaches down to take Jester’s hand, smiling a little.

“Let’s go, Jessie.” They leave the room and Fjord chews on the inside of his lip, his tusk worrying the skin. Jester squeezes his hand slightly.

“Are you okay, Fjord?”

“Oh, yeah,” he says, offering her a smile. “Just worried about Caleb and Caduceus.” She nods, sighing a little.

“Me too. But I spoke to the Traveller this morning and he said that they were going to be okay and I believe him.” Fjord smiles a little. Jester has so much conviction in her god.

“I’m sure they will be okay. I just don’t like hospitals.” Jester bounces up on her tip toes to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“I know, baby. But we’re going to be okay. Everyone is going to be okay.” Fjord doesn’t respond, just squeezes her hand tighter as they reach the shitty little coffee machines that the hospital has. They quietly get coffee, milk and sugar and then Jester speaks again.

“Fjord?”

“Mhm?”

“You know you don’t have to be all stoic. You’re clear in pain and upset and that’s okay. You don’t have to pretend you’re not.” Fjord blinks, unsure what to say to that. Jester offers him a warm, reassuring smile. “We understand. And if you told everyone why you hate hospitals, I think they would be very understanding. And if not, I’ll fight them,” she says, in all seriousness and it makes Fjord crack a smile in return.

“I know, Jessie,” he kisses the tips of her horns which makes her giggle softly. “I know they would understand but I, ah… I don’t think I’m ready to tell them.” Jester nods, picking up the coffees.

“Okay, Fjord. That’s okay too. Let’s go give these coffees out, then you need to sit down. Do you have some pain killers?” He shakes his head and Jester huffs, putting the coffees back down. Her hands glow with a warm green energy and as she touches Fjord’s hip, the pain in his leg subsides.

“Thank you,” he grunts softly. She just gives him a wide grin and heads back towards the room, carrying the coffees. Fjord follows her, carrying his own. He has known Jester the longest of all the Mighty Nein and there isn’t anything that she doesn’t know about him.

He kind of likes that.

It is nice to have someone who knows everything even if his friends, his family, don’t quite know it all yet.

They head back into the room and distribute the coffees. It is quiet, but not as a tense as it was before. Caleb appears to be sleeping soundly, but it is Caduceus that worries Fjord.

He likes Caduceus a lot. He buys flowers from his shop for Jester a lot and the firbolg is reassuring and constant. His quiet demeanour relaxes the half-orc and it is just so wrong to see him laid out like this, weak and burnt and Fjord _hates_ it. This is his family. He should be able to protect them. It feels far too close to his previous family, his comrades in the army. It is too close to seeing his friends bodies.

His coffee hits the floor and startles him.

“Oh, uh, shit, sorry,” he grunts and moves to grab it when Beau nudges him.

“I got it,” she says, with a sharp grin. Beau has been helping him at the gym for years and he trusts her. He lets her help, slumping down into one of the plastic seats. No one else mentions it as Jester and Beau clean up the coffee, Fjord sitting there with his head in his hands. He doesn’t know what to do.

“No harm done,” grunts Beau and Fjord peers through his fingertips to see her finish clearing up the spill.

“I’m sorry-” Fjord tries but his apologies are waved away.

“It happens. It’s all sorted now.”

“I’ll grab you another coffee,” offers Yasha and Fjord gives a weak smile.

“I’d, uh, thanks, I’d appreciate that.” He gets a rare smile in response as Yasha leaves. And so, he waits, focused on his hands, and trying to keep them still. They’re trembling somewhat terribly.

“Y’all right?” asks Beau, and her hand rests on Fjord’s shoulder. The half-orc manages a wordless nod and Beau frowns but doesn’t push it. She just pulls her chair closer.

“Wanna hear about the time I nearly drop kicked a kid?” she asks and Fjord knows what she’s doing. She’s trying to distract him but honestly, it’s really rather kind of her and so he nods. Fjord half listens as Beau launches into this tale about some brat at the gym she works in. About halfway through, he is wordlessly handed a coffee by Yasha and he sips it, burning his mouth but he doesn’t mind. The storytelling escalates into a playful sniping fest between Mollymauk, Nott and Beau and Fjord sits quietly. He sips his coffee and waits.

Time passes.

It doesn’t ever feel real in a hospital. It feels stretched thin and sharp, like a rubber band pulled to its limit. Fjord hates it. He has tuned everyone else out, but it is reassuring to know that they are there. Beauregard is sleeping. Caleb is sleeping. Yasha is stoic. Jester and Nott and Mollymauk are speaking.

And then something changes.

He is barely listening to Nott and Mollymauk bicker over something when a beeping sound from across the room catches his attention.

**_Caduceus._ **

Fjord stands up, ignoring the shooting pain in his leg and rushes over to Caduceus’s side. The firbolg’s chest isn’t rising and the machine is screaming.

“Caduceus!” he manages to choke out and Jester is on her feet, hands glowing.

“I’ll get a cleric,” says Mollymauk, already rushing out of the room as Jester comes over, trying to keep the firbolg stable. Fjord worries, unable to do anything and the tension in the room is mounting. Caduceus is _dying_ and he can do nothing. It’s crushing and panic-worthy and Fjord can feel his throat closing up, his eyes tearing up. Caduceus is his friend, part of his family and he is _dying_. What is Fjord supposed to do?

But then Molly comes tearing back in, with Shakäste in tow and the cleric huffs.

“Oh, that’s no good, Mister Clay. Jester, baby, you mind keeping him stable whilst I give his lungs a boost?” Jester nods, focusing on Caduceus as Shakäste weaves his own magic around the firbolg. And for a split second it looks like it isn’t going to help. The machine continues to scream and Jester tears up, her hands shaking as she focuses her limited power on the firbolg. Shakäste curses and redoubles his efforts, his milky-white eyes narrowed in exertion. The room smells like magic, sharp and acrid and like ozone.

But then, the beeping stops and Caduceus inhales. And exhales.

And Fjord inhales. And exhales. They’re going to be okay. Shakäste smiles, but he looks weary. The magic clearly took a lot out of him.

“Good… Call me if he wakes. Though, with a scare like that, it might be a little while before he does.” Jester nods, sagging as her own clerical magic drops. “And thank you, baby. You may not be trained in clerics magic, but you’ve certainly got it,” Shakäste chuckles and Jester preens at the comment. Fjord manages a faint smile.

And slowly, Shakäste leaves, letting the group slump back into their seats, to continue their stubborn vigil over their family.


	15. Besorgt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some members of the Mighty Nein realise that they really should go home and rest, but that doesn't stop other members reminding Caleb that he is loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I'm still here, I still love this!  
> I am again, sorry not sorry for scaring everyone with Caduceus last chapter.  
> Hope this makes up for it a little bit!  
> Title means Caring, in the context of being concerned.

It’s early evening. Mollymauk can feel the pins and needles in his tail from being sat for so long but Caleb is holding his hand, even in his sleep and Molly cannot bring himself to move away. Caleb had woken briefly once more that day, but only to mumble some tired nonsense, smile at Molly and fall asleep again.

Molly is such a mess for this man.

Everyone is quiet after the scare with Caduceus and the group are spread out between Caduceus and Caleb, half awake and uncomfortable.

“Some of us should go home,” suggests Yasha, quietly. “I must go check on Frumpkin.”

“Oh, shit, yeah, Frumpkin,” curses Beau, yawning widely. “I…” And she pauses. She clearly does not want to leave Caleb in this state but also, she is exhausted; Mollymauk can see that.

“I shall go see to him,” Yasha replies, gently. “I know you want to stay.”

“I’m staying too!” squeaks out Nott, sitting upright. “But you can go, Yeza, honey. Thank you for coming with me.” The halfling man, Yeza, smiles reassuringly.

“I will go back. But it is not a problem, I am here to support you,” he replies, squeezing Nott’s hand. Fjord and Jester are quiet, but Fjord broaches the topic carefully.

“Jessie, you should rest…”

“I don’t want to leave them,” Jester says immediately, but her voice is small. Fjord smiles reassuringly.

“Molly and Beau and Nott will be here and they’ll text us if anything happens, right?” Mollymauk nods and hears grunts of assent from Beau and Nott. Jester relaxes slightly.

“Okay,” she replies, gripping Fjord’s hand. “Let’s go home and get some food and some sleep.” Fjord nods and Molly watches as relief washes through the half-orc. He was clearly unhappy in this situation and is feeling better at the idea of being able to leave. Mollymauk doesn’t know why, but he also doesn’t want to press and ask questions. Fjord is a fairly private man.

“You’ll call, right?” Yasha asks, looking over at Caduceus worriedly. The firbolg’s breathing is steady once more but the shock was still far too close to home. Mollymauk nods, huffing a little.

“Of course we will call. Go,” he assures her with a wave. Yasha immediately relaxes and nods.

“We’ll be back tomorrow morning as early as we can,” promises Fjord, looking determined as he takes Jester’s arm. And quietly, the four leave and the room falls quiet once more. No one speaks for a good half hour until there is a twitch in the fingers in Molly’s hand and the tiefling whips around to stare at the wizard. His blue eyes are cracked open and he is smiling weakly.

“Mollymauk?”

“Hey, dear heart,” murmurs Molly in return and Caleb inhales slowly. “Nott and Beau are here too. Jester and Fjord and Yasha and Yeza went home to rest.”

“How long have we been here?”

“Two days. One night,” replies Beau gruffly and Caleb’s eyes slide over to her.

“Hallo, Beau.”

“Hey Caleb, good to see your eyes open again.” He grunts a little. “You in pain, I can grab a cleric?”

“Nein, I am fine,” Caleb mumbles, squeezing Molly’s hand gently. “I am okay.” Mollymauk raises his hand to kiss the back of the wizard’s fingers gently.

“How are you feeling?” asks Nott worriedly.

“Eh,” says Caleb empathetically. “My chest is sore and tight. My left side hurts.”

“What happened, Caleb?” Nott sounds scared to ask. Caleb screws his face up.

“It’s my fault, I distracted him,” he mumbles, coughing weakly. Mollymauk gently rubs Caleb’s hand with his thumb. “I distracted Caduceus and its my fault he’s hurt.” Molly starts to put the pieces together. The fire started in the Blooming Grove. Caduceus was likely cooking or something and Caleb distracted him from this, which meant Caduceus forgot to check whatever was cooking until the fire began. Oh… Oh no.

“Caleb Widogast, you listen to me,” says Beau, her voice intensely… kind? Caleb looks up at her. “This is not your fault. Caduceus would tell you exactly the same. This is not your fault. You are not to blame.” Caleb shrinks into his hospital bed and Beau huffs. “I know about all your bullshit, Caleb, you know that. Would I lie to you? Have I ever lied to you?”

“Nein,” says Caleb, his voice a whisper.

“Then believe me when I say this, this was not your fault. Do not beat yourself up about this. This was not your fault and what happened before was not your fault either.” Molly frowns slightly but doesn’t ask. He has seen over the last few weeks that Caleb is nervous about certain things; that he doesn’t talk about his past or family, which helps Molly immensely. But he doesn’t know why. And one day, he hopes to find out. But not until Caleb himself wants to tell him.

“Okay, Beauregard,” Caleb replies quietly.

“Good. Now, you hungry?” Caleb nods slightly and Beau gets up.

“Cool. I’ll go find some food for us all.” And she heads out. Nott crawls carefully up on to Caleb’s bed, avoiding the wires and tubes to look over Caleb carefully. He is no longer wearing the unwieldy oxygen mask; now he merely has a nasal feed of oxygen to support his lungs.

“Hallo, Nott,” chuckles Caleb weakly as Nott approaches.

“Hey, Caleb.” And she settles down beside him, making the wizard smile sleepily. Caleb remains awake, quietly staring forward.

“Everyone was here?” he asks, to the air.

“Everyone,” confirms Mollymauk. “We are worried about you and Caduceus.”

“You have work?” says Caleb weakly.

“You are more important,” refutes Nott immediately. “You’re in the hospital, Caleb and we need to look after you.”

“Besides, Caduceus hasn’t woken up yet,” says Molly softly, looking over at the firbolg. Caleb grunts in pain as he twists to look over at Caduceus.

“He, he, isn’t okay…”

“He will be okay,” says Beau firmly as she re-enters, arms full of shitty sandwiches. “He’s gonna be just fine, Caleb. Here.” She throws Molly a sandwich which he catches and gently hands to Caleb, who blinks down at it.

“You need to eat, darling,” says Molly softly as he helps Caleb to sit up. The wizard seems hesitant at first, unhappy with needing help but Mollymauk just glares at him until he accepts the tiefling carefully feeding him. The room is quiet as they all eat. The sandwiches are dull and dry, but they are sustenance and that’s really the important thing.

“I’m tired,” Caleb mumbles, scowling as he finishes the sandwich and water provided for him. “I do not want to be tired.” Mollymauk chuckles, gently brushing Caleb’s hair back.

“It’s alright, darling. You need to rest and heal.”

“But, Caduceus…”

“We will wake you if Caduceus wakes up,” says Nott firmly, still curled up against his side. Caleb huffs, clearly frustrated at being an invalid, but his eyes are already drooping.

“I don’t… I don’t want to sleep,” mumbles Caleb, but before anything else can be said, he dozes off immediately, hand still wrapped firmly around Mollymauk’s. Which makes the tiefling smile. Nott looks up at Molly with a grin.

“He cares a lot about you,” she says and Beau snorts.

“Dude, he’s head over heels for you.” Mollymauk tries not to blush and fails.

“I care a lot about him too,” replies Molly, not maintaining eye contact.

“You better,” grunts Beau. “If you don’t, I’ll fucking beat your ass. Caleb has been through enough.” Molly nods, smiling a little. He is glad that Caleb has such supportive friends as Nott scowls at him across the bed.

“I know. I’m glad you care about Caleb and I won’t hurt him. I couldn’t bring myself to.”

“Good,” says Nott sharply. “Because you’ll have all of us to answer to. Not just me and Beau, but all of the group.” Molly nods. He knows that the group cares deeply about each other. He also knows that he doesn’t know everything about Caleb, unlike Nott and Beau who know a lot more about the wizard.

“I know,” Molly says softly and Nott nods, relaxing a little.

“Good.”

“You know, you’re not that bad, obnoxious one,” jibes Beau.

“Back at you, unpleasant one,” replies Molly without a second thought. And there is a kind of understanding between them. It’s going to be okay.

* * *

 

Fjord comes back to Zadash General early the next morning. So early that he left Jester the car and took the bus because his girlfriend is still sleeping. It is early enough that when he reaches the ward and enters the small room, everyone in the room is asleep. Nott is curled up beside Caleb on the bed; Mollymauk is slumped over his arm fast asleep and Beau is curled up in a plastic chair. He enters quietly, but Nott’s huge yellow eyes shoot open at the creak of the door. When she sees the half-orc, she simply huffs and curls back up, settling back down to sleep. Fjord exhales slowly and pulls a chair closer to Caduceus’s bed, keeping a cautious eye on the firbolg.

He’s worried.

It is why he has returned to the hospital even despite hating the atmosphere of the place. He needs to make sure that Caduceus is okay, especially after the panic-worthy morning yesterday. The firbolg has been a close friend of his for a long time, helping Fjord to get back on his feet after the discharge from the navy and the bullet in his leg and the horrible nightmares he has where his mind warps the explosion that killed his crew into huge serpent-like tentacles, crushing his ship.

Caduceus has always humoured him. He has not minded his 3am calls, gasping out desperately because he doesn’t want to worry Jester. He has introduced Fjord to his own gentle affection and trust in his goddess and whilst Fjord is still sceptical about religion, Caduceus has helped immeasurably.

And to see him like this destroys Fjord. Caduceus is family by this point. He cares completely about him.

And so, he sits, silent vigil, his good leg tapping incessantly as the hospital continues to make him nervous.

* * *

 

Fjord is about to go get his second coffee in an hour and a half when Caduceus makes a faint wheezing noise. The half-orc is by his side in a second.

“Caduceus?” Slowly, the firbolg’s pink eyes open.

“Fjord, hey,” he says, his usually deep voice raspy and faint.

“Oh, thank the gods. How are you feeling?”

“Eh, so-so,” grunts Caduceus and Fjord knows that means he feels terrible. Always one to put other’s first. “Caleb? Where is, where are-” Caduceus tries before he dissolves into a coughing fit and Fjord grabs the water on Caleb’s beside table, helping the firbolg drink.

“You’re in the hospital. Caleb is here too. There was a fire, do you remember what happened?”

“Yeah,” rumbles Caduceus when he finishes the water. “Had gone to check on Caleb and I left my stovetop on. St-stupid mistake.” Fjord relaxes a little, glad that Caduceus seems lucid and fairly calm about the whole situation. “Caleb is?”

“Caleb is here. He was injured too, trying to get you out of the fire. But you need to rest and heal. The Wildmother must have been watching over you, Cad. It was touch and go for a while.” Caduceus manages a faint smile, already looking exhausted from just the conversation.

“She always does,” replies the firbolg, collapsing back against the sheets.

“Sleep, Caduceus. We’ll be here when you wake.” And with an easy smile, the firbolg drifts off once more.

Fjord stands and looks over his sleeping family. He is so lucky to have found them all, he thinks, as he heads out of the room to alert a cleric about Caduceus waking. He is so lucky.


	16. Binden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mollymauk worries about the future. Caleb worries about the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!!! I love you all so much; thank you for reading and commenting!  
> Also, thank you to anyone who is also reading my weird spin off of canon: The Wonderful Life of Caleb de Rolo!   
> Here is some good hurt/comfort for you; I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Title means To Fix

Caleb wakes slowly, fighting the fugue in his mind brought on by the painkillers. His left arm is unnaturally warm and there is a small body tucked into his right side. He can't seem to focus enough to work out the time but he can hear the sound of soft voices.

"- Wildmother must have been looking after you, Cad. It was touch and go for a while." Fjord. He must have come back to the hospital.

"She always does." And that's Caduceus! He's awake and Caleb struggles to drag open his heavy eyelids.

"Sleep, Caduceus. We'll be here when you wake," says Fjord and Caleb slumps a little. Caduceus is clearly still exhausted and he needs his rest. Caleb listens to the heavy footfalls of Fjord as he leaves the room and then forces his eyes open, wincing at the bright light. As his eyes adjust, he can see the blurry purple blob that is Mollymauk slumped over his arm. That would explain the heat. He glances to the other side and he can see the little green body of Nott and the blur of grey and blue which is Beauregard. He is safe, surrounded by his family. As he lies there, washed in early morning light, he moves to gently stroke Nott's hair. The goblin stirs at that, grumbling a little as she blinks open her huge yellow eyes.

"Hallo, Nott," Caleb murmurs and Nott brightens immediately.

"Hey, Caleb! How are you feeling this morning?"

"Good. Better," Caleb replies, gently stretching out his legs and wincing as his left leg screeches in pain. His body still feels stiff and worn out, his breathing shallow and unsteady as his nerves hum with pain at every movement. No less than he deserves.

"Oh, Caleb, you're up," says Fjord as he returns to the room, coffee in hand.

"Hallo, Fjord," he smiles. "It is good to see you back so soon."

"Was worried about Caduceus and you," mutters the half-orc sheepishly.

"Did I hear Caduceus just now?" asks Caleb, twisting a little to look over. He can see the long form of Caduceus but he's too far for it to be focused.

"Ah, yeah, he woke for a moment," replies Fjord, glancing over at the firbolg himself.

"He was worried about you, but he seems fairly calm and lucid." Caleb relaxes a little, happy that Caduceus is okay.

"Good. Thank you, Fjord," Caleb says meaningfully and the half-orc pauses for a second and then shrugs.

"You are my friend. Besides, it is Molly you should be thanking. He was the one to let us all know." Caleb blinks, looking down at the purple tiefling who is curled over his arm, fast asleep.

"Ja?" He reaches over from Nott who grumbles unhappily as he stops holding her but she doesn't complain. "Mollymauk, Liebling..." Caleb murmurs, more to himself than anything as he slowly runs his fingertips over Molly's horn. The tattoo artist shuffles in his sleep and curls up closer to Caleb happily. Caleb struggles to fight the smile from his face.

He thinks he may be falling in love with Molly.

But he forces that thought deep inside of him and blinks owlishly back up at Fjord.

“What time is it?”

“Oh, early, just after 6:30,” Fjord replies, pulling up a chair. Caleb huffs a little. That explains the sleepiness from Nott and the still sleeping Mollymauk and Beauregard.

“Ah,” he says with a little sigh.

“You want a coffee?” Fjord asks, moving to get up immediately.

“A tea would be nice?” Caleb requests carefully and Fjord nods with a grin, moving to the door immediately.

“I’ll be right back with it.” Caleb nods and goes quiet. What happens now? Caduceus is still badly hurt because of him. Himself, of course he deserved the pain. It is poetic that it is fire which had caused this.

Fire which Caleb himself had used during his time in the Cult.

Fire which Caleb had been known for.

Fire which Caleb, Bren, _Caleb_ had used to kill his own parents.

The police officers had said that it was not his fault, that he had been forced by Trent Ikithon and he had been brainwashed, but Caleb can still hear them screaming, can still hear Trent laughing, can still hear himself crying…

“Caleb?” Fjord. Caleb hadn’t realised he is crying until he looks up and Fjord is all blurry. The half-orc doesn’t speak. He just brings over Caleb’s tea and helps him take a sip. The liquid is a pleasantly warm temperature but not scalding and the wizard wonders if Fjord has added cold water, so it is drinkable. Slowly, Caleb drinks, blinking away the tears furiously.

“Okay?” asks Fjord in that gentle but gruff way he has. Caleb nods, sniffling quietly. He is very glad that Nott has dozed back off.

“Ja, I am okay.”

“Want to talk about it?” Fjord mutters, not letting his yellow eyes focus on Caleb which makes him feel so much better.

“Uh, nein. If that is okay.” The half-orc nods immediately, taking a long drink of his own coffee.

“Yeah, no worries. You ain’t ever pushed me, Caleb, I ain’t gonna push you.” Caleb gives Fjord a weak but grateful smile. He appreciates the half-orc’s policy of ‘you leave me be, I’ll leave you be. At some point, we’ll both be ready to talk.’ It makes Caleb feel at ease. Fjord sits down beside Molly with a comforting nod and they both sit in silence.

The silence stretches on for what feels like hours. It frustrates Caleb that with all of the painkillers, he can’t focus enough to continue his usual ability to tell the time at any point. He feels exposed and yet bleary at the same time. The silence stretches as the sun climbs in the sky and finally Beauregard begins to wake. She grunts and groans, blinking sleepily as she sits up.

“Fuck,” is the first thing she says, which makes Caleb chuckle and Fjord snort in surprise. “Alright, shut it, both of you.” Beau sits up and scrubs at her eyes and gives a low heavy sigh. “Time is it?”

“About 8:30, 9,” replies Fjord, unable to keep the smile from his face.

“M’gonna go get coffee and then deal with you,” Beau grunts and gets up, heading straight out.

“Same old Beau,” snorts Fjord, leaning back and Caleb nods. He has completely lost feeling in his left arm. It is numb from the gentle pressure of Molly’s body, but he doesn’t want to wake his boyfriend. Beau comes back, drinking coffee like she will die without it.

“Mornin’ Fjord, Caleb. S’up?”

“Cad woke up,” replies Fjord. “Just for a few minutes, really early on. I told that Elven nurse and she said she’d come check on him and Caleb around lunchtime.” Beau nods, looking content with that as she finishes her coffee.

“Good. No Jester or Yasha yet?”

“Nah, but it’s still early,” grunts the half-orc as Beau drops into some stretches.

“How you doin’ Caleb?” she asks from the ground and Caleb gives a little shrug.

“Better. Sore, but better,” he replies honestly, and she nods, getting back up and rolling her shoulders.

“Good. All good then."

It takes Molly and Nott another hour to wake up and by that time, Jester and Yasha have joined them. As soon as Nott is awake, Jester and her go to get some food, though Nott seems unhappy at the idea of leaving Caleb. Mollymauk wakes slowly, about ten minutes later, his tail slowly flicking from side to side as he rights himself sleepily. Caleb hisses as blood rushes back into his left arm, causing sharp pins and needles.

“Mmr?” mumbles the tiefling expressively, rubbing his blood-red eyes.

“Guten morgen, Mollymauk,” says Caleb with just an edge of a smile.

“Mmmm… Caleb!” Molly sits straight up and looks at him. “Oh, sorry. How are you this morning?”

“Good, ja.”

“He’s been awake for almost 5 hours now, so greatly improved,” says Fjord, looking up from his conversation with Yasha. Molly beams at that and shuffles over to press a soft kiss to Caleb’s forehead, careful of his bandages.

“Hey, Mister Caleb…” he murmurs, his eyes soft.

“Hallo, Mister Mollymauk,” Caleb replies quietly, raising his right hand to cup Molly’s cheek.

“I’m so glad you’re still here with me,” says the tiefling and Caleb’s heart swells at the soft, genuine nature of Molly’s voice. Oh yes, he has definitely fallen in love.

“Danke. For everything,” is all Caleb replies and Molly can’t help but give him a chaste kiss. And honestly, in Caleb’s mind, everything is, for this moment, okay.

* * *

 

The high-elven cleric, Lieve’tel who had helped Molly through everything returns at midday and the tiefling refuses to let go of Caleb’s hand as she does her check-ups.

"Ah, good afternoon everyone," Lieve'tel greets them all, giving Molly and Beau a grin. "Mister Widogast, so good to see you awake for a while." Caleb gives a tired smile, squeezing Molly's hand gently.

"Ah, hallo, Cleric Toluse. Ja, I have been up since early morning. I am starting to flag now though."

"Well, let me come do my check-up and you can rest, okay?" Caleb nods and Molly reaches up to brush his hair out of his face. Lieve'tel comes over, checks several of the machines and runs her lightly glowing hands over Caleb's chest. She frowns.

"Are you short of breath, Mister Widogast?"

"Ah, ja? I cannot breathe deeply without pain or tightness."

"Pain elsewhere?"

"My left side? My left leg mainly," Caleb admits quietly and Molly frowns. Why hadn't Caleb said something?

"As I feared, you may have some permanent damage to your lungs, Mister Widogast. It means you might get out of breath easily and are unable to do strenuous exercise. Your burns are healing well, but they will scar, I am afraid," explains Lieve'tel with all the gentle care but hard line of an experienced cleric. Caleb sighs a little.

"Okay. That is okay." And Molly blinks. To him, that was fairly severe news, but Caleb seems to be okay with it. He will definitely press him about how he actually is when Lieve'tel is not here.

"You are taking this remarkably well," challenges the aforementioned cleric.

"I am lucky to be alive," replies Caleb, his voice closed off. Lieve'tel seems to understand the desire to drop the subject and nods.

"You are well supported, Mister Widogast. Let your partner and friends care for you. Now, Mister Clay, you said he woke up?" She turns to Fjord and Molly can feel Caleb relax under his hand.

"At around 6, 6:15 am," replies Fjord immediately. "He was only awake for 5 or so minutes."

"Still," says Lieve'tel. "That's excellent progress.” She repeats the same procedure on Caduceus and seems more satisfied.

"There is no severe damage to his head or brain. His breathing too is shallow, but steady. I think he will sleep for a while longer, but as soon as he can remain conscious for more than 6 hours in one go, like Mister Widogast, I will discharge them both," she concludes, straightening up.

The room seems to let out a breath that no one could remember actively holding.

"Thank you, Lieve'tel," Molly says in lieu of any other response and she flashes him a playful grin. "I would say anytime, but don't be back. Any of you." Beau barks out a surprised laugh and Nott grins.

"I swear on the Traveller," says Jester, in all seriousness and Lieve'tel looks amused but understanding.

"Good." And with that, she sweeps out of the room. Molly turns to Caleb who blinks back at him.

"Are you okay?" asks the tiefling quietly.

"Ja... I am lucky, Molly. I thought I was going to die there. Without getting to say goodbye to anyone." Mollymauk grips Caleb's hand tighter.

"I will not lose you. We'll get through this together." Caleb nods, smiling faintly. "Now, get some rest, dear. You need to heal." At that, the wizard drops, like a puppet who has had its strings cut and in seconds, he is fast asleep. Mollymauk gazes over at his partner.

What happens now, he wonders? Caleb and Caduceus have nowhere to go. Nor does Nott. They will need somewhere to stay whilst they rebuild The Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Cafe and the Blooming Grove Flower Shop. And rebuilding is going to be expensive. He glances desperately over to Yasha and from her calm gaze, he knows that she has been thinking the same thing.

"We shall help them rebuild," she says, quietly but it seems to fill the room. "We are family. It is what family do."

"Uh, of course, duh!" chimes up Jester. "I have some savings."

"And Cad can stay with us," says Fjord immediately.

"Caleb can come live with me," Molly blurts out, desperately. But from Beau's smirk and Nott wink, they were expecting that.

 "I'll go stay with Yeza. He wants me to move back in anyway," Nott says easily.

"Yash and I can help strip the shops on our days off," grunts Beau. And the tightness in Molly's chest eases.

Is this what having a family is like?

His memories don't go back further than 5 years ago when Yasha and Gustav and the carnival helps him out of the ground. And he spent three years with them, but after Yasha stayed in Zadash after only 2 years of Molly being alive, it stopped feeling like home.

But here, Zadash, with the Mighty Nein, feels more like home than any of the many places he has travelled to. Even if he has only lived here for a couple of months. And he likes the feeling of family.

* * *

 

It is dark when Caleb wakes again. He can hear the voices of the Mighty Nein, Beau's gruff tones, Nott's screech, Molly's lilting accent. He blinks his eyes open to an argument.

"- Need to sleep!" huffs Yasha, staring down Molly and Beau. "Properly! In a bed!"

"Yasha's right! You too, Nott! Yasha and I will stay tonight. You need to go sleep properly. And take a shower," Jester exclaims and then her pink eyes meet Caleb's. "Back me up here!"

"Mmnn, ja," replies Caleb, not really awake enough to process what's happening. And when his brain catches up, he straightens. "Ja! You need to go rest. I am okay. You have barely slept in nearly three days." Molly looks grumpy and Nott looks betrayed.

"But you're my boy and I have to look after you," she squeaks. Caleb smiles.

"You can look after me better if you look after you. Go get some sleep."

"Not if Jester's staying!" Nott says stubbornly.

"Fine, I'll stay," grunts Fjord. "Yasha and I will stay."

"Everyone can come over to ours for a sleepover! And then we can all come back tomorrow," Jester immediately suggests and Caleb doesn't miss the grateful look she shoots Fjord.

And it works, because Nott relents and Beau huffs and Molly averts his gaze from Yasha's. Caleb glances at Jester.

_Thank you._

_No worries, just need to keep them distracted for another hour and they'll all fall asleep._

Caleb grins. She's right, of course. Mollymauk looks dead on his feet and Beau's hair is so greasy it is slipping of her top knot in lanky strands. Nott can't stop yawning.

"We'll check in on Frumpkin," Beau says.

"As I said, he was fine this morning. Missing Caleb but fine," replies Yasha in her soft tone.

"Danke," Caleb pipes up. "Schlafen gut." Molly moves to give him a small kiss and Caleb reciprocated eagerly.

"See you tomorrow, Mister Caleb."

"Sweet dreams, Mister Mollymauk," Caleb mumbles. He waves goodbye to Beau and Nott and Jester as they leave and as soon as they do, Fjord sighs,

"We've been trying to get them to leave for 30 minutes. Good timing on waking up." Caleb smiles a little and straightens up.

"They brought food," Yasha says, placing a tray in front of Caleb. "You need to eat." And dutifully, Caleb eats the bland hospital food.

It's peaceful and Caleb adjusts his seating position carefully. The amicable quiet stretches on until there is movement in Caleb's periphery. Caduceus is pushing himself upright.

"Caduceus!" he yelps and Fjord moves immediately, helping the firbolg settle.

"Hello, Caleb. I'm glad you're awake."

"How are you feeling?" asks Yasha softly.

"Hey, Yasha. I'm good. Sore, but we're all good here," replies Caduceus and Caleb exhales, realising how much he had missed Caduceus’s reassuring deep rumble.

“You should eat and drink something,” Caleb says quickly and Yasha nods, moving to offer Caduceus food and water which he accepts eagerly.

Caleb frets. Caduceus looks terrible. Even conscious, Caleb is very aware of the lack of hair Caduceus now has and the wounds covered by the pristine white bandages. When Caduceus has drunk and eaten, he turns straight to Caleb.

“Caleb, how are you?” And Caleb has to bite his lip hard, so he doesn’t cry.

“Ja, good.”

“You look troubled,” says Caduceus, calmly. Damn him. Always more concerned with others than himself. And out of the corner of Caleb’s eye, he can see Fjord and Yasha shuffling out the door.

“This, this is my fault,” Caleb whispers. “If I hadn’t called you, then we wouldn’t be here.”

“No, Mister Caleb. I will not have that,” says Caduceus, his voice as firm as ever. “It is not your fault. It was an accident that the fire started, and I will not blame you. I don’t regret coming to you.”

“But don’t you see, Caduceus?! I deserved to die in that fire for what I have done!” Caleb says, voice raising sharply. “I deserved to die and yet you are the one who is most hurt! I am a terrible person…”

“You are not, Caleb!” Caduceus replies, his tone immediately low and gentle, despite the firmness in his voice.

“I killed my own parents with fire!” Caleb shouts and it is as if a dam has broken. He begins to cry in earnest, his hands shaking. “It’s… it’s my fault.” Caduceus reaches out one long furred arm and touches Caleb’s hand.

“Caleb… It is okay. It is not your fault. Tell me what happened with your parents.” And so, Caleb spills everything about Trent and his parents and the cult, through tears. Caduceus is quiet through it all. When Caleb is done, he feels exhausted despite not having been awake for very long.

“Oh, Caleb,” Caduceus says and there is so much… sympathy? In his voice? “What happened to you is not your fault. What happened with your parents is the fault of that evil man who brainwashed you. And what happened with you and me was a complete accident. No one is at fault there.”

Caleb blinks up at him.

“You truly believe that?”

“I do. And you are a good person, Caleb. You saved me from that fire, didn’t you?” Caduceus says in that eerily perceptive way he has. Caleb nods slightly. “Exactly. It is not your fault. And we will always care for you, no matter what.”

Caleb thinks about that for a moment. Beauregard and Nott had said the same thing when he had told them. He had sort of believed them and the calm stubbornness of Caduceus is helping.

The firbolg in question looks exhausted but he gives Caleb one more smile.

“You will always be my best friend, Caleb and that will not change as long as you remain who you are.”

And Caleb is left to consider that for the rest of the evening.


	17. Zart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are beginning to look up slightly for the Mighty Nein. Hopefully they will be able to go home soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!!  
> I hope you guys still like this, sorry about the slow upload speed, work is Busy.  
> But I'm still all for this!!  
> Thank you all so much for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter Title means Gentle

Beau wakes groggily, her face planted into a pillow, her back aching. It takes her a minute to work out why she's lying face-down on the floor.

Yes.

 Right.

 Caleb and Caduceus in the hospital. Went over to Jester's to sleep rather than going back to her own flat.

She pushes herself upright, running a hand through her untied hair. It has become all crimped and frizzy after the shower last night but she just ties it back immediately. Beside her, Jester is still sleeping, her tail intertwined with Mollymauk's. Nott looks to be waking up slowly, crunching up her nose unhappily and so Beau gets up quietly.

 She slips into the bathroom to clean up and sighs, looking around the room. It's so... _Jester._ She wonders if Fjord had some input because of the distinctive nautical theme but the bathroom is full of brightly coloured bath bombs and shampoos and soaps.

It's so different from her own bathroom shared with Yasha. Theirs is so tidy and separate. Beau's stuff on one shelf, Yasha's in another.

 This whole thing has really brought them closer. She and Yasha have been housemates for nearly 3 years at this point.

Almost 3 years of pining, of disaster lesbian moments on early mornings, of accidental nudity and sexual tension.

And then the fire.

And not knowing if one of her closest friends and a man who was all but her brother were both going to survive. And she realised that dancing around Yasha was stupid.

So when they went to get Frumpkin from the firefighters, she had turned to her and said,

"I'm in love with you. I... you gotta know that. Everything is fucked every six ways right now and I need you to know where I stand in case something like this happens."

And Yasha had looked over from the driver's seat and had taken her hand and said,

"Glad it's not just me who feels that way." They haven't really discussed their relationship since then, what with all the hospital stuff and the panic.

But it's nice. Yasha seems happy. Or as happy as she can be considering the situation.

Beau sighs, staring at herself in the mirror. Yeah, she'll do. Now she looks more like she hasn't slept well and less like she has slept in a chair for three days. She heads back into the living room where they had slept to find Molly and Nott both slowly waking up. Jester is gone, apparently already full of energy. Molly rubs his eyes and blinks up at Beau.

"Mornin'," he mutters, stretching out.

"Hey. You wanna go back to the hospital?"

"Yeah, as soon as. I... Caleb..." he says, waving his hand expressively and shrugging.

"Yeah, I get it. Me too, man." Molly nods, looking sympathetic. He has slipped into their group of idiots so well that Beau forgets how long he has been with them. It feels like forever.

It doesn't take them long to gather themselves and head back to the hospital after a hasty breakfast of pastries. It's around 9:30, 10 am, when they arrive and hurry up to the correct room. Caleb is awake, reading what looks like a very shitty paperback novel, likely bought in the hospital shop. He perks up as soon as they enter but holds a hand up.

"Shhh. Fjord and Caduceus are still sleeping." And sure enough, the half-orc is draped over a chair and Caduceus is curled up slightly in his bed. Yasha waves from her spot beside Caleb and Beau fights down a smile.

So, the four of them enter quietly and Yasha nervously pats her lap, looking over at Beau. She blinks, surprised at this and in that split second, Yasha has a lapful of purple tiefling. Molly grins at Beau, sharp teeth flashing.

"Motherfucker," hisses Beau but Molly just laughs and gets up, moving to sit cross-legged at the base of Caleb's bed.

"Unpleasant One," he teases, and Beau just flips him the bird as she goes to sit on Yasha's lap. Caleb looks incredibly amused. Yasha smiles, small and shy, placing her hand on Beau's leg.

"Any news?" asks Jester quietly.

"Cad is healing better than anyone expected," says Yasha. "Cleric Toluse came around early this morning and she says that hopefully they can both be discharged either tonight if he wakes up or tomorrow."

Beau looks over at Caleb who looks... torn. He looks happy to be leaving but the glances towards Caduceus are guilt-ridden. She sighs. Caleb is all but her brother and she knows him. She knows he will be blaming himself for this. His penchant for self-flagellation is incredibly high. But also, challenging him about it now, in front of everyone is illogical. He won't respond well. So, Beau decides to corner him as soon as she can.

The room falls into silence, a calm gentle quiet, rather than the strained one which has been more than common recently. Beau quite likes it really. The quiet continues until there is a weak snuffling sound and Beau looks over to see Caduceus rubbing his eyes with one slow hand.

“Oh… Hey,” he rumbles.

“Hey Caduceus!” chirps Jester, smiling and Cad gives her a slow, easy smile.

“Hey Jester. S’good to see all of you.”

“How are you feeling?” asks Nott, standing up on her chair so she can look over at him.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Nothing a good cup of tea and rest won’t fix,” he says in that easily optimistic way, but Beau knows better. She can hear the wheeze in both his and Caleb’s chest and the way they move slowly. They’re both in severe pain. The other members of the Nein don’t seem to believe him either by the pregnant pause after his statement.

“Mmm. Well, the cleric said that we might be able to go today,” says Beau calmly.

“Oh good!” says Cad and a moment later, it seems to hit him, the reality of that. “Oh…”

“Um, Caduceus, you can come stay with us,” says Jester immediately and Nott pipes up, turning to look at Caleb,

“And I’m going to stay with Yeza.”

“And, uh, um, well,” Molly stumbles over his words and from around Beau, Yasha pats his tail reassuringly. “My, uh, my flat isn’t much, Caleb, but ah, you can stay with me?” Beau can see the cogs turning in Caleb’s head and he manages a small nod.

“Oh, ah, um, thank you, Mollymauk,” he manages to say as Caduceus rumbles,

“Thank you, Jester. That is very kind of you.”

And Beau stifles her grin behind her hand. This is good. This is good.

* * *

 

Caleb is just finishing his terrible book at around 1, 1:30pm? It is frustrating that he can’t tell the time still, but he is able to guess fairly accurately. Caduceus has been awake since around 10am and it’s very promising for the Mighty Nein to be able to get out of the hospital.

Caleb is very grateful.

He wants to take a shower and see Frumpkin and not been stuck here feeling useless and watching his friends, no… his _family_ look so worried.

And so, when Lieve’tel, looking fairly haggard for a high elf comes wheeling in at 2pm, Caleb straightens.

“Ah, Mister Clay and Mister Widogast, both awake. Fantastic.” She goes over to Caduceus first and makes her checks, some physical, some using magic. She smiles and looks a little astonished. “Well, you are healing incredibly quickly, Mister Clay. The damage done… well. However, there is some bad news. The burns on your left leg have been severe enough to cause significant damage to the muscles, tendons and nerves. They are healing well, but it is likely they will not heal completely.”

“What does that mean?” says Fjord, his voice guarded and rough.

“I cannot be sure, but it is likely you shall walk with a limp for the rest of your life, Mister Clay.” Caduceus nods, seeming somewhat unfazed.

“The Wildmother can only heal so much,” he replies easily.

“Your faith is strong. It will help. And you, Mister Widogast,” Lieve’tel says as she comes over and Caleb blinks, his mind already caught up in a dark spiral.

It’s _his fault._ It’s all his fault that Caduceus is permanently injured.

“Ah,” says the cleric and Caleb just looks up at her. “As I thought. Both of you have permanent damage to your lungs, as we have previously discussed. But nothing more than that and some scarring, Mister Widogast.” Caleb just nods.

He deserves the injuries.

It is all his fault and he deserves the pain and the injuries but Caduceus doesn’t.

His grip tightens on his book and blood rushes through his ears, making it difficult to hear what Lieve’tel is saying.

“-go today. I’ll be… within 30 minutes.” And he thinks Mollymauk is speaking but he can’t hear anything over the blood thundering through his veins, over the self-hatred in his head.

A hand touches his own.

Caleb looks down.

It’s Beau, her hand outstretched and placed carefully over his own, which gives him something to focus on.

Beau’s fingers are longer, her skin is darker, her knuckles are bruised and her pinky finger is bent from an old break which didn’t feel right.

He raises his eyes and finds her gently looking at him. She doesn’t try to hold his gaze; she never has. She lets him look away but Caleb is still comforted by her presence and the knowing nature.

She can see his self-hatred.

Caleb inhales and focuses on his breathing and when he can focus again, Lieve’tel is gone and Mollymauk and Nott both look very concerned.

“Cay-Cay?” Nott asks and Caleb manages a faint smile.

“I am okay. Just, um…” he gestures vaguely and Molly nods, placing his hand over Caleb’s easily.

“We understand. Lieve’tel said we can leave in 30 minutes, but both you and Caduceus have to take wheelchairs. You’re likely not strong enough to stand yet. We’re going to go to Jester’s, but we can head back to my place as soon as you want,” Molly says, his voice low and reassuring.

Caleb definitely doesn’t deserve this man.

He doesn’t deserve Mollymauk’s kindness and easy perception when Caleb needs space and he doesn’t deserve his offer of a home.

But Molly is beautiful and Caleb never claimed to be a strong-willed man.

“Ja, okay, okay. Thank you.” Beau withdraws her hand and Caleb sags a little. He’s going to be okay… Maybe.

Lieve’tel returns with some papers and wheelchairs and before Caleb knows it, he is being carried into the wheelchair by Yasha, who gives him one of their small secret smiles.

They call it the we-are-introverts-together look. Caduceus gives Caleb a knowing grin as he too is lifted into a chair.

It’s a little humiliating, but Caleb is used to being vulnerable. Molly gives him a soft kiss on the head and then they are moving, moving, going, leaving…

The afternoon sun on Caleb’s face feels incredible.

As he inhales, he thinks of the last time he had been freed from inside… back after the cult, after the years trapped in his own mind in a hospital, so very different from the one he has just left.

He remembers the tingling warmth of the sun on his skin then as he had stumbled out, alone and afraid and only just able to function.

And now, he is pushed back into this sunlight by his partner, surrounded by his family and Caleb Widogast can’t help but be a little amazed at how far away he is from Bren Aldric Ermendrud now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had been missing my favourite monk so she gets to be here and I love her.
> 
> Also, I guess this makes it super clear I'm Not American as we have a welfare state where I live and YES THE HOSPITAL WILL GIVE YOU WHEELCHAIRS FOR FREE FOR YOU TO RETURN WHEN YOU HAVE HEALED. But also I know very little about injuries sorry?


	18. Mitbewohner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb likes Molly's apartment. It feels safe and Caleb feels... oddly calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!! Hope you are all doing well and jesus, we're hitting 40K in this one, so much longer than any of my other fics. Thank you so much for reading!  
> A nice bit of fluff and comfort for our lil boi because he deserves it.
> 
> But also, as per last chapter  
> And they were roommates!  
> OH MY GODS THEY WERE ROOMMATES.
> 
> Chapter title means roommate :p

Caleb and Molly do not stay at Jester’s very long. They remain for about an hour, but soon Caleb tires and Mollymauk suggests that they go back to his own place.

Caleb is nervous.

He doesn’t know how to respond to Mollymauk, not like this. He is so vulnerable right now, unable to walk, to fend for himself, to be useful in anyway. But Molly is so patient and Caleb is worried as to when that patience will run out.

They get a taxi back to Molly’s place, which is a small ground-floor apartment, just outside of the city centre, only 10 minutes from Jester’s by car.

“It’s not much,” Molly mutters as he wheels Caleb into the flat. “But what is mine is yours and it is safe and warm.” Caleb just smiles up at him.

“I appreciate this, Mollymauk. I did… I suppose I was very worried about what would happen, with the bookstore…” Caleb trails off and Molly rubs his shoulder as he wheels him into the living room.

“I get it. And we’ll rebuild the bookstore, I swear. Together.” Caleb turns to look up at Mollymauk and pauses.

Mollymauk is beautiful.

Sure, he looks tired and messy from having spent the last few days in the hospital with them but he is still radiant in the weak evening sun which filters in through the gauzy curtains. His jewellery glitters and his red eyes are so soft and expressive. At first, Caleb had found it more difficult than usual to read Mollymauk because of the flat red of his eyes, but now he can only see affection in them. Molly’s head is slightly tilted, his face in a small smile and Caleb is melting.

“Caleb?” he asks softly and the wizard blinks, trying to clear his head.

“Ja? Ah… sorry. I… Ja, I appreciate everything, I really do.” Molly chuckles.

“You seem tired. Do you want to go to the bedroom?”

“Nein! Nein… I’m bored of being tired. Can I just sit here with you?” The tiefling gives a gentle grin and nods, coming around to help Caleb on to the sofa.

It’s a struggle.

Caleb is still pretty weak, and Molly isn’t really that strong, so it takes around five minutes literally to move him 3 feet, especially as both of them continue to giggle. But finally, they are curled up on the sofa together, Molly’s tail wrapped around Caleb’s uninjured wrist and Caleb’s head resting against Molly’s chest.

“Want to watch silly videos on youtube?” Molly murmurs, wriggling slightly to grab his phone and he gets a nod in response as Caleb settles against his chest.

“Ja… Cat videos?” And Molly laughs, warm and ringing but he nods.

“Cat videos, as you wish.”

And so, they just sit there for at least an hour and a half, letting Youtube’s autoplay carry them through more and more videos until Caleb’s stomach rumbles and it startles Mollymauk slightly.

“Hungry then, huh? Shall we order pizza, my treat?” Caleb blinks up at the tattoo artist and opens his mouth to protest, but Molly must have guessed it for he huffs and shakes his head. “Nope, Caleb, my treat. Pizza or something else?”

“Ah, _ich…_ ja. Ja, thank you,” Caleb sighs. “Pizza is good.”

“Pizza _is_ good,” agrees Mollymauk firmly and Caleb smiles, leaning against him.

“Okay, Mollymauk.” The tiefling grins a little and shifts his phone to call the pizza place. And Caleb just tilts his head ever so slightly to watch Mollymauk as he talks.

He’s so radiant, even in the cold fluorescents of the room. He talks with that low, lilting accent which makes his words all that bit softer and easier to hear. Caleb is often frustrated with his own accent, choked by the harsh sounds of his native Zemnian but despite the roughness of Infernal, none of that spoils Molly’s voice.

Caleb wonders what Mollymauk sounds like when he speaks Infernal.

He wonders what Mollymauk sounds like when he is too overcome with pleasure to remember to speak Common.

And now Caleb can feel his blush as he turns his face into Molly’s chest, feeling the rumble of his voice as he completes their order. He stays pressed there, feeling the tiefling card his claws gently through his hair.

“Alright down there?” Caleb feels the question more than hears it and hums in response.

“Ja, I am good.”

“Good. Pizza’ll be here in like 20 minutes,” he murmurs and presses a soft kiss to the top of Caleb’s head. Caleb only curls closer to him in response, pressing against the warm heat of the tiefling.

“Are you okay, Caleb? Not in pain or anything?” comes the usual question and the wizard gives his usual answer.

“I am fine. A little sore, but fine.” He catches the easy smile of Molly out of the corner of his eye and relaxes.

“Okay, darling. A few more cat videos then, huh?” And they restart the watching of the videos until there is a knock at the door and Molly shifts Caleb gently to get up.

The pizza is good, but Caleb is distracted.

Where will he sleep tonight? The sofa is not uncomfortable, but he is not sure if it won’t mess up his injuries slightly. Also, will he get to see Frumpkin soon? He knows that his cat is currently staying with Beau and Yasha but what will happen more long term?

What will happen more long term with him?

He can’t live on Mollymauk’s sofa forever, but he has no idea how damaged the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café_ was. How many books did he lose? How much of the _Blooming Grove_ was destroyed?

How can they rebuild from here?

“Caleb, darling!” comes Molly’s voice, sharp and slightly worried and the wizard realises he has been holding a slice of pizza and staring at the wall for about a minute. He reflexively takes a bite and then mumbles,

“Sorry, sorry, just thinking.”

“What about? You looked… sad.”

“About… Well. About what happens next. What do I do from here?”

“You trust us,” says Molly simply and Caleb blinks, confused. “You stay here. Tomorrow, we’ll go and get Frumpkin from Yasha and Beau so he can stay here too. Then in a few days when you are stronger, we go see what the damage is for the bookstore and the flower shop and the Mighty Nein begin a big fucking rebuild.”

“The Mighty Nein?” Caleb asks weakly.

“Of course. You don’t think that anyone from our little group of weirdos wouldn’t work their asses off to get you and Cad back on your feet? We’ll all come in on our days off and make sure that you and Cad definitely don’t do too much work,” Mollymauk explains and he sounds so sure it throws Caleb slightly.

“Oh. Okay,” Caleb manages to reply and then returns to eating his pizza as Molly continues,

“And maybe, I think that I’ll take you over to Jessie’s on a morning when I go to work, huh? Then you and Cad can keep each other company whilst you’re healing up. Unless you don’t want…”

“Nein. I, ah, I would like that. It will be nice to spend time with him. And he is easy to sit with and not worry.”

“Isn’t he?” chuckles Molly. “He’s such a calming and easy presence.”

“Ja, definitely…” Caleb says, trailing off. It’s all _his fault._ He shoves that thought to the back of his mind and settles back into Molly. He’s tiring quickly now, his eyes drooping and his head lilting which Mollymauk seems to immediately notice.

“Ah, looks like it’s time for bed. C’mon darling, I’m definitely getting tired too.”

And after a long few moments of getting Caleb into his wheelchair, Molly pushes him down the corridor.

“The bathroom’s just at the end here, and this is my, well, our bedroom.” He knocks open the door with his hip to reveal a very… _Mollymauk_ room.

The room isn’t big and is draped in all kinds of colourful tapestries and curtains, to give a riotous, yet cosy feel. There is a small dresser which is covered in palettes and lipsticks, thrown haphazardly around and there is a large closet in the corner, which looks full to bursting. But the true showstopper in the room is the bed. It is a double, but the whole thing is so covered in pillows and brightly coloured blankets that it is difficult to tell that.

Caleb is so taken by the room that it takes a second for that word to compute in his brain.

_Ours._

“ _Was?_ I am sleeping on the couch, Mollymauk?” he tries and Molly scowls.

“No way in all of the Nine Hells. You are sleeping in that bed and I will sleep on the couch if you are uncomfortable sleeping together.”

“Nein, I cannot, you have been kind enough-”

“Caleb Widogast, no, you are hurt and you need to rest.”

“Mollymauk, I am not taking your bed.”

“Then we can share it,” Molly blurts out and Caleb can see the tell-tale signs of a warm blush on his cheeks, despite his rich purple skin tone. “We can share the bed. It’s big enough for both of us. Besides, Caleb, I’ve waited a month to get you in my bed.” He tries for flirtatious, but it almost comes off as nervous and Caleb melts.

“Okay. Okay, liebling. I would like to share it with you. Danke.” Mollymauk gives a shy but easy grin and nods.

“Good. Into bed then!”

It takes at least 30 to 45 minutes for them to get into bed. Caleb is frustrated by the fact that he has to request assistance from Molly for basically everything but eventually, they manage to sink into the bed which is almost sinfully soft.

Caleb is used to firm beds; his own mattress is more springs than mattress at this point and this luxury is unusual but very welcome and it only takes a second for Caleb to drift into an easy sleep.

* * *

Mollymauk wakes slowly, cocooned in warmth and reassured by the slowly breathing body beside him. He rolls over carefully to look at Caleb, who is still fast asleep, hair askew, face lax. The one good thing about the strong painkillers that Caleb is on is that it appears to make him sleep deep enough to prevent any nightmares. The tiefling shifts over and presses a soft kiss to the sleeping human’s forehead.

Gods, he loves this man.

He wouldn’t say it yet. Too much has happened, too much is still on the line right now, but he feels deep in his heart.

The tiefling slips of bed to make breakfast and get ready before he wakes Caleb.

After a quick breakfast and a few texts to Yasha later, they are in the car on the way to the house to pick up Frumpkin. Caleb is quiet this morning, fairly tired and groggy, but he seems relaxed.

“I have missed him,” he says about five minutes into the drive, rubbing his blue eyes.

“Frumpkin? I am sure he has missed you,” replies Molly easily. Caleb settles into the chair.

“It will be nice to see him,” he murmurs, shuffling as he starts to properly wake. And as they pull up to the little place, he straightens up, sighing a little.

“Ready?” Molly asks.

“Ja, ja. Get me in that damn chair.” And Molly gives an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry. Lieve’tel said it would likely only be a couple of days.” Caleb nods and huffs but doesn’t complain as Molly helps him of the car and into the apartment.

“Yasha, Beau!” he calls and immediately Molly hears a “Shit, fuck!” from the other room and laughs as Beau comes barrelling out, dressed in a sports bra and pyjama pants.

“Oh. Hey. I’ll just. Yep.” She nods and then heads into what is presumably her room as Yasha emerges, smiling.

“Hello Molly, Caleb. Do you want some tea?” Molly nods, grinning as he helps Caleb to sit on the lumpy sofa.

“Sounds good. Is Frump-” is as far as Mollymauk gets before a streak of ginger shoots through Yasha’s legs and presses up against Caleb.

“Oh, _gut katze, gut katze,_ ” Caleb coos as he leans down to scratch Frumpkin behind the ears and the tiefling melts. He loves him so much.

Mollymauk goes to help Yasha brew the tea and gets immediately cornered for his trouble.

“You look different,” Yasha says.

“Huh?” says Molly, glancing back at Caleb who is baby-talking his cat in Zemnian.

“You look at _him_ differently,” Yasha corrects herself and Molly can feel the blush rising in his cheeks.

“I just… I’m just worried about him. He’s my partner, is that acceptable?” Yasha gives him a little secretive smile.

“Mm. You look like you’re in love.” And now Mollymauk’s cheeks are on fire.

“Hush! He can’t know that. It’s too soon and there is too much going on and, Yash!” he hisses which only makes her laugh.

“It’s okay. Your secret is safe with me.”

“Good,” Molly says, immediately turning the conversation on its head. “Because what about you and Beau, huh? I see those eyes, those lingering touches.” It’s her turn to blush and she shrugs, pouring out the tea.

“It’s good. I am happy. She spoke to me and now, I think we are dating? I will ask her about it today.” Molly relaxes. He knows that Yasha has had a crush on her housemate for a while, but dealing with her own loss has been so difficult and he is so proud of her.

“Good. You deserve to be happy, Yash.”

“So do you, Molly.”

“Oh,” says Molly, looking back at where Caleb is now slowly stroking Frumpkin. “I am, Yasha. I really am.”

They only stay to drink their tea before Caleb tires again and Molly knows he should get him home and call Calianna to tell her he’ll be back at work soon. But as they ride home, Frumpkin sat happily on Caleb’s lap and the Zemnian smiling softly, Mollymauk feels the same rush of love.

Yes.

Caleb Widogast has certainly made himself at home in Molly’s heart.


	19. Freudvoll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mollymauk and Caleb spend time together. They visit the Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café and have a conversation, which leads somewhere else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you are all still enjoying this!!  
> YES NOTE THE UPDATED RATING, SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER.  
> If you don't want to read that, stop reading at:  
> “You’re very welcome,” he mumbles against Caleb’s lips. Caleb shifts, reaching up to grab on to Molly’s horn and grins before thoroughly kissing him back."
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you all so much for your comments!  
> Chapter title means Joy-filled

Mollymauk refuses to go back to work whilst Caleb is still too weak to stand, so he promises Calianna that he will be back on Thursday.

Just over a week after the fire.

A week after the fear and desperate horror at the idea that he could have lost Caleb.

And it is thanks to the wonders of healing magic that Caleb is alive, let alone almost mobile after only a week.

It’s early Tuesday morning and Mollymauk lies on his back in bed, Caleb still asleep beside him as he watches the weak morning sun filter through the gap in the curtains. He can hear Frumpkin in the kitchen, puttering around quietly and everything is washed with gold and silver and silence.

Everything is peaceful.

Caleb doesn’t take long to wake, twitching and frowning as the sunlight hits his face.

“Good morning, beautiful,” Molly murmurs and Caleb’s nose wrinkles further.

“Mmm, nein, nein,” he mutters, reaching up with one hand to rub his eyes. Slowly, blue meet red and Caleb smiles. “You are the beautiful one.” Molly smiles, soft and adoring.

“Oh, hush, you,” the tiefling murmurs, leaning down to kiss Caleb’s forehead. The wizard hums and tilts his head back to press a chaste kiss to Molly’s lips. It’s lazy and sun-drenched and Molly cannot imagine anything better.

Well, he can.

Caleb could not be injured.

But for now, he will take this gentle and easy affection.

Slowly, Molly straightens up and smiles.

“I’ll bring you some breakfast and then we can talk about what to do today, okay?”

“Oh, ja, okay,” Caleb says, shuffling back to sit upright and Molly smiles before disappearing into the kitchen. Frumpkin greets him with a pitiful mew and he sighs playfully before putting down some canned tuna for him and then beginning to make breakfast.

Molly’s not a great cook, but he’s not a bad one either, so he whips up scrambled eggs on toast and coffee pretty well before taking them back in for Caleb.

The aforementioned wizard is reading the book on Molly’s beside table, which he had managed to dig out for Caleb the day before.

“Any good?” Molly asks and Caleb shrugs.

“Not the worst,” he admits and the tiefling laughs as he comes to sit down with Caleb.

“I’ll take that. Breakfast, here you go.” The wizard brightens, putting the book down and smiling.

“Ah, thank you, _liebling._ ”

They are quiet for a long few moments as they eat and then Caleb says,

“I want to go to the bookstore. I need… I need to see the damage.” Mollymauk sighs, reaching over to drape his arm around Caleb’s shoulders.

“Are you sure? You should wait until you are stronger.”

“Nein, I, ach, I have to see it, Mollymauk. I have to know what’s left.”

“Okay, okay,” replies the tiefling, pressing soft kisses to Caleb’s hair. “We will go today.” And Caleb relaxes, nuzzling into Molly’s touches.

“Danke, danke…”

It takes a little while for them to get ready. Caleb is getting stronger, but he still can only just dress himself and his legs are far too unsteady for him to walk yet. Most of the burn damage was to his left leg and hip, with more superficial burns up his arm and neck. They’re ugly and sore, but they don’t restrict him so much, especially not after the healing magic pumped into his body by Lieve’tel and Shakäste.

* * *

 

But soon enough, Caleb and Molly are squashed into Mollymauk’s little rickety car and making their way through the streets of Zadash. Molly can see the tension in Caleb’s jaw, the worry in his eyes, so he begins to hum reassuringly, trying to calm his partner somewhat. It works for a time, until they turn the corner, parking the car, and they can see the _Zemnian Traveller Bookstore and Café._

The building is intact, mainly, but the roof is destroyed and what looks to be most of the living areas upstairs. Downstairs, the glass of the windows is blacked with soot, but it appears to be still standing.

The _Blooming Grove Flowershop_ is so much worse. The upper floor has been mostly destroyed by the roof collapsing in and there is no glass in the windows, letting them see into the shop floor which is filled with charred beams and plants.

Both have yellow tape in front of them, declaring them unsafe.

Caleb makes a choked sound in the back of his throat and Mollymauk immediately reaches over to take his hand.

“Do you want…” he trails off, but Caleb is nodding, understanding the question. And so, loathe as he is to release him, Molly gets out and helps Caleb into the wheelchair. The street is oddly silent as he wheels the wizard over to the burnt-out ruins of his bookstore. They stop in front of the tape and Mollymauk notices something.

There is a small collection of items placed between the two shops. Flowers, notes, a few stuffed cats and small books.

“Caleb,” he says. “Look.” He gestures to the gifts and wheels Caleb over, kneeling down beside him.

“ _Was…_?” Caleb says and Molly picks up the first note.

“Caleb Widogast, you better call me to tell me what the hell is going on. Seriously, I hope you are safe. Here is my own copy of _Beyond the River’s Dawn_ to restart your collection. Sincerely, Bryce,” he reads aloud and Caleb laughs, the sound tearful and wet.

“These are from our regular customers. Bryce is a friend.”

“Here’s another: ‘Mister Caleb, I sincerely hope you are okay. I will visit every day in the hope of seeing you. Here is the very first book you sold me, for well under the price I should have paid. It isn’t much, but I hope it helps. Ebil Nowhere.’ Caleb, there are so many of these!”

“Are some for Caduceus too?” Caleb asks softly.

“Oh, yeah, here’s one: ‘Mister Clay, I hope the Wildmother has smiled upon you and you were not too badly hurt. My family will support you in anyway we can, Nila.’” Molly reads, and he can feel tears pricking his own eyes. These people care. They care so much for Caduceus and Caleb. “We, we should leave a reply, wait just a second.” He leaves Caleb to quietly pour over the well wishes and hurries back to his car to grab the large sketch pad that lives in the back seat in case he has tattoo ideas. He grabs it and a black marker, before hurrying back over, flipping it open to the first clean page and writing in large bold letters:

**Thank you for all your well wishes. Caleb and Caduceus were both badly injured in the fire, but they are healing well. All your support is appreciated.**

As he is writing this, Mollymauk has an idea. But he should run it past Caleb first.

“Caleb?”

“Ja?” The wizard is currently hugging a plush cat.

“What would you say to a funding site?”

“A what?” Caleb replies, completely confused. And Molly remembers that his partner lives in the 1980s apparently.

“It’s a website where you can raise money for things like helping to rebuild places. Considering the gifts, people want to support you as much as they can.” Caleb blinks and then smiles ever so slightly.

“I would appreciate that.” Mollymauk grins and adds to the sign:

**If you would like to donate to the rebuilding effort, go to fundmything.com/rebuildZTandBG**

**Thank you all so much.**

**Caleb Widogast and Caduceus Clay**

It’s only after he has written it that he realises he needs to check with Caduceus too.

“I’m just gonna call Cad, okay, darling?” Molly says, fumbling for his phone and Caleb hums in agreement, reading over another note.

Caduceus picks up quickly.

“Hello, who is this?” And Mollymauk realises that he stole Caduceus’s number from Jester’s phone three days ago and never told the firbolg.

“Ah, Cad, hey, it’s Molly.”

“Oh! Hello Mister Mollymauk. How can I help you? Is Caleb okay?”

“Caleb’s fine. We’re at the bookstore and there are lots of gifts and well wishes here from your regular customers. I was thinking of setting up an account to allow people to donate to the rebuilding efforts. Would that be okay with you?”

“Oh…” says Caduceus, his low rumbling tone suddenly soft. “Oh, wow. I never, I wasn’t expecting… Yes. I would like that. I should come, collect these gifts.”

“It is beautiful,” Molly says softly. “People clearly care about the shops. But thank you. I’ll set it up tonight and well, we can hopefully make a start at clearing the shops soon. You rest up now, Cad and I’ll see you soon.”

“Thank you, Mollymauk. Thank you,” Caduceus says, sounding so very sincere.

“You’re very welcome,” Molly says softly as Caduceus hangs up. He steps back over to Caleb and gently places his hand on the wizard’s shoulder.

“I want, I need, the books…” Caleb says, brokenly and Molly nods.

“Okay. But I will go inside, in case it is unstable.” Caleb protests weakly but acquiesces and Molly ducks them under the tape and over to the door. Carefully, the tiefling tests it and finds that it creaks open, unlocked. Mollymauk slowly steps inside and looks around.

The wall which connected the two shops is destroyed, taking two bookcases with it, but it looks like most of the damage has been done to the upstairs. The room is soot-blackened, but most of the books look intact.

He steps back outside, and Caleb makes a questioning sound.

“Well, it needs a full redecoration. But most of the book weren’t damaged. You lost two bookshelves, the ones on the wall which connects the shops. But everything else is fine.” Caleb sags in relief and gives Mollymauk a genuine smile.

“Mollymauk, I… thank you. Thank you. For this.” Molly smiles and kneels down to take Caleb’s face gently in his hands.

“It is no problem, darling,” he murmurs, leaning forward to kiss him gently. “Come now, let’s go back, okay?”

Caleb nods, still pressed up against Molly.

“Okay.”

* * *

 

Caleb doesn’t know what he has done to deserve Mollymauk. Th tiefling had gathered up the gifts like the books and helped Caleb into the car before heading back. Then, once they were curled back up on his sofa, he had set up that funding site for them, all the while looking after Caleb.

He truly loves Molly.

Not that he is quite ready to admit that to himself or the tiefling in question.

For now, he is happy to watch Molly sing to himself as he cooks an evening meal for the two of them, with Frumpkin watching almost curiously.

Caleb loves Molly’s voice. It’s warm and lilting and perfect for singing just about anything.

Also, from this position, Caleb has an excellent view of Molly’s ass in his tight jeans and that is always a wonderful sight.

“Hey Caleb, how spicy do you like your pasta?”

“Uh, like a bit?” Caleb says, a little thrown.

“Okay, cool, will be ten minutes,” Molly calls back with a smile which Caleb returns slightly. He feels good right now. Everything hurts less and he feels less lethargic all the time. He hopes that he will continue to heal quickly so that he can get on with things that are more interesting than sleeping and resting.

Mollymauk is definitely one of those things.

They share a nice, quiet evening meal and then Molly settles Caleb down to watch a baking show which Caleb finds himself rather invested in. All the contestants seem so nice and he really just wants all of them to succeed. Molly seems very amused by this.

“You okay, Caleb?” he asks, teasing lightly as Caleb scowls at the elimination.

“Ja, just, she should not have gone! The other one did so much worse overall and she does not seem to be kind!” he mutters and only realises how he sounds when Molly laughs in response, idle and playful.

“It’s okay, Cay. C’mon, it’s late and you need to rest.”

“Are you going to work tomorrow?” Caleb asks quietly. He knows Molly’s boss, Calianna, vaguely. They have met a few times and he knows that Calianna likely has given Molly and Jester as much time off as they need after everything. But he also wants Molly to go back to doing something he loves.

“Not tomorrow, no. On Thursday, I’m going back. I want to stay with you until you are strong enough to walk,” Molly says firmly and Caleb blushes a little, pressing a gentle kiss to Molly’s cheek.

“Thank you,” is all he says and Mollymauk smirks, turning his head to kiss Caleb properly.

“You’re very welcome,” he mumbles against Caleb’s lips. Caleb shifts, reaching up to grab on to Molly’s horn and grins before thoroughly kissing him back.

The kiss is heated and slick; Caleb’s mouth is open with Mollymauk’s forked tongue running playfully over his teeth. The wizard clutches at the other’s hip with one hand and he can feel Molly’s touch, gentle as ever, over his chest and his teeth teasing at Caleb’s lip. It makes him whine slightly and press against the tiefling, slipping his tongue into Molly’s mouth, which earns him a pleasant hum. The wizard can feel the blood rapidly making its way southwards and continues in earnest. He draws his tongue over the sharp fangs of Molly and hisses happily at the feeling, gripping tightly to his horn, when slowly the tiefling draws back.

And oh, Caleb is _fucked._

Mollymauk looks incredible, his chest heaving and his lips swollen from kissing and the wizard can’t actually breathe.

“Oh, Caleb,” he breathes, cupping his face gently. “Are you sure about this? You’re not in any pain?” Caleb is shaking his head before Molly can finish his sentence.

“No pain, Mollymauk, please, just kiss me,” he whispers and the tiefling can only smile before he leans back down and captures Caleb’s lips once more.

This kiss is just as hot, though messier, their teeth clacking slightly as Caleb presses up against Mollymauk and their hips collide sharply. Which is when Caleb realises that he is half hard in his trousers. He doesn’t miss Molly’s sharp inhale as their hips touch and the wizard thinks that he is possibly turned on as well. And if that isn’t an incentive, Caleb doesn’t know what is.

He tilts his head to get a better angle and nips sharply at Molly’s bottom lip as the tiefling shivers slightly against him and Caleb can feel his tail wrapping around his calf tightly. For a second, Mollymauk breaks the kiss, only to press his lips down Caleb’s cheek and neck on the right side of his face.

“Molly, Molly,” Caleb hisses, tangling his hand in his deep purple hair and tugging slightly which makes the other growl against his skin.

“Caleb,” he murmurs, nipping at his collarbone gently. “Do you want to go further?”

“Please,” Caleb begs softly. “Mollymauk, please.” Caleb can’t ever think of a time that he has been so easily worked up. After just a few kisses and nips, he is already hard and whining at his partner’s ministrations.

“What do you want, Caleb?” Molly presses, his voice low and rich. “Tell me, darling.” What does Caleb want? He wants Molly to continue to kiss him; he wants Molly to leave bruises all the way down his neck and he desperately wants Molly to show some attention to his cock.

“Molly, Molly,” he whines, not able to express all of those thoughts and he feels Mollymauk lave his tongue down Caleb’s throat.

“Good boy. Tell me _exactly_ what you want,” he says and Caleb writhes, somehow more turned on by Molly’s voice in this timbre.

“Touch me, mark me, Mollymauk, _bitte,_ ” he manages to choke out and is rewarded with a swift nip to the underside of his jaw.

“Good boy,” Molly repeats and Caleb will definitely have to consider why he is so turned on by that phrase another time. Right now, he just gives a soft moan as the tiefling scrapes his sharp teeth over the pale skin of his neck before sucking a rough mark into the base of Caleb’s throat. The wizard whines, tugging on Molly’s hair sharply, which makes the tiefling groan. Caleb can feel his hands, hot through his clothing, dance over Caleb’s thighs, tracing little patterns. He is appreciative that Molly avoids all of the injuries that Caleb has and keeps his touches soft and light, though still maddening. The wizard’s legs spread, and he whimpers as Molly bites softly down on his throat. The tiefling’s hand is suddenly against the bulge in Caleb’s trousers and he hisses.

“Oh, Caleb,” purrs Molly, tracing the outline of his cock with one finger. “You are enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Ja-ah!” Caleb yelps as Mollymauk roughly palms him. “Bitte, Mollymauk, bitte!” The tiefling smiles against his skin and slides one hand around to Caleb’s hip, tugging his trousers and boxers down. It’s not the easiest movement, with Caleb still lying on his back on the couch, but he wriggles and writhes until Molly has shoved them down just enough to let his cock spring free. Mollymauk shuffles back, coiling himself up on the couch that is not really big enough for this, but Caleb would rather die than move.

Glittering red eyes meet lust-blown blue.

“Caleb, dearest,” says Molly, his voice as sweet as anything. “I would very much like to suck your cock.”

Caleb almost comes right there. The very idea of Mollymauk giving him a blowjob is enough to make him whine and he would blush, if all of the blood wasn’t much further south.

“Bitte, bitte, please, Molly, I would, _ja_ ,” he begs and the tiefling grins, self-satisfied before bending over, almost completely in half to kiss the tip of Caleb’s dick. And the wizard wasn’t awake that Mollymauk was so bendy, or that he would find that so attractive, but he is certainly learning it now. He makes a helpless sound and Molly chuckles, looking up to give Caleb a wink before leaning forward once more to take his cock into his mouth down to the root.

Caleb _shouts_. He yells out an expletive in Zemnian, mostly in surprise but it soon tails off into a low moan as Molly shifts to suck gently at his member, his nose nestled against the ginger hair at the base. Caleb’s hands fly into Mollymauk’s hair and he tugs a little which makes the tiefling moan around his dick and sends pleasure shooting up Caleb’s spine. He is quickly learning what Mollymauk likes.

Caleb is astounded at how gentle Mollymauk is, his fingers resting softly on his hipbones, bobbing his head slowly and drawing out soft moans from the wizard. He appreciates the mild touches now, when he is still so fragile, but Caleb can’t help but imagine when he is better and Mollymauk taking control. Mollymauk using Caleb as he likes, holding him down as he fucks him hard, telling Caleb exactly what to do. Just the thought of it makes the wizard shudder and in response, Molly hollows his cheeks and sucks his cock firmly. Caleb hisses out in pleasure, rocking his hips slightly into Molly’s mouth.

He knows he won’t last very long. It has been certainly a while since Caleb has had sex and having Molly like this is making him feel like a horny teenage all over again, pleasure sharp and all-consuming.

“Molly, ah _fick mich,_ Molly, I’m-!” He doesn’t get to finish his statement before Molly hums happily around his dick and swallows it down to the back of his throat. Caleb only lasts a few more seconds before he shouts out in pleasure, hips twitching as he releases down Mollymauk’s throat.

As he recovers, he blinks down at the tiefling to see him smile up at Caleb, lips closed.

Then he _swallows_ and Caleb could cry.

“Oh, _sheisse_ ¸ Mollymauk, ah…” he murmurs and the tiefling crawls up his body, careful to bracket himself over Caleb.

“Did you enjoy that, dear?” he asks, his voice silky smooth and Caleb nods vigorously.

“Ja, ja, Molly, you were so good, so perfect, let me,” Caleb babbles, shifting a little to slide his right hand into Molly’s own trousers and he finds the tiefling’s cock throbbing. Molly curses and shudders.

“Caleb, you don’t have to-”

“I want to, _liebling_ ,” he hisses, smearing the precum gathering at the tip of Molly’s dick down the length and he discovers something very interesting about him.

Molly’s cock is ridged.

Caleb cannot wait to be well enough to have that inside him.

He begins slowly, tracing his long, dextrous fingers over Molly’s member as he watches the tiefling tremble above him, lips barely parted. And then, slowly, easily, he takes Mollymauk in hand and begins to pump him.

“Oh, by the gods, Caleb, yes, yes!” yelps the tiefling as Caleb works him quickly, left hand tense on Molly’s hip. “Oh, fuck, you’re so good at this!” Caleb doesn’t speak in return, just watching Mollymauk lose himself to pleasure, his head thrown back and jewellery glittering in the weak light. He categorises everything. Twisting his hand sharply makes Molly curse; thumbing the head of his cock makes him pant and tremble and squeezing the base makes him howl out in Infernal.

Caleb likes that the best.

He thinks that someday, he will tie Molly down and ride him until the tiefling is unable to speak Common anymore.

“Fuck, Caleb, I’m going to cum,” Molly hisses, panting heavily. And Caleb speaks for the first time since he started touching Molly.

“Kiss me as you cum, Mollymauk,” he requests roughly, and Molly’s eyes go wide. He surges forward and messily, desperately kisses him as Caleb twists his hand a few more times before he feels the tiefling spurt all over his hand.

As Mollymauk pulls back, he moves to sit on his haunches, so as not to collapse on to Caleb and the wizard withdraws his hand from the other’s pants, looking at the sticky fluid that now covers it.

He looks Mollymauk directly in the eyes and slowly licks his fingers clean, which has the effect of making the tiefling choke on his own breaths.

“Fuck me running, Caleb…” he gasps as Caleb licks his own lips.

“Logistically difficult,” snarks the wizard and Molly snorts. “Was that… good?”

“Good?” Mollymauk’s eyes are soft. “Caleb, dearest heart, that was incredible. I can’t wait until you’re feeling better so we can experiment a little more.” The wizard grins, his blush back in full force.

“I have some ideas too,” he admits and Molly laughs, leaning down to gently kiss him.

“I’m so glad,” he murmurs against his lips. “C’mon now, darling. Let’s get some rest.”

After a little while of struggling, they manage to get into the bedroom and get into bed. Mollymauk places one arm over Caleb’s chest and he takes the offered purple hand.

“Goodnight, _liebling,_ ” he murmurs into the darkness.

“Sleep well, dearest,” says Mollymauk in response before they both drift into a gentle, sated sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Come bother me on twitter or tumblr, also as HistoriaGloria. I like chats :D


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